Vol VI, No 8 - August 20, 2024

Though it still feels like (and technically still is) summer, many schools are back in session and families are undergoing the transition from summer to fall. For some homeschoolers, this may look like zero change. They may still be doing math up in a tree, in pajamas on the floor, or in the woodworking shop. Yet, late bedtimes and loose schedules are fading for many families as they take on fall classes and activities with set schedules. Crossing the bridge from one season to the next may be smooth and effortless or it may be a bit of a bumpy ride. Personally, I would like to spend a couple more weeks on 'lake time.'

This month we feature the first in a series of articles by parents and caregivers of G/2e homeschoolers who have experienced transitions of a different kind. Katrina O'Neil writes about her personal journey of learning about her kids' twice exceptionality, struggling to find the right resources and educational fits for them, and finally coming into her own as a homeschooling parent and advocate for G/2e children and their families. She aims to build bridges of understanding between the homeschooling community and those who come from more traditional schooling backgrounds, particularly her native Russophone community, and the high-tech professional community. Katrina is a member of all three groups and a doctoral student at Bridges Graduate School. Read below for her eloquent description of her "transcendental changes" and her desire to help other parents on their journeys.

Next, check out our first-ever cartoon by Sydney Milbert, a lead teacher and a parent-teacher mentor in our GHF Virtual Co-op.

Finally, enjoy a recap of the meet-up luncheon that Dr. Heidi Lack hosted for GHF during the SENG conference last month. Reading it, you can't help wishing you were there. If you would like to connect with Heidi and other GHF members on a regular basis, you can check out the online GHF Gifted Professionals Group that Heidi facilitates for paid Forum members each Friday at 11am PST.

Thank you to all of our wonderful, dedicated volunteers for making this a great organization. Thank you to our writers for inspiring us. This uplifting issue makes it much easier for me to bridge out of summer and over to fall. I can almost taste the pumpkin pancakes and apple cider and hear the squeak of the basketball shoes on the court. Almost...

-Marna

Marna Walthall Wohlfeld is a mom of four, a former non-profit director and journalist, and now a doctoral student at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education. She has deschooled, unschooled, and homeschooled various kids at various stages. She loves learning about and championing kids' unique brains and learning styles. She hopes to use her graduate degree to support parents and caregivers of twice-exceptional children as they move through the journey of parenting their wonderfully complex kids. She also hopes to advocate for 2e students by creating greater understanding about the need for strength-based approaches and support for vulnerable nervous systems in education and life. Marna is a trained SENG facilitator. She has presented at NAGC and WCGTC and has written for 2e News.

My Journey: Building Bridges

First in a Series by Parents and Caregivers of G/2e Homeschoolers

By Katrina O'Neil

I owe everything that I learned about neurodiversity and all the transcendental changes that I have experienced in my views to my children: two amazing individuals with unique strengths and challenges. A tech professional born and raised in the former Soviet Union where the topics of giftedness, neurodiversity, twice-exceptionality, and learning differences were never discussed, I was thoroughly unprepared for the challenges my family faced. Having gone through the rigid public school system in a society with a closed-minded mentality, I was torn between following the rules of my upbringing and accepting alternative attitudes towards parenting and life in general.

Though in hindsight my journey began from the day my kids arrived into this world or maybe even earlier (the more I learn about twice-exceptionality, the more I see it in myself and other family members) I treat the first day of my son’s first grade as the beginning of my neurodiversity advocacy journey. The almost daily bombardment of messages from his school teacher that emphasized his lack of compliance, inability to transition from one task to the next, and generally unacceptable behavior stunned and unnerved me. I could not accept that these statements were about my son, my intelligent, curious, and kind kid that I had gotten to know in the past several years. I was confused by the contrast in how I viewed him and how school personnel perceived him, and this confusion became the source of major stress. I desperately searched for answers in the hopes of understanding what I was missing, what I was doing wrong, and what to do about it.

After weeks of frantic Google searches, I serendipitously came across a web page with a list of characteristics of children who are twice-exceptional (a term completely unknown to me then) and realized – this is it, this is what I was looking for. The seemingly disparate traits I have experienced with my baby, toddler, and kindergartener – from sleep difficulties, food sensitivities, and high energy to hyperfocus, highly advanced vocabulary, and an insatiable thirst for knowledge – finally made sense.

What followed was a rollercoaster of assessments, evaluations, therapies, studies, diagnoses, reports, IEP meetings, services, frustration, anxiety, and doubt. I’ve experienced what I call the five stages of diagnosis grief, starting from denial (this must be a mistake), anger (no one understands what we are dealing with), bargaining (if only we can do this one other type of therapy, he will be ok), depression (nothing works), and finally…after many years…acceptance. 

It felt lonely and isolating. I longed for a community. I longed for belonging. I longed for my people. I searched for them in the Russophone, science enthused, special needs, gifted, profoundly gifted, and homeschooling circles. As I searched and researched, I realized that our society and school system are unaware of how to support my kind of kid. I learned that when kids act out, they are actually trying to communicate their discomforts to adults, and most of the time we fail to understand their language. I came to understand that in Ross Greene’s famous words, “Kids do well if they can.” I had epiphanies about the meaning of learning versus education, the definition of happiness versus success, and the value of being versus doing.

In an effort to expand my neurodiversity advocacy beyond just one family – my own – I have now devoted myself to building bridges between the education community that has done so much research in giftedness, neurodiversity, twice-exceptionality, and learning differences and three other communities I am a part of – parenting, Russophone, and tech. Through my writing, speaking at conferences, and conducting research, I hope to spread awareness and acceptance of neurodivergent individuals at home, at school, and in the workplace.

