The Six Steps to Overcome the Dwindle Effect
You made a commitment to walk every evening after work, but you can't remember the last time you did. Work is so stressful, you've decided it's a bad time to quit smoking. Or your New Year's resolution not to drink during the week has been long forgotten. No matter how strong your intentions were in the beginning, life's inevitable challenges flare up and make it oh-so-easy to slip back into your old habit. Welcome to the DWINDLE EFFECT.
So what happened? You were on a roll there for a while with the yoga classes! Well, emotions came up (about you, your weight, your relationship, whatever) and you didn't handle the sadness, anger, or fear physically and constructively. Instead, you went into survival mode and reverted back to the familiar habit that you swore you were going to change.
How can we fight the dwindle effect? Making a long-term change in life isn't rocket science. To actualize your goals and good intentions, do these six things:
1. At those crucial moments when you're justifying not following through with the new behavior --- make a new choice! Stomp, shiver, or cry to deal with your anger, fear, or sadness. Find a safe place and do it with abandon for just three minutes! Your unexpressed emotions are clouding your ability to choose anything new. I know that sounds radical, but it's not. Emote and then remember your goal (see number #2).
2. Get clear why you are going to change. Write it down if that's helpful, because it's easy to forget. Remember your goal often but especially at times when it's easy to get "lazy" and revert to your old habit. Make sure your goal resonates with what's true for you. You're making this change for you.
3. With awareness, changing old habits IS possible and sustainable. Locate your self-sabotaging thoughts and find contradictions that support you. Remind yourself of the reality when you start to waiver. "I hate looking like this. I want to be more fit. I'm doing this for me."
4. Make sure the change you desire is doable, specific, and reasonable. Little steps. Maybe you can't become a gym rat five days a week but you could catch one class two mornings fairly easily.
5. Get a buddy who also wants to make a change and establish a regular daily, weekly, or in between check-in for support and accountability. Initiate and contact him or her at the appointed time, no matter what. Each person gets two to five minutes of listening (set your own reasonable amount of time). The first one talks of victories and breakdown, and the next specific steps he or she needs to take between now and the next check-in, and finally appreciates themselves. Then switch and listen while the other person talks about how they are doing with their new behavior.
6. When you stumble and make a choice for the old habit, don't give up your good intentions. It really IS okay. Get up and start again fresh tomorrow. It's a brand new day.
