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Dear Flylady,
I have had an avalanche of Aha moments since yesterday. After many years I thought I was finally fluttering and almost "there".
Then we had a trip this summer and my daughter's Bat Mitzvah and I felt all my routines falling apart. I have managed to babystep my way through planning the trip and the party. But the house fell apart. And all my self care routines went out the door first.
Yesterday it hit me that I am disheartened because I am still being a perfectionist. I read what to do at the swish and swipe and it was simple. I was adding to it polishing mirrors, wiping all sides of the toilet seat and bowl down to the floor and running a wet rug on the floor. No wonder it felt like more than 2 minutes worth of work.
If a skipped a few days of missions I marathon cleaned to catch up.
When I read yesterday how we can always start now and what you do if you start your day at 2pm I realized how hard I've been on myself, beating me up. And worse, on my kids because my perfectionist expectations were also for them. And I might have used house work as punishment a few times(hangs head in shame).
I have even bought special home shoes that I barely wear. And today I walked out to the car to get my toddler's favorite toy cars that he left there. I tripped in my slippers and fell hard on the concrete steps hurting my knee and chest badly. I am always in too much of a rush to put on shoes. So now I am stranded on the couch to rest my knee wasting so much more time because of my excuses . I hope this lesson stays a while with me.
Thank you for your wonderful insights and encouragement.
Olga in Toronto
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