Yekaterina (Katrina) O’Neil is a homeschooling mom by day, a doctoral student by night, and a software security researcher by trade. The mom to two 2e kids in middle and high school, she began homeschooling them after public school turned out not to be a fit. To understand and support her kids better, Katrina is pursuing a Doctoral Degree at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education, while attempting to juggle a career in cybersecurity at the same time. She is passionate about neurodiversity and hopes to spread awareness and acceptance of neurodivergent individuals at home, at school, and in the workplace. She holds a B.S. and M.S. in Computer Science & Engineering from UC San Diego.

Cartoon

Sydney Miller Milbert, M.S. is a creative and innovative educator who is passionate about serving gifted learners. Sydney has taught elementary and middle school students for over 8 years through in-person and online classes. While homeschooling her own gifted children, she completed a graduate program and earned a Master of Science in Gifted Special Education in 2024. In addition, she holds undergraduate degrees in marketing and design. Sydney has also recently earned certificates in the Science of Motivation, Affective Needs and Motivation for 2e Students, and Executive Functioning for Twice-Exceptional Students. 

Sydney serves on the all-volunteer Board of Directors of The Organization of Virginia Homeschoolers, and she is a member of the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) and Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG). Sydney is also a member of the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum (GHF) Virtual Co-op where she serves as a volunteer lead teacher and parent-teacher mentor.

Visit Sydney’s website: www.mylampyridae.com.

Connect with Sydney on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sydney-m-a530134/

GHF at SENG

GHF Luncheon at SENG

by Dr. Heidi Lack

SENG (Social Emotional Needs of the Gifted) annual conference, held in Berkeley, CA last month was a welcoming, vibrant bustle of old and new friends in the gifted and 2e community. GHF was well represented by homeschooling families as well as many professionals from the Friday Professional Discussion Group, such as Austina De Bonte of “Smart is not Easy” consulting, Michelle Barmazel, co-president of MAGE (MA Assn. of Gifted Ed.), Deniz Baloglu of “Navigator of Giftedness”, and myself (GHF, MAGE, private consultation/clinical practice). Years of chatting weekly on Zoom made us instant friends despite some of us meeting in person for the first time. We dove into sharing professional insights, and supporting our professional, personal, and family lives, understandably peppered with gifted parenting joys and challenges. 

As a facilitator of the GHF Professional Discussion Group, I hosted a lunchtime meet and greet gathering for anyone interested in learning more about GHF in general or the Professional Discussion Group in particular. We convened outdoors in the most gorgeous setting, a convergence of the clear, pest-free cool breeze wafting off the marina waters, the warm midday sun, and shimmering bay waters buoying a myriad of colored sailboats. The food accommodated the many dietary restrictions prevalent in our G/2e community. What a wonderful setting to regroup and replenish. Thirteen professionals and parents/professionals from across the US, from up and down the Californian coast to Boston, and as far as Switzerland and the Netherlands joined us. They introduced themselves to one another, then launched immediately into group and dyadic discussion, sharing insights and chatting until we were pulled away by the scheduled afternoon keynote speaker Dr. Frank Werrell of U Cal. Berkeley.  

A few conversational themes emerged: exciting launches of new careers like coaching, blogging, and resource provision in the gifted field; juggling our own multipotentialities, and those of our clients; parenting and/or homeschooling our own gifted children; and the woes of advocating for our gifted people at the state and local levels.

We had the pleasure of welcoming at our table Paula Prober, of the Rainforest Mind, one of the Keynotes speakers at the conference and a GHF Press author. She had delivered an entertaining and inviting session the day prior- welcoming us to turn our compassion and understanding inward by reflecting on our own gifted journeys and identities. It was poignant -- the intensity and release resulted in many a tear and choked-up throat.  

New yet deep connections were made across fields and geography. We look forward to welcoming many new members to GHF and the weekly professional group as we continue to strive to support our vibrant gifted and 2/3e community from multiple angles.

Heidi Lack, Ph.D. ATR-BC, HSP is a seasoned Clinical Psychologist and board-certified registered Art Therapist, with varied training, work, and supervisory experience in Behavioral Medicine, Harvard Medical School, Dept. of Psychiatry; as a Senior clinician at the Hallowell Centers; as adjunct faculty at Lesley University; currently in private clinical, coaching and consultation practice. She helps adults, college-aged and some teens, families, parents and elders juggling the joys and challenges of their neurodivergences stemming from their giftedness and multi exceptionalities, anxieties, attentional and executive functioning issues, social thinking, and sensory processing differences such as Misophonia. She facilitates "Intentional Parenting^TM" support groups, SoulCollage^® and ethical values character trait-based workshops, is trained as a SENG SMPG/SCG parent group facilitator, facilitates the GHF Professionals Networking group, is a Dialogues author, is currently in partnership with Dr. Gail Post to offer the Gifted Parenting Journey Workshop series, and sits on the MAGE (Massachusetts Association for Gifted Education) Board of Directors. She is also a multimedia artist, intermittent writer/poet, and parent whose multiexceptional young adults required creative schooling variations.  

See https://drheidilack.com, HL@DrHeidiLack.com or https://www.thegiftedparentingjourney.com

GHF Press Featured Title

Parents today lead busy lives and it’s difficult to “get it all done.” Gayle and Lin have created a guide encouraging parents to strengthen their connection with their youngsters using shared reading time. This book provides a selection of carefully curated picture books that can be used by parents to address important issues with their children, such as worry, perfectionism, and managing “big feelings.” Gayle and Lin also provide expert advice to gently guide parent-child conversations using simple, science-backed methods, including ways to help your child develop empathy, self-regulation, and self-acceptance. All of this is artfully accomplished as the authors share both research-based strategies and their own parenting experiences to bring out the very best in children using a strength-based approach.

Purchase Using Picture Books to Help Little Ones Learn About Themselves here.