Steve Alten May Newsletter
Happy Mother’s Day!

I’ve included jokes written by Moms, a special recipe, a Mother’s Day contest and a very special tribute to MOMs everywhere from the 3 Stooges. Also included: a flurry of articles on MEG-2: The TRENCH hit the internet over the last few days – this will catch you up. I’ve also included an interview with the director: Ben Wheatley.
In news, the new $4.95 CLUB MAKO membership is filling up fast as a countdown has begun for the release of the long-awaited Where Sea Monsters Roam video game. A dozen members are engaged in beta testing the game and they see the potential addiction.
Lots of other news and goodies – enjoy!
Steve Alten
LIVING TIPS: What you need to know about the COVID-19 vaccines:
As an author I love and appreciate ALL OF MY READERS regardless of your sex, age, race, religion, sexual preferences, country of origin, or politics. At the same time, I am NOT going to toss out “alternative truths” (lies) in order to keep you a fan – with me you will always get the truth… which leads us to the COVID-19 pandemic.
When the Trump Administration first announced the vaccines my initial thought was – I think I’ll wait. This is a new virus and the vaccines seemed rushed. Worse, Trump turned the epidemic into a political issue, ignoring the scientists while creating his own dangerous narrative (it’ll be gone by summer, it’ll be gone by fall, there’s no danger to children…). So while I give his administration credit for expediting vaccines thru PROJECT WARP SPEED, his lies, behavior, and his flat-out refusal to wear a mask endangered every person who attended his rallies – turning each affair into a super-spreader event. That is NOT a political statement, that is verifiable FACT. So when the Biden Administration picked up the dropped baton and put together a real and effective game plan for manufacturing and distributing the vaccines, I decided I needed to do my own research. If you have read any of my thrillers then you know research is something I take very seriously.
FACT: This is a virus that continues to mutate (altering its own genetic code) making it more challenging to battle – and provide the public with black and white answers. The simple truth is that scientists are still learning, but that doesn’t warrant doing nothing. MASKS remain an effective way to shield yourself and those you come in contact with. The VACCINES are RELATIVELY SAFE and EFFECTIVE. “RELATIVELY SAFE” meaning the vast majority who use the vaccine will suffer no adverse side effects, and most of these will be flu-like symptoms that last a day. EFFECTIVE means they will provide a significant protection against acquiring the disease while SIGNIFICANTLY LOWERING the chances of dying from COVID should you become infected.
And so, with my research completed I decided it was safer to have the vaccine than risk being infected – especially with the far more dangerous British and South Africa variants spreading so quickly. Six weeks ago I showed up at a PUBLIX supermarket at around 8:30pm and told them I was 61 years old and have Parkinsons. They gave me shot #1 of the Moderna – no side effects. Four weeks later I returned to receive shot #2. The next day I felt weak and my muscles felt sore. This pain lasted 24 hours and then I was fine. My wife however did suffer a severe side effect because she had received filler shots (Restylane) for wrinkles three months before the vaccine. Apparently these fillers and the vaccines must be separated by a year! Her face swelled badly at the injection locations and she had to take a course of different meds including Pregnazone, Pepsid, and Zyrtec. This important info is NOT mentioned before the shot.
Sadly, where you get your news from may determine whether you or those loved ones you come in contact with will survive the pandemic, get infected, or die. For instance, if you watch Chris Wallace on FOX news you will get fairly accurate reporting. Conversely, if you watch Tucker Carlson on FOX then you are placing yourself and those you hold dear in SIGNIFICANT DANGER. This is NOT fact-based news, it is sensationalism intended to boost ratings at the viewer’s expense. It is irresponsible and instead of serving the public as the news media should it can cause irrevocable harm.
MEG -2: The TRENCH - Breaking news…
Jason Statham Interview:

Jason Statham Says 'The Meg 2' Starts Filming Next Year, and He'll Be Back to Punch Another Shark in The Face

Ben Wheatley Interviews:

The Meg 2 will feature multiple sharks, teases Ben Wheatley

Ben Wheatley on His Pandemic-Inspired Horror Movie ‘In the Earth’ and Why He Wanted to Direct ‘The Meg’ Sequel

What is CLUB MAKO?
CLUB MAKO is a special discounted membership into designed as a THANK YOU to all current members and as an incentive to all of my loyal fans and readers to join before the video game is released in June. CLUB MAKO members will receive discounts, offers, and giveaways – the first SPECIAL GIVEAWAY announced below. And at only $4.95 a month (half the already discounted V.I.P. price) you’ll be kicking yourself if you miss this opportunity (see below). 
To convert your V.I.P. membership or to sign up before we reach our membership limit go to
Saturday May 8 at 3pm est: ZOOM call with Steve Alten. All members are welcome. To receive an invite, email Kelly at

Sunday May 9: Winners of the SMC Mother’s Day Giveaway announced (see below).

