Written by social justice comedian Sam Killermann, this is an adaptation of an article originally posted at ItsPronouncedMetrosexual.com

Gender is one of those things everyone thinks they understand, but most people don't. Gender isn't binary. It's not either/or. In many cases it's both/and. Each of the four elements (above) are on a continuum. Gender identity, gender expression, biological sex and sexual orientation/attraction exist independent of one another. Under each explanation below, you will also see the continuum for each element. Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. Everyone deserves acceptance, respect, and love!

Biological sex is the typically based on external genitalia present at birth: male, female, intersex (born with both male and female genitalia). We use this identification to decide if a baby is a girl or a boy.

Anatomical sex is the physical traits that determine if you are a boy or a girl. For the majority of us, our anatomical sex is the same as our biological sex. For those who identify as transgender, they may choose to change their anatomical sex.

Gender Identity is how you, in your head, experience and define your gender. Do you FEEL like you are a girl or a boy? Or do you feel like a girl sometimes and like a boy at other times? Or do you feel that you are neither a boy or a girl (gender neutral). For many of us, our gender identity and biological sex correlate with one another. Transgender is the term used for those whose biological sex doesn't not match their gender identity. More than 8,000 Kentucky youth between the ages of 10 - 19 years old identify as transgender.

According to the 2020 US Census Bureau, Kentucky has approximately 589,564 between the ages of 10 - 19 year olds (https://data.census.gov/profile?g=040XX00US21). UCLA's School of Law Williams Institute research shows that "among youth ages 13 to 17 in the U.S., 1.4% (about 300,000 youth) identify as transgender" (https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/transgender-estimate-press-release/). 

• Trans man or boy – A person assigned female at birth who identifies as a man or more masculine.
• Trans woman or girl – A person assigned male at birth who identifies as a female or more feminine.
• Nonbinary – A person who doesn’t describe their gender identity exclusively as a man or a woman.
• 

https://www.healthpartners.com/blog/mental-health-in-the-transgender-community/

Gender expression is all about how you demonstrate gender through the ways you act, dress, behave, and interact—whether that is intentional or unintended. Gender expression is interpreted by others based on traditional gender norms (e.g., men wear pants; women wear dresses). Gender expression is something that often changes from day to day, outfit to outfit, and event or setting to event or setting. It’s about how the way you express yourself aligns or doesn’t with traditional ways of gendered expression, and can be motivated by your gender identity, sexuality, or something else completely.

Sexual attraction can be thought of as the want, need, or desire for physical sexual contact and relationships. 

Romantic attraction is an affinity and love for others and the desire for emotional relationships.

Many Americans refrain from talking about sexual orientation and gender identity or expression because it feels taboo, or because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. This glossary was written to help give people the words and meanings to help make conversations easier and more comfortable. LGBTQ+ people use a variety of terms to identify themselves, not all of which are included in this glossary. Always listen for and respect a person’s self identified terminology.

Ally | A term used to describe someone who is actively supportive of LGBTQ+ people. It encompasses straight and cisgender allies, as well as those within the LGBTQ+ community who support each other (e.g., a lesbian who is an ally to the bisexual community).

Asexual | Often called “ace” for short, asexual refers to a complete or partial lack of sexual attraction or lack of interest in sexual activity with others. Asexuality exists on a spectrum, and asexual people may experience no, little or conditional sexual attraction.

Biphobia | The fear and hatred of, or discomfort with, people who love and are sexually attracted to more than one gender.

Bisexual | A person emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to more than one sex, gender or gender identity though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree. Sometimes used interchangeably with pansexual.

Cisgender | A term used to describe a person whose gender identity aligns with those typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth.

Coming Out | The process in which a person first acknowledges, accepts and appreciates their sexual orientation or gender identity and begins to share that with others

Gay | A person who is emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to members of the same gender. Men, women and non-binary people may use this term to describe themselves.

Gender identity | One’s innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One's gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.

Gender non-conforming | A broad term referring to people who do not behave in a way that conforms to the traditional expectations of their gender, or whose gender expression does not fit neatly into a category. While many also identify as transgender, not all gender non-conforming people do.

Genderqueer | Genderqueer people typically reject notions of static categories of gender and embrace a fluidity of gender identity and often, though not always, sexual orientation. People who identify as "genderqueer" may see themselves as being both male and female, neither male nor female or as falling completely outside these categories.

Homophobia | The fear and hatred of or discomfort with people who are attracted to members of the same sex.

Intersex | Intersex people are born with a variety of differences in their sex traits and reproductive anatomy. There is a wide variety of difference among intersex variations, including differences in genitalia, chromosomes, gonads, internal sex organs, hormone production, hormone response, and/or secondary sex traits.

Gender binary | A system in which gender is constructed into two strict categories of male or female. Gender identity is expected to align with the sex assigned at birth and gender expressions and roles fit traditional expectations.

Gender dysphoria | Clinically significant distress caused when a person's assigned birth gender is not the same as the one with which they identify.

Gender-expansive | A person with a wider, more flexible range of gender identity and/or expression than typically associated with the binary gender system. Often used as an umbrella term when referring to young people still exploring the possibilities of their gender expression and/or gender identity.

