Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
What day is a potatoes least favorite?
Fri-day
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash!
What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Quit stalking me.
What am I? You throw away my outside and cook my inside. Then you eat my outside and throw away my inside.
Corn
If you take off my skin, I won't cry, but you will, what am I?
Onion
What's the fastest vegetable?
A runner bean.
What did the mama tomato say to her daughter tomato when out for a jog?
Ketchup!
What vegetable is a sailors worst enemy?
Leeks!
Why do potatoes always argue?
Because they can never see eye to eye.
What is small, red and whispers?
A hoarse radish.
What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin?
I yam what I yam.
What do you call an angry pea?
Grump-pea
Which vegetable might be hiding in your basement?
Cellar-y
What did one root vegetable say to the other when it misplaced its keys?
I'm sure they'll turnip.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What is green and goes to summer camp?
A Brussels scout.
How do you turn soup into gold?
Put 14 carrots in it.