January 2023

 Starting the Year off Right

Heart Attacks and Emotions

This study is a confirmation of Attitude Reconstruction and a warning that we've got to handle our anger and fear constructively, otherwise we endanger our hearts and our lives!

"A report concludes that intense anger and fear are linked to increased risk of heart-attacks. It found that in the two hours after expressing anger destructively, subjects were 8.5 times more likely to have a heart-attack. But even more astonishing, they found people were 9.5 times more likely to have a heart-attack after an intense anxiety attack.

         In the study, intense anger was classified as at 5 or above on a scale of 1 to 7 (ranging from 5 - "very angry, body tense, clenching fists or teeth, ready to burst," to 7 - "enraged, out of control, throwing objects.") And these outbursts were reportedly caused by arguments with family members (29 percent), arguments with others (42 percent), work anger (14 percent) and driving anger (14 percent). "



Setting Intentions for a Bright 2023

        In approaching resolutions, it's beneficial to step back and reflect on what you've learned and accomplished during the previous year. Be sure to keep looking until you come up with something you are proud of.

        With that in mind, it's easier to set some goals for the coming year. The idea is to shift your attention away from your shortcomings, bad decisions, and less than stellar behaviors, and just focus on making yourself more to your liking. Your ambitions don't have to be earthshaking but should reflect how you'd like to grow towards your potential.

        For me, it's asking myself, "What will bring me more joy, love, and peace for 2023?" I pose this question because happiness and personal fulfillment revolve around these three emotions. Joy, love, and peace are also the opposite of our other three emotions -- sadness, anger, and fear.  

Five Suggestions for Good Intentions

        Here are some ways to make the coming year one to remember. I've also noted what emotion each enlivens.

1. Lavish praise on yourself for what you do and who you are. (Joy). This combats the tendency to compare oneself to the wonderful things others may know, have, or accomplish. Praise can take the form of appreciating yourself at the end of the day or whenever you notice you’re subtly, or not so subtly, belittling yourself.

2. Vigilantly combat your negative judgments of others by looking for the positive. (Love). Find something good in what others wear, say, or do. There must be some positive thing you can substitute to counter your trashy thinking. The goal is to find our commonality, not to accentuate our differences.

3. Voice an appreciation in every interaction. (Love). This is a corollary to number two. Saying something positive isn't being a Pollyanna but merely an opportunity to uplift yourself and others. It feels good to be the sender as well as being the recipient. Giving voice to what you appreciate is an exercise to build positivity and good will.

4. Don't offer unsolicited advice. (Love). When not requested, sharing your "wisdom" is rarely received as you intended. I've learned (but sometimes forget) that I must ask for and receive permission before imparting my views on others about their situation. When I don’t, my sage advice lands with a thud since I'm out of my own territory.

5. Procrastinate less. (Peace and joy). If you are called to do something or assume a responsibility; then just do it. You’ll waste less time and energy. If there is a call to make, pick up the phone. It won't get any easier tomorrow.

And Five Other Possible Good Intentions

6. Speak up when it matters. (Joy). Being passive and letting situations unfold in ways that don't resonate or feel productive will eventually leave you feeling angry and or sad. When we don't chime in, it’s easy to withdraw from the interaction. If speaking up is difficult, just gulp and take the leap. You can always preface what you say with "This is hard for me and ..."

7. Set modest guidelines for exercise and eating. (Joy). It is a proven fact that eating good food and moving the body increases health and feelings of well being. Maybe just limit the amount of coffee, wine, ice cream, chocolate, or fast food you eat. Try making it a priority to go for a walk at least every other day.

8. Live in the present. (Peace). This could take the form of daily meditation, being in nature, playing with your dog, or just spending less time in your head. The more time you stay out of the past and the future, the more you feel grateful and in awe for what's in front of you right now.

9. Check-in with your intuition. (Joy and Peace). When uncertain about a given course of action, pause, breathe, and ask within (not your mind) what you know is best. This strategy can be used whether it is accepting an invitation for a social activity, taking a job offer, leaving a relationship, or finding a new living situation. No matter how large or small the question, answers from within, rather than our “should”, will hold us in good stead.

10. Forgive transgressors. (Peace, Love, and Joy). If someone has wronged you, deal with your sadness, anger, and/or fear. Then seek to truly walk in their shoes and remember we are all just doing our best. Look for your part and your lessons. After you do your inner work, determine what if anything you need to do to fully resolve the issue at hand and if so, do it. See if you can make it all the way back to love.