*IMPORTANT: The bizarre and incredibly annoying described below dealing with my wife’s laptop are absolutely true and occurred on a daily basis from March 1 - March 16 as I attempted to complete the newsletter you are about to read. With no exaggeration it took me sixteen to finally lock down and save an acceptable version of a task that usually takes half-a-day. (I had planned to write more of LOCH-3 but after this, I couldn't chance affecting the manuscript). The last thing I did on the morning of the 17th before heading home from my sister Sue’s home was to email the file to myself from my wife’s laptop so that I could open it on my p/c at home, then check it one last time before sending it to Lisa McEntyre who makes it look first class before it is sent to you. When I opened the email, the edit of March 16 was gone, replaced with the edit of March 3. I called my computer whiz and he located the file on my wife's laptop and sent it by email.

 

The first 4 times it did not arrive.

Normally, I try to deliver this newsletter during the first week of the month, but March has been anything but “normal.” Our home is over 20 years old and was overdue work – plus some promised improvements for my wife, Kim. Because of painting and new floors we had to move out for 5 days...return home so that she could have a surgical procedure scheduled eight months ago, recuperate…then 5 more days away.

That was 17 days ago. I lost my mind somewhere around Day 3 when - having abandoned my beloved P/C to be packed away so that my home office could be painted and a new carpet laid, I realized my wife’s laptop had it in for me. No, that is not a joke. I had planned to work every day while away, getting the March newsletter done by the third, then back at The LOCH-3: Heaven’s Lake. The laptop had me on a different schedule.

The damn machine refused to cooperate. I’d type out a few sentences and… where’d it go? It wasn’t on the page. So I’d type it again… and again, until finally it showed up – three pages earlier! This happened every day! By day 4 I was yelling at it to stop.

If this was fiction and I was the reluctant dupe… Maybe it’s possessed by some evil person from my past... I dunno... a scorned girlfriend reincarnated. Hey, it’s vaguely possible. I heard that old show, My Mother the Car was based on a true story. (okay, that was a joke, although it is a bit bewildering to me that I watched that show maybe once as a young boy and I have the tune and a line of lyrics in my head as I type these words, yet I cannot remember if I took my meds 2 hours ago).

Whatever was/is going on, the laptop demon has made the simple task of creating a bitch kept taking new passages I’d type, mix up the words, and then randomly disperse it throughout the Russian people to end Vlad the Sociopath’s self-extended stay in office in a similar manner.

What the hell was that? See! She’s doing it right now!

A new Steve Alten Graphic Novel may be in the works! 

Look for a Facebook post where you can vote for your favorite choice.

Apologies again, I hope to be reunited with my P/C (and my dogs!!!) in the next 24-36 hours... when, as Dr. Venkman said in GHOSTBUSTERS, “this bitch is toast.”

Steve Alten

Hmm... guess which shark author wrote about this in MEG: Nightstalkers years ago. Growing larger is a means of adapting to cold water and this justified why both the Megs and the Lio to move out for 5 days...return home so that she could have a surgical procedure scheduled eight months deceased batshit crazy female camp counselor from my past - leave this innocent laptop and I’ll

While we await the new video game’s next beta testing, I came up with a way we could release a teaser episode to Where Sea Monsters Roam, the episodic series I wrote back in early 2020 when the entire Sea Monster Cove concept came to me. From March thru October 2020 (during the worst of COVID) our dedicated team of actors, producers, crew and director traversed France between lockdowns shooting the first episode – most of it against greenscreen. The footage was originally intended to test the actors and their chemistry on film, as well as the abilities of the producers and director. We came away sold on the two male leads and the talents of our F/X team. Unfortunately, there was so much greenscreen shot (the pandemic eliminating key location shots) that to make the episode with F/X would have been way beyond our budget – especially with COVID affecting our monthly membership goals needed to shoot the first season. In fact, to help families affected by COVID, I decided to lower our monthly membership fee in half and it still remains below $5 for everything.

A few months ago, I watched the footage shot in France once again and I was really impressed by our two leading men. I captured a few still photos off the screen, using photosuite to add real images to the greenscreen – which worked really well. After organizing the best of the best scenes (some of which did not require F/X) I was able to rewrite the episode to work with what we had, which would be narrated by the two male leads. Once we receive these new voiceover sequences, our editors will put it all together and we will release it – first to members, then on YouTube.

The more new members we receive – the sooner we can get the show underway. So please – spread the word!

By Jo Gambosi We’ve all heard that having an attitude of gratitude can make a difference when doing this thing called life. But does gratitude make a difference for someone who is experiencing the distressing effects of Parkinson’s disease (PD), or for their caregivers? In a beautifully written Parkinson’s News Today column about her father, who has PD, Mary Beth Skylis writes that rather than focusing on their struggles, she’s “determined to highlight the areas of our lives that are colored with success.” Doing that, she believes, “will make all the difference.”

Heard this while we were away and it pulled me right out of the doldrums. Was there ever a more talented singer/musician?

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast

¼ cup warm water

1 cup scalded milk, cooled

½ cup prepared mashed potatoes

¼ cup vegetable shortening

¼ cup white sugar

1 ½ teaspoons salt

1 egg, beaten

4 ½ cups all-purpose flour

Dissolve yeast in warm water in a bowl. Let stand until the yeast softens and begins to form a creamy foam, about 5 minutes. Mix milk, mashed potatoes, shortening or butter (see Cook's Note), sugar, and salt together in a bowl; add yeast mixture and egg. Stir 2 cups flour into the milk mixture until incorporated. Stir in remaining 2 cups flour to make a soft dough. Turn dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 7 minutes. Place dough in a lightly greased bowl, turning once to coat all sides of dough with oil. Cover bowl and put in a warm place until dough has doubled in size, about 1 hour. Punch dough down and shape into a ball. Cover the bowl and let rest for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease 2 baking sheets. Shape dough into 24 rolls and place onto prepared baking sheets; let rise until dough springs back when you touch the side of a roll with your fingertip, about 25 to 40 minutes. Bake rolls in the preheated oven until golden brown, 10 to 12 minutes.

Cook’s tips: I roll out the dough to about 1/2 inch thick, cut out 4-inch diameter circles, brush with melted butter-olive oil mixture, and fold over to make half circles. I then brush the tops with the butter-oil mixture when the rolls are done.

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*IF YOU HAVE A RECIPE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at MEG82159@aol.com Put RECIPE in the subject line.

Jon Stewart used to close The Daily Show with his moment of Zen. I offer you my favorite Three Stooges moments of woob woob woob – Curly, guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

Stay safe… and know this author really appreciates you.

 –Steve Alten, Ed.D.

Steve Alten's Books