News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™      


Joy, Love, and Peace for 2019

Attitiude Reconstruction                                     

IMadonnari                                                                                                                                   Old Mission Chalk Festival 2019 
June 2019                         Taking Personal Responsibility 

I'm not sure if I have mentioned this in the newsletter. I am pleased to announce the reprinting (and slightly edited)
version of Attitude Reconstruction. It includes a revised "action" chapter, full Blueprints on the inside front and back cover, and little futzes here and there. Available, signed, sealed, and delivered for only $15.00 (includes tax.).  
To buy yours at this price, send me an email at: jude@attitudereconstruction.com 
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Praise for the newsletter.
So much good sense and helpful ideas, plus delightful cartoons and other odds and ends.     Thank you!

Run of the Mill
George Harrison
Everyone has choice
When to or not to raise their voices
It's you that decides
Which way you will turn
While feeling that our love's not your concern
It's you that decides
No one around you
Will carry the blame for you
No one around you
Will love you today and throw it all away
Tomorrow when you rise
Another day for you to realize me
Or send me down again
As the days stand up on end
You've got me wondering how I lost your friendship
But I see it in your eyes
Though I'm beside you
I can't carry the lame for you
I may decide to
Get out with your blessing
Where I'll carry on guessing
How high will you leap
Will you make enough for you to reap it?
Only you'll arrive
At your own made end
With no one but yourself to be offended
It's you that decides
"I take full responsibility for my actions, which I will ultimately blame on my staff."  

"Only I can prevent forest fires? Don't you think you should share some of the responsibility?"

"For someone who believes in personal responsibility, you spend a lot of time blaming government."

"Flying around all day just won't cut it--sooner or later, you're going to have to fight evil."


"My life has been totally screwed up for years, but thus far no one has stepped forward to claim responsibility."

Greetings dear ones,    
This month the topic is about choice. It can sound trite but at every moment we choose what we'll think, feel, say, or do. We can choose to go negative (last month's topic) or we can look at the sunny side. We can exercise or make excuses. We choose whether to eat the dessert or take a pass. We can berate ourselves when we make a mistake or look for the learning.
The long and short of "choice" is that we must own up to the fact that we alone are responsible for what we create in our lives. It's time to take personal responsibility for our actions and reactions. Gone are the days where we can blame others for our misery or plight. We can own our victories as due to our efforts or say it was luck.  
All photos in this month's newsletter were taken over Memorial Day weekend. Each year for the last 33 artists from near and far come to do chalk drawings at the Old Mission for IMadonnari. They are spectacular. This year they had to be flexible and work around a forecast for rain. 

  A Few Articles and Stuff of Interest   
 Guess what? You no longer need 10,000 steps daily to be healthy! 5000 is doable.
Do you know someone who loves Red Bulls or Monsters? No surprise, there are energy drink health concerns.  
Here's an article that reinforces the idea that holding onto grudges is not good for your health and well-being.
Trees older than Christianity found in North Carolina. 
Videos Guaranteed to Bring a Smile!  
Dodge ball match between Michelle Obama's team and James Corden 's to air June 17 (That's tonight but technically it's the 18 since it airs at 12:37am pacific time.)
Scott Metzger, talented cartoonist, had his cat drawing accompany the light-hearted cat song , sung by Mike Whitney. 
Always brings a smile. That's Carol Burnett.  
3D printers to build affordable housing for $4000. Amazing solution to help with shortage of places to live.  
This will warm your heart, even if you hate golf. It's Amy Bockerstette, Special Olympic Star, with pro golfer Gary Woodland, as she hits three perfect shots. 
  Most all cartoons "borrowed" from the Cartoonbank.    

