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While a large fraction of the McGovern body will gather and smile this holiday season, many of us will find ourselves in situations we’d prefer not to be in. This could be for many reasons—finances, the societal expectation to gather around other people, or keeping the peace.
Peace. Such an interesting concept.
Growing up, many of us thought that peace is the absence of problems. This idea quickly turns sour and leaves many of us feeling alienated from the greener grass on the other side. We think that something must be wrong with us because we are facing problems. How problematic!
Let us change our perspective a little and adopt a more realistic definition of peace—one that feeds on an internal locus of control.
Peace is not out of our control. Peace is something inward that we either keep safe or take back and can only be taken away if we allow it to be. Peace is also something we can hold onto in the presence of problems—not their absence.
With that being said, we wanted to provide a few tips on how to protect your peace this holiday season as you navigate stressful situations, commitments, and even people.
1. For those grieving, with empty chairs this holiday season—be kind to yourself. Allow your love to persevere and ride the wave of grief as it comes. It is normal to miss a loved one, so do not feel as though sadness at their absence is in ‘poor holiday spirit’. You wish they were with you. And that’s more than okay.
2. For those with tense family gatherings—prioritize for yourself and commit to doing so. Each day has 24 hours. Maybe 3 of those will be spent in tense situations. Much like an exam, we spend much of our time and mental energy prepping for a short test. We suggest padding uncomfortable situations with things you look forward to. For instance, if you can hang out with friends before and after being in the company of a rather toxic family member, do so. Take a walk, watch a TV show, and schedule it in your calendar as a date you cannot miss—because it is.
3. For those alone—not by choice—get creative! Out of adversity can come creativity. Explore the city safely, read a good book, or even volunteer. Studies show that we spend most of our lives by ourselves—so find ways to remind yourself that you are still in good company.
The holidays are great for many, and yet still for others they are quite painful. But take heart, dear students. Hard, painful, and even uncomfortable times will pass—maybe like a kidney stone, but they will pass, nonetheless.
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