Monday May 17: Release of the Enhanced Version of MEG: Hell’s Aquarium! My amazing editor Barbara Becker has been loading artwork, never-before-seen mini-sub schematics, and graphic images into the Enhanced Version of MEG: Hell’s Aquarium and this one – you don’t want to miss. The pdf can be accessed ONLY in the private library where you can also find Enhanced Versions of MEG, MEG: Angel of Death, The TRENCH, MEG: Primal Waters, MEG: Graphic Novel, GOLIATH, SHARKMAN, and The LOCH… all FREE to members, only available at  
CLUB MAKO: Mother’s Day Giveaway
Saturday May 8 – Sunday May 9.

Winners announced on Mother’s Day Sunday April 9.
To ENTER: Email Steve Alten at SUBJECT: Mother’s Day Giveaway.

I will send you 1-3 different images. Post them on your social media sites and then send the links to me at SUBJECT: CONTEST LINKS. Include your name.
Every post will put your name in a hat for a drawing. TEN NAMES WILL BE DRAWN ON MAY 9 and announced on
WINNERS RECEIVE their choice of either:

* A personalized signed copy of MEG: Generations in MASS MARKET PAPERBACK.

* A personalized signed copy of MEG: Hell’s Aquarium in TRADE PAPERBACK.

GRAND PRIZE: The most VIEWED post will receive YOUR CHOICE of any new CLUB MAKO item! 
Music Video of the Month: Best of Therapy
What? You never heard of Therapy? Jack “the maniac” Morefield on lead guitar, Jeff “Sticky fingers” Gordon on rhythm guitar, Matt the lounge singer on vocals and harmonica, some dude who answered an ad on bass… and Steve “the fill-in king” Alten on drums. Enjoy my youth.

“Tell me darlin’… what’s my name?” 
Recipe for Mother’s Day:
Smashed-Banana Bread
At Dovecote Café in Baltimore, this banana bread is one of many awesome baked goods served on a daily basis. The recipe comes from owner Aisha Pew’s mother, Gilda Bain-Pew, and includes super-ripe bananas and a hit of banana liqueur (but it’s still quite good without the liqueur). 

1/2 cup pecans, chopped
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups smashed very ripe banana
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sour cream
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon banana liqueur or dark rum
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened, plus more for serving
1 cup granulated sugar, Confectioners’ sugar, for dusting.  


Step 1 Preheat the oven to 350°. Grease a 9-by-5-inch metal loaf pan with nonstick spray and line the bottom with parchment paper, allowing 2 inches of overhang on the 2 long sides. Spread the pecans on a baking sheet and toast for about 7 minutes, until lightly browned and fragrant. Let cool.

Step 2 In a medium bowl, whisk the flour with the baking powder, baking soda and salt. In another bowl, beat the eggs with the banana, sour cream, vanilla and banana liqueur until combined.

Step 3 In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle or using a hand mixer, beat the 5 tablespoons of butter with the granulated sugar at medium speed until fluffy, about 2 minutes. At low speed, gradually beat in the wet ingredients until incorporated, then beat in the dry ingredients until just combined; fold in the toasted pecans.

Step 4 Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake in the center of the oven for about 1 hour and 30 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean. Transfer the pan to a rack and let cool for 45 minutes, then turn the bread out onto the rack and let cool completely. Dust the top with confectioners’ sugar, cut into slices and serve with softened butter.

*IF YOU HAVE A RECIPE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at Put RECIPE in the subject line.
Jokes of the Month – by Moms for Mother’s Day
"I love my kids. Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking, but I love them." 

"Some days I do yoga and don't yell at my kids. Some days I scream at them while eating cake over the kitchen sink. It's called balance." 

"I love it when I find myself screaming 'STOP SCREAMING' at my kids. That's how I teach them irony." 

"A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He said, 'Call for backup.' "

“You know you’re a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn’t only normal, but necessary.

Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.

Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, “Phew it’s chocolate.”

“My kid is turning out to be exactly like me. Well played, Karma. Well played.” 

“I let my kids follow their dreams, unless I already paid the registration fee on their last dream, then they follow that for six to eight more weeks.”

“Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house.” 

“My nickname is Mom. But my full name is “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.”

“Mothers with teenagers know why Megalodons ate their young.”
IF YOU HAVE A JOKE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at Put JOKE in the subject line.
Your monthly dosage of the 3 wise men… This laugh-out-loud scene (my all-time favorite) is dedicated to all MOMS everywhere!
Stay safe… stay united… please wear a mask and get your vaccine ASAP.

Steve Alten
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