Taking Personal Responsibility for Your Life

The focus of the two opposite emotions of sadness and joy is ourselves. There are four pairs of core attitudes about ourselves: 1) feel worthy vs unworthy, 2) self-reliant vs depends on others for approval, 3) judge ourselves positively vs negatively, and 4) take personal responsibility vs passivity.
This issue of the newsletter is about the fourth pair of core attitudes. When we stand up and lovingly assert ourselves, we feel joy. We feel virtuous and good because we are following our inner wisdom. However, if  we have unexpressed sadness this leads to us feeling small and unimportant, and consequently acting passive. When we feel reticent to speak up and act, it is a sign that we are compensating for not expressing our sadness or crying enough. Passive behavior also results when we avoid the emotion of fear. By failing to acknowledge and express the fear that naturally arises when we step in unfamiliar territory, we feel unsafe putting ourselves out there.
When we're gripped by being passive, we are not in tune with our inner voice. The truth is it's not about whether others like us or not. It's about lacking the energy, drive, or confidence to do what we know within is for the best.
Being passive developed as a pattern for a really good reason -- we were avoiding feeling our emotions and had to find some place to channel the sensations we were experiencing. Maybe dad was a tyrant and we felt like we had no choice but to be quiet and duck. Maybe our classmates laughed at us when we made a mistake. Expressing our outrage, anger, and sadness would only inflame a dangerous situation. But today, we're grown up and need to handle situations in an adult manner. It's time to shed our meekness and stand up and be counted. It's a choice. Yes, it's frightening, but not speaking up doesn't feel good or empowering.   

How To Step Up and Step Out
Don't want to reorganize your filing cabinets? Take the garbage out? Make sales calls? Visit your in-laws? The list can go on and on. 
Instead of automatically digging in your heels and thinking: I don't want to ... the outside world is making me do this," pause. This kind of thinking is an indicator of unexpressed anger, of not accepting what is, of knowing you don't want to but feeling you "should." Like a child having a tantrum because he doesn't want to go to bed, you feel justified in stubbornly resisting. However, there is a price to pay, both within yourself, and for others.
To spare yourself and your world from missing out on feeling love, switch your thinking and take personal responsibility. You have a choice! The truth is "I am responsible for what I think, feel, say, and do." or I'm responsible for my experience." or "I'm responsible for my life." If you are complacent, I suggest you repeat one of these "truths" at least a dozen times a day, minimum, AND relentlessly interrupt your thoughts that justify taking the comfortable way out. 
Another good truth to help you remember to step up and step out is: My job is to take care of myself. Contrary to our fantasy about someone coming to our rescue, the reality is that it is our responsibility to do what we know is called for in every situation and every moment that honors ourselves and our world.  
This task can seem extra hard if we're in a relationship where our partner has the habit of blaming us for what he or she perceives isn't working. Instead of feeling guilty for taking a stand, please stay strong in the truth that we are all equally responsible for creating our realities. 
When it seems as though others are telling you what to do or you're telling yourself how you should act and you feel resistance brewing, step out of your rut and ask yourself these questions. What's the specific event or task? What do I know in my heart of hearts is best, is the high road, or will keep me in my personal integrity?
You intuitively know what's right. It's an inner feeling. So listen and obey that rather than your knee-jerk resistance. You'll become a different, lighter, freer person. You'll treat your customer with kindness so they will shop with you again. You know that taking out the trash is the least you could do to help around the kitchen. You know when it's time to call your aging parent. You know when it's time to give an employee a raise.
Listen within and obey. Fear might arise, but just shiver it out and follow what you know in your heart. You'll feel less anger, more love, and more in the flow. You'll get out of that selfish "me me me" mentality and experience the joy of staying true to yourself. Those around you will ultimately thank you too.

Hey Jude 
I think I'm going to quit my ladies group but I'm chicken. I've been a contributing member for so long. Can you help me out?

If you've been contemplating that move for a while, maybe it's time to leave. If you're seized by sudden impulse, think back and see if something upsetting happened the last couple of times you got together. If so, deal with the specific event and handle your emotions so that you're clear before you do something final.  

However, if it feels right to leave, don't worry about what the others will think. If you know it's time to go, state what's true for you and communicate it, especially emphasizing all the the aspects of the group you like or pleasant memories you've shared. That way no one will be confused about why you're leaving and/or suspect you have ulterior motives. And you'll feel proud of yourself for obeying what you know within.  
I'm wishing you the courage to step out of an old rut and take some new action. You'll be glad you did. 
Thanks for reading this newsletter. If you have any feedback, suggestions about a newsletter theme, or general comments, I enjoy hearing from you, so feel free to write me at: jude@AttitudeReconstruction.com
                           With love,