“The first duty of love is to listen.”
Paul Tillich
Recently a friend shared that it was their 10
th
wedding anniversary, and that they were going on a trip to celebrate.
I ran into her a few weeks later, wished her a Happy Anniversary and asked about their trip.
She was surprised that I remembered and gave me a huge hug, as she excitedly shared all the details about their anniversary.
It seems like such a simple thing - to listen to someone, but it doesn't happen all the time. If we want to have stronger relationships with others, personally and professionally, we MUST become as good at listening as we are at talking.
Think about your listening expertise. How are you doing? Do you take the time? Do you give the gift of listening to others? Take this
short quiz
to determine whether you have any of the
most common negative listening habits.
Everyone who knows me will tell you that I'm a talker. It's one of my strengths, AND can become a blind spot if I don't manage myself! Over the years, I've tried to balance out my strength by training myself to become a better listener. The people in my life who REALLY listen to me, have served as great role models.
If you recognize the need to improve in this skill - FIRST, remember how that great listener in your life impacted you and CHOOSE to do the same for others.
NEXT, train yourself to
Reflect
(share what you're hearing and seeing),
Probe
(ask questions) and
Support
(express your understanding of what they shared) BEFORE you ever share advice, try to persuade or change the subject.
Here's a
5 minute audio example of this simple
R.P.S.A.
Listening formula in a real-life work example. Learn about the six beliefs of great listeners and go deeper into the leadership skill of listening aggressively in this
podcast episode.
Try listening more at work and at home this Holiday Season. Be the person who gives love to everyone you meet, by listening.
“The first duty of love is to listen.”
Paul Tillich
