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In this week’s Parsha, all misunderstandings between the sons of Yaakov seem to be thrown out the window as soon as Yosef reveals himself. Yosef immediately downplays everything that had transpired between him and his brothers by telling his brothers that Hashem had this planned so I can feed you, (45:5-7). There is no reason for us to have any animosity.
What can we learn from the sibling rivalry that occurred between the sons of Yaakov? How can the tensions of the holy Shevatim reach such extremes? To answer these questions, we need to look no further than the Mefarshim (commentators) to gain an appreciation of the catastrophic consequences of misunderstandings.
In the opening moments of the story, Yosef “snitches” on his older brothers to his father. The Malbim (37:2) writes that Yosef thought his brothers were doing actions that were improper and he thought the best way to correct their actions was to tell his father. In turn, his father will give them Mussar and encourage them to go on the proper path. According to the Malbim, Yosef did this to help his brothers. Unfortunately, Yosef’s youthfulness failed to see or predict the consequences of his actions, Seforno (37:2). His brothers however, thought that Yosef was trying to anger them so they would sin and the sin would lead to their downfall, Seforno (37:19).
While sibling rivalries may be commonplace, how can the sons of Yaakov ever think of such an extreme action, to kill their own brother? The Seforno writes that the brothers thought that Yosef was trying to kill them, a Rodef. The Gemara in Berachos (58B) and elsewhere writes that if one is coming to kill a person, that person being chased should kill the person first before anything happens to himself. Therefore, the brothers had a right or even an obligation to kill Yosef. For this reason, the Seforno 37:18 writes that when Yosef was sent by his father to see how his brothers were doing, his brothers thought that Yosef was planning to kill them.[1] (In actuality, Yosef was trying to fulfill the Mitzvah of honoring his father. Rashi (37:13) writes that Yosef was so eager to fulfill the Mitzvah, that he went to check on his brothers, even though he knew that his brothers hated him).
The Seforno takes note that the Passuk describes that right after throwing Yosef was thrown into a pit, the brothers had a big feast. How can anyone ever feel good about throwing their brother into a pit? The Seforno (37:25) writes that it must be that the brothers thought that they acting appropriately, that they had the audacity to have an entire Seuda right after throwing their brother into the pit.
While the Seforno does tell us the sin that the brothers thought he was guilty of, the Ramban does not. However, it is clear in the Ramban’s commentary that the brothers thought that Yosef was guilty of something. For example, the Ramban (37:22) writes that it must be that the brothers did not know that there were poisonous snakes and scorpions in the pit. Why? Had they known, they would have immediately gathered that Yosef was righteous and would have taken him out of the pit.[2] Later on in the story, Reuven rebukes his brothers that they should have not treated his brother the way that they did (42:22) There, the Ramban (42:22) writes that Reuven’s rebuke to the brothers was that he sinned because he was a young child. We, the brothers should have ignored the sins of someone so young. Clearly, the brothers felt that Yosef was guilty of something.
In conclusion, it is important to be conscious and aware that any action done can be taken in multiple ways. It is important for us to place a premium that actions are not misread nor misinterpreted For example, the Gemara in Beitza (9A) writes that one is not permitted to move a work ladder outside lest one think that they are fixing their roof on Shabbos. The Gemara continues and writes that one is not allowed to hang up their clothing to dry on Shabbos, lest one come to think that clothing was laundered on Shabbos. (Of course, laundering is forbidden on Shabbos). It is evident that the Gemara expects us to act in a way that others do not suspect us of any wrongdoing. While these are examples of Bein Adam LeMakom suspicions, this is intuitively true for interpersonal relationships. On top of this obligation to not be misunderstood, one must continue to be diligent, to always judge everyone favorable, Avos (1:6).[3] If only both the doer and the observer would constantly be looking to straighten out any potential misunderstandings, how many families and businesses would be saved from complete devastation.
[1] The Seforno writes that Yosef was either trying to find fault in them or cause them to sin, which would then lead their father or Hashem to curse them to death.
[2] Meaning, only a righteous Tzaddik is protected from these harmful animals.
[3] This Mishna is undoubtedly dealing with normal people since the Gemara in Shabbos (97A) writes that someone who suspects an upright person is deserving of Makkos.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Berman
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