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We often meet people who feel guilty when taking the first step to call Visiting Angels for a caregiver referral. But we usually find the morality of this decision lies in the intention. In almost all cases, the intention comes from a place of love for all involved.
Senior care impacts the whole family; and the National Center on Caregiving says “most caregivers are ill-prepared for their role… yet more than one-third of caregivers continue to provide intense care to others while suffering from poor health themselves.”
As always in life, asking for help and support is OK and can bring the best results.
Are You Being Realistic?
Let’s be real for a second. If your loved one requires care to get through the day or week, then they likely suffer from a progressive condition. Whether it’s dementia, limited mobility or any other condition, their inability to manage life alone will likely remain and potentially worsen.
Realistically, can you see yourself taking more and more caregiving demands over time? It is always better to ask for help before the breaking point; no one wants to see you go hit a wall of anxiety, fatigue and stress.
Tip: Senior home care comes in all shapes and sizes. You can ask for as little or as much as you want; from flexible respite care to 24/7 live-in care.
You Can Improve the Quality of Care
Should you feel guilty for looking to improve the level of care your loved one receives? No. Turning to an in-home caregiver is not just about reducing the load placed on you, it’s also about improving the level of care.
With fewer demands on you, there is less chance of accidents from caregiver burnout or anxiety and stress in the household (which is particularly important in dementia)
You will also be hiring a professional Caregiver who is compassionate, experienced & trained in this role. Your loved one can benefit from specialists in palliative care or dementia, for example. But it’s also the areas of daily life that see improvements. Daily walks, meal times and chores no longer become something that has to be squeezed into the family caregiver’s tight schedule.
You Need to Take Care of Yourself Too
There is no reason to feel guilty for taking care of yourself too. 40% to 70% of family caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression. And 25% report a decline in their health when suffering burnout.
If you’re asking for a senior home care referral then you are not giving up on your loved one, you’re looking for help. These are very different things. By taking care of yourself, you can prevent issues in your own life, such as in your career or your mental health. Anxiety and stress are serious conditions that should not be overlooked just because they can be hidden.
You Need to Take Care of Your Family
23% of Americans are part of the ‘sandwich generation’, a term for people raising a child while also caring for their parents. If you’re one of them, then you’re not alone in struggling to manage the two caregiving roles.
We believe there should be no guilt in thinking about the benefits some extra support could provide your kids. Your time with them is precious and their needs shouldn’t be neglected. Taking steps to improve that is a bold move, not a shameful one.
We also meet a lot of couples who have seen their relationships wobble due to caregiving. Sadly many people think romantic time such as date nights or even just time on the sofa at home is a luxury. If it can improve the life of you and your partner, it is as valuable a time as any other.
Read Related: How People are Caring for Loved Ones from Afar
You Can Increase Quality Time with Your Loved One
One benefit of hiring an in-home caregiver that can surprise people is the improvement of quality time. Those hours you spend with Mom or Dad may be filled with tiring, stressful and tedious chores.
Why should there be guilt in wanting to visit Mom and Dad for quality time? Imagine you visit and you can sit down and chat, without worrying about cooking them a meal, taking care of laundry or attending to their needs. It can bring back independence and restore the parent/child relationship you both once loved.
Of course, caregiving can be a part of your love language. And there’s nothing wrong with that too. But an in-home caregiver can allow you to find a balance.
You Can Access Specialist Palliative Care
Finally, perhaps one area that you truly shouldn’t feel guilty about hiring a caregiver for is ‘Palliative Care’.
This is the type of in-home care provided for those with serious illnesses. You are likely not a doctor or a palliative care specialist. You shouldn’t feel bad for taking on these expert roles.
But a professional can help your loved one find as much comfort as possible in their illness, while you can relax knowing they are in the best hands.
How to Manage Feelings of Guilt when Hiring a Senior Home Caregiver
- Don’t be hard on yourself, these feelings are normal. It means you care and you care about how your loved one may feel.
- The thing you can do is to remind yourself that you’re taking steps to ensure the best quality of care. You’re avoiding your loved one going to a nursing home, after all.
- We remind you to remember the severity of caregiver burnout and the impact it can have on all around you, including your loved one.
- Try to learn to recognize the difference between irrational guilt and feelings of whether you’re showing care in a new way.
- Remember to let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on the benefits for all.
- We welcome you to contact us today if you have any questions or would like to meet a caregiver to understand their role better.
Contact Us for a Caregiver Referral to Senior Home Care Services in Tampa, FL, Pasco County and North Pinellas County
If you need professional senior home care, contact Visiting Angels today to arrange a referral of a professional caregiver to provide Senior Home Care in the Tampa Bay area including the surrounding counties.
Whether you're ready to get started or would like to learn more, we'll be happy to have a conversation with you or your loved one.
You can call us at 813-909-2550 or 727-841-8440 Today for Hillsborough, Pasco & North Pinellas areas - Available 24/7 to talk with a Local Visiting Angels Representative.
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