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It was the first week of summer break, and we found ourselves knocking things off our ever-growing to-do list. As always, Jared’s Spotify was playing in the background. He paused and looked at Jen as the song played.
When you don’t know where you’re going, just stand still. Soon enough, you will.
“I don’t think I know how to just stand still.”
What followed was a deep conversation about how, in the helping profession, we very rarely find the time to stand still. Too often in our daily work, there are problems that need immediate solutions (or so we think). If we are lucky enough to have time off in the summer, it often feels like a brief reprieve. For us, summer should (in theory) be a time to collect ourselves, restore, relax, and rejuvenate for another year of supporting students.
Too often, summer flies by, and we find ourselves entering another cycle of helping others with limited fuel in our tanks.
In the fast-paced and demanding world of helping others, it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters.
For us, values are at the center of our work. We work with high school students and counselors to identify values and see how they connect to the colleges where students can thrive. With adults, we help them clarify what is most important to them so they can find a life and career that is aligned. For organizations, we help them name their core values and build a culture around those values.
It may sound simple, but there is power in the transformative act of identifying our personal values and working to build a life and career that aligns with them.
We recommend a simple values card sort as your starting point. Work to discover your top five values and put them in order of importance. Then, ask yourself the following questions:
- If my values had a voice, what would they say about the life I am currently leading? Would they express pride and joy, or would they whisper words of disappointment?
- If my values were my compass, would I say I am confidently navigating toward my true north, or am I lost, unsure of my direction?
- Does my current career path truly align with my core values? If not, what changes can I make to bridge the gap and find greater meaning and purpose in my professional life?
- Do the people I surround myself with personally and professionally share and uplift my values? Are these relationships nurturing my growth and helping me live a more authentic life? Or do they hold me back in some way?
- Does the organizational culture of my workplace align with my values? Do I feel a sense of belonging and purpose in this environment, or is there a conflict between my values and the values of the organization? What role can I play as a change agent in my workplace?
Once we have identified our values and reflected on how they manifest in our lives, we must consider what changes we want to make and what boundaries we might need to set to uphold them. As helpers, it can be easy to allow the needs of others to overshadow your own needs. There is a culture surrounding us, telling us that we need to work harder and do more. To raise the white flag can feel like a sign of weakness. It’s not. After all, shouldn’t we model to those that we serve that we should care for ourselves?
Whether you have this summer off or your work is ramping up, we ask that you spend a few moments simply standing still. To be kind and good to others, we first have to be kind and good to ourselves. Here are some suggestions, rooted in our top five organizational values, to help you find time this summer to be kind and good to yourself:
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Activism: Advocacy begins at home, with yourself. This summer, practice self-advocacy by setting clear boundaries at work and in your personal life. Learn to say "no" to requests that drain your energy or compromise your values.
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Creativity: This summer, give yourself permission to play. Embrace your inner child and engage in activities that spark joy and wonder. Build a sandcastle on the beach, fly a kite in the park, or simply color in a coloring book.
- Self-Expression: Create your own personal soundtrack for the summer. Craft a playlist that reflects your authentic self. Sing along at the top of your lungs, dance like no one is watching, or simply close your eyes and listen. Save it for those tough days when you need a pick-me-up.
- Support: Think about those you call upon when things get tough. Who are the mentors, friends, and family who feed your soul? How can you connect with those people in meaningful ways that bring you joy?
- Wellness: Embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-care this summer. Dedicate a day, a weekend, or even a week to exploring wellness practices that resonate with your unique needs and values. Find things that are sustainable to carry into your life this fall.
Our hope is that you simply find time to just stand still this summer and connect deeply with the things you value the most.
Jared Epler & Jen Vallieres
Public High School Counselors &
Co-Founders of Eudaemonia Counseling & Consulting & Forget the Rankings: The Values-Driven College Search
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