Featured Article
Making Small Talk
In my 26 years of teaching English to speakers of other languages, one of the areas of conversation that my clients have the most difficulty with is making small talk. They tell me that they feel awkward when they are standing or sitting next to someone and they don’t know what to say. For example, one client (we’ll call her Tina) arrived at a meeting a few minutes early, and there was only one other person in the room (we’ll call her Judy). They both sat at the conference table silently waiting for the rest of the team to arrive. But, after a few minutes, the silence began to feel awkward, and Tina tried to start a conversation. So, she introduced herself, and Judy introduced herself.
Next, Tina asked Judy if she had any children, and Judy just replied, “No.” Then, Tina asked Judy if she was married. Again, Judy replied, “No,” and Judy turned her attention to the meeting agenda in front of her. So, the conversation ended right there. Tina sensed that Judy may have been offended by her questions, but she didn’t have any idea why that would be. Where Tina came from, it was normal to ask someone if they were married and had children. As a matter of fact, it was a great conversation topic. But, in American corporate culture, this topic is taboo, just as asking someone for personal information.
So, the next time Tina wanted to use small talk to start up a conversation while waiting for a meeting, she tried talking about an acceptable topic, such as the weather.
The conversation went something like this:
Tina: Hi, I’m Tina.
Anna: Hi, Tina. I’m Anna.
Tina: What a beautiful day it is today! The sun is shining, and it looks like
spring is coming. I spent my lunch break sitting in the sun.
Anna: It is lovely outside. When I get home, I’m going to go for a run in
the park.
Tina: Oh, you like to run? I’ve recently taken up running. As a matter of
fact, I’m preparing to run in the company-sponsored half-marathon
next month.
Anna: What a coincidence! I’m signed up for that, too!
It’s easy to see how the topic of weather can lead to a lengthier conversation, even if you have never met the person before.
Other safe topics for small talk are:
· Arts and Entertainment (museums, movies, concerts, theater)
· Sports
· Food, restaurants
· Travel
· Hobbies
· The town or city you are in
--Erika Marie McClane