You know, there are lots of new concepts in the lexicon of life. Double-dipping, “awesomesauce” (not available in Nando’s) and I don’t know about you but I still struggle with the concept of avocados – the Martian-like foodstuff that invaded our planet some time in the 1970s and has lived amongst us ever since.

The new term “ghosting” is now haunting (did you see what I did there?) our awareness. It’s the passive aggressive dropping off in communication, without explanation when a relationship or friendship isn’t of use any more. In other words just being bloody rude with a side order of cowardice.

Then we have gaslighting for which a quick Google search revealed “to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity”. Sounds like there are some real dastardly dastards out there looking to reduce and wreck the lives of those who cross their path.

Let’s leave the players to play at their own game. But what if you are the perp?



The stalker menacing your every step, the creep who crushes your dreams and keeps you small and what if the serial offender you are nourishing a co-dependent abusive relationship with is none other than (spoiler alert) – YOU?!

Gaslighting and ghosting – leaving yourself mad and in the dark

If you tick more than a few of these 10 points you need to either turn yourself in to the local authorities or get a coach. (book a free 30 minutes here).

Check out these bad guys. Is the bully you?

• Reducing – dragging up mistakes you’ve made in the past as evidence that you are not good enough
• Ignoring – the fact that you have done countless amazing, brave and wonderful things but in your mind they just “don’t count”
• Fear – always feel as though something bad will happen, failure will be fatal and that you will never be able to get what you want
• Victim – poor boundaries with others and putting other people’s lives and needs before your own. A feeling of being of less worth than anyone else.
• Terrorising – choosing to listen to the corrosive thoughts on a perma-loop in your head which churns up so much negativity and self- recrimination it blots out the sun.
• Doubting – not trusting your thoughts, your choices, your heart, your dreams your very self.
• Cruelty – trying to motivate yourself by saying unkind or horrible things to yourself
• Criticising – your attachment to perfectionism means your and life never feel quite good enough. Using perfectionism as false protection from painful emotions.
• Rejection – not showing up for yourself
• Crushing – playing small to fit in, to not shine your light to please others

Time to love yourself more than you can ever imagine a partner ever will. Ready to be your own best mate, cheerleader and giggle buddy?

Ever thought about becoming a coach?

It’s less than a month until the Spring term of Pure Coaching Academy training course starts.

Many of you may be undecided if this is your next career calling. Here in my webinar this week I answer many common questions about becoming a coach. Watch it below or book a chat with me.