“Argue for your limitations and they become you”
---Richard Bach
Frequently clients come to coaching because they feel stuck. Stuck is a term often used to describe the psychological and behavioral patterns associated with feeling trapped or unable to progress in one's life. While not formally a scientific term, it shares various concepts within psychology and related fields that explore why individuals feel trapped and how they build strategies to overcome inaction.
Anyone who has felt stuck knows how uncomfortable this situation feels. And yet, we must ask ourselves if there are any benefits to remaining stuck. Britt Frank in “The Science of Stuck” shares nine benefits of staying stuck.
Energy conservation. Believe it or not, our brains try to conserve energy through habits. Once a habit is formed, the brain can execute it with minimal conscious effort, thereby conserving energy that would otherwise be required for decision-making and conscious processing.
Image preservation. Image preservation involves managing how one is perceived by others. There is also an element of risk management that is associated with image preservation. Moving forward and not achieving success can lead others to view the individual differently. Think about the successful people you read about all the time in social media. One failure determines how they are seen overall rather than as a one-time event.
Included often in image preservation is the fear of failure. This can paralyze individuals and prevent them from taking risks or pursuing goals that could lead to personal growth and fulfillment. Fear of failure is often intertwined with what others will think.
Control. Dr. Frank also shares that by keeping ideas and thoughts safely in our heads, we have control over them. However, when keeping ideas and thoughts safely in our heads primarily to protect and preserve action, maintain privacy, and safeguard sensitive information we lose out on opportunities for growth. Yet, control does keep us safe because we set the limitations and those limitations become us.
Familiarity. We resonate with that which is familiar. Familiarity can be found in routines, environments, people, and even in certain emotions or experiences. Gay Hendricks in “The Big Leap”, argues that many individuals remain stuck in their "Zone of Excellence" or "Zone of Competence," where they are proficient but not truly fulfilled.
Financial Security. Taking financial risks, such as starting a new business or changing jobs or roles, can be intimidating. Staying in a familiar situation, even if it is not ideal, can feel safer than risking financial instability by pursuing something new. And of course, the question to be answered is what if it does not work out? What if it does???
Relationship Equilibrium. There is no question that when one changes, relationships change. Overall, how change impacts a relationship depends on various factors, including the nature of the change, the resilience of the individuals involved, and the quality of communication and support within the relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to adapt are key factors in successfully navigating change in relationships.
Please join us on May 1 at 11 AM EST for a webinar on the topic of “Getting Unstuck”. We will be discussing strategies for helping clients move forward with personal growth and change. https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89476852391