Gender expression | External appearance of one's gender identity, usually expressed through behavior, clothing, body characteristics or voice, and which may or may not conform to socially defined behaviors and characteristics typically associated with being either masculine or feminine.

Gender-fluid | A person who does not identify with a single fixed gender or has a fluid or unfixed gender identity.

Lesbian | A woman who is emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to other women. Women and non-binary people may use this term to describe themselves.

LGBTQ+ | An acronym for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer” with a "+" sign to recognize the limitless sexual orientations and gender identities used by members of our community.

Non-binary | An adjective describing a person who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman. Non-binary people may identify as being both a man and a woman, somewhere in between, or as falling completely outside these categories. While many also identify as transgender, not all non-binary people do. Non-binary can also be used as an umbrella term encompassing identities such as agender, bigender, genderqueer or gender-fluid.

Outing | Exposing someone’s lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender or gender non-binary identity to others without their permission. Outing someone can have serious repercussions on employment, economic stability, personal safety or religious or family situations.

Pansexual | Describes someone who has the potential for emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree. Sometimes used interchangeably with bisexual.

Queer | A term people often use to express a spectrum of identities and orientations that are counter to the mainstream. Queer is often used as a catch-all to include many people, including those who do not identify as exclusively straight and/or folks who have non-binary or gender-expansive identities. This term was previously used as a slur, but has been reclaimed by many parts of the LGBTQ+ movement.

Questioning | A term used to describe people who are in the process of exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Same-gender loving | A term some prefer to use instead of lesbian, gay or bisexual to express attraction to and love of people of the same gender.

Sex assigned at birth | The sex, male, female or intersex, that a doctor or midwife uses to describe a child at birth based on their external anatomy.

Sexual orientation | An inherent or immutable enduring emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to other people. Note: an individual’s sexual orientation is independent of their gender identity.

Transgender | An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression is different from cultural expectations based on the sex they were assigned at birth. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation. Therefore, transgender people may identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.

Transitioning | A series of processes that some transgender people may undergo in order to live more fully as their true gender. This typically includes social transition, such as changing name and pronouns, medical transition, which may include hormone therapy or gender affirming surgeries, and legal transition, which may include changing legal name and sex on government identity documents. Transgender people may choose to undergo some, all or none of these processes.

From: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms

The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health demonstrates that rates of suicidal thoughts have trended upward among LGBTQ young people over the last three years, making our life-saving work all the more important. Capturing the experiences of nearly 34,000 LGBTQ youth ages 13 to 24 across the United States, with 45% of respondents being LGBTQ youth of color and 48% being transgender or nonbinary, our fourth annual national survey is one of the most diverse surveys of LGBTQ youth ever conducted.

These data provide critical insights into some of the unique suicide risk factors faced by LGBTQ youth, top barriers to mental health care, and the negative impacts of COVID-19 and relentless anti-transgender legislation. This research also highlights several ways in which we can all support the LGBTQ young people in our lives—and help prevent suicide.

Dr. Myeshia Price, senior research scientist at The Trevor Project, shared, “As the very existence of LGBTQ youth continues being debated publicly and regularly — both by lawmakers and across media — it’s imperative we highlight the impacts that trauma-inducing experiences such as discrimination, harassment, and violence can have on the mental health of LGBTQ young people.”

LGBTQ youth are not inherently prone to suicide risk because of their sexual orientation or gender identity but rather placed at higher risk because of how they are mistreated and stigmatized in society.

Trevor Project's national survey data on transgender:

• Up to 79% of trans kids experience anxiety,
• Up to 69% of trans youth experience symptoms of depression,
• More than 50% transgender youth considered suicide in 2021, and Nearly 20% attempted suicide

When a person begins to live according to their gender identity, rather than the gender they were thought to be when they were born, this time period is called gender transition. Deciding to transition can take a lot of reflection. Many transgender people risk social stigma, discrimination, and harassment when they tell other people who they really are. Despite those risks, being open about one’s gender identity can be life-affirming and even life-saving.

Possible steps in a gender transition may or may not include changing your clothing, appearance, name, or the pronoun people use to refer to you (like “she,” “he,” or “they”). If they can, some people change their identification documents, like their driver’s license or passport, to better reflect their gender. And some people undergo hormone therapy or other medical procedures to change their physical characteristics and make their body match the gender they know themselves to be. All transgender people are entitled to the same dignity and respect, regardless of whether or not they have been able to take any legal or medical steps.

Some transgender people identify as neither a man nor a woman, or as a combination of male and female, and may use terms like nonbinary or genderqueer to describe their gender identity. Those who are nonbinary often prefer to be referred to as “they” and “them.”

• Demonstrate unconditional love
• Accept and support him/her/them
• Educate family members, friends, etc. on how to show acceptance
• Ask your child questions so you can better understand how they are feeling and what they are going through
• If needed for you or your child, seek mental health counseling and/or peer support services
• Identify role models for your child
• Help your child identify strategies for preventing, or handling, bullying and/or physical agression from others
• Advocate for your child and teach your child how to advocate for themselves

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