Strong Teachings for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur

The amount of closeness to someone is not how much we see each other when there is light, the closeness is how much do we see each other in darkness. Let's say I want to test myself and see how close I am to my own house, so imagine I am checking into the Hilton in Amsterdam, unless there is light in the room I don't know where anything is. When I come into my own house I don't have to turn on the light, I know where everything is because I'm so close to it.

I'll tell you another very deep thing. If there are certain people you don't like, then you don't want to sit with them when it's dark. You don't mind sitting with them when there is light on, but when it's dark you don't want to sit with them. The darker it gets, the less you want to sit with them. You know why? Our holy rabbis teach us that the light which existed before G-d created the world was hidden and kept for the righteous ones. That light which is from before G-d said 'let there be light', this light of Mashiach can absolutely not stand anything which is not close.

I want to share something very deep with you, why are we counting after the moon? We count after the moon because the moon is the absolute in between. The moon does not take away the darkness but the moon reminds me that in all the darkness there is this great light. Do you know how close people are in the middle of the night, when the moon is shining? The closeness of the moon is unbelievable.

There is a time when the moon is not even out and yet the moon is so deep. When there are clouds you don't see the sun, but the moon? The moon is so deep that at night when the moon isn't even there you can also see the moon.

So you see what it is? Rosh Hashonna is 'Bakese Leyom Chageinu', the day of our holiday when the moon is concealed. There is mamesh no light at all, no light.

And here I need you to open your hearts in the deepest way. The Torah has two levels of light. The level of light which shows me what I should and what I should not do, this is the level of G-d saying 'let there be light. But that light which is just I, this absolute closeness to G-d comes from before G-d says 'let there be light', this is mamesh from the beginning. Imagine on the most way out level that there would be no world, just me and G-d. Imagine how close we would be. You know what it is? I feel less close to G-d because there is a world.

So what happens to me on Rosh Hashonna? The holiness of Rosh Hashonna is that I realize that G-d created the world just for me. Not that G-d created trillions of bodies and I am one of those bodies and G-d got me a little soul with a BMI machine and put some bones together and that is how I exist. The same way Manishewitz produced two million matzas G-d produced so many people. It's not like this, but I cannot see it without the light of Breishis.

If I could say so, Yehi Or is the Torah Shebichsav (written Torah) and Breishis is the light of Torah Sheb'al Peh (oral Torah) which is the deepest light there is because it's just G-d and I. Everybody knows that Torah Sheb'al Peh is only at night. You know what this means? The highest thoughts don't come to you during the day, always at night because the light of the night comes from another place. When G-d created the world he began with the night and then with the day. 'Vayehi Erev Vayehi Boker', that means that first G-d gave the world the Torah Sheb'al Peh and then the Torah Shebichsav. So you know what G-d did? Before he created the world 'Histakel Be'oraisa'.

And let it be clear to you. Unless you connect yourself to that light then you don't know what the Holy Land is all about, because Eretz Yisrael was given to us on that level of light beyond light.

So therefore it says 'Hashem Ori Veyishi', G-d is my light and my salvation. The Medrash says that my light is on Rosh Hashonna and my salvation is on Yom Kippur, so what kind of a light is it? Its dark, 'Bakese Leyom Chageinu'. It's not the light from Vayehi Or, it's the light from Breishis Bara Elokim, gevalt what a light. What a world... what a light.

We are living in a world where people laugh at each other, but do you realize that people don't cry with each other anymore? To laugh with somebody you don't have to be so close to them, I can tell anyone a joke. To cry... you have to be very very close.

All year long we are not close enough to G-d to cry, but Rosh Hashonna is Teki'a, Shevarim... I am mamesh crying my heart out before G-d because on Rosh Hashonna it's the first time I am close again.

You know friends, I hate to say bad things, it shouldn't happen to anybody. Have you ever watched funerals, people don't even cry that much at funerals, you know why? Family isn't even close enough to cry for each other, gurnisht. You walk into a house of mourners and you don't know if there was a wedding, if there was a Bar Mitzvah or if they were just coming back from Bermuda. You walk in to a shiva house and they ask you if you would like to have a cup of coffee. Gevalt, I'm coming here to console you, I thought you were mamesh crying. At most shiva houses they talk about everything in the world besides about the person who passed away because the world suffers from not being close. It's awesome to be close, Yamim Nora'im are called the awesome days. It's not awesome to do G-d's will, but it's awesome to be close to G-d, gevalt is it awesome. It's awesome to be so close to G-d when you can pour out your heart before him.

When children are born, they feel so close to us and therefore they are always crying. When they get older and realize 'gevalt, I made a mistake... can't be so close to my parents anymore', they stop crying and it's so heartbreaking. I always tell parents that when their babies are crying, they got to soak it in and listen to it so much because someday our babies won't cry so much and we should always remember how it sounded when they were crying. So Rosh Hashonna is mamesh the sound of crying but this is only Teki'a Shevarim. Everybody knows that Teki'a is mamesh the sound of joy, everything is great. Teki'a is utmost joy, shevarim is mamesh crying. Do you know what it says to us, do you know who you should be close to and to laugh with? Only people who you are close enough to laugh with.

You know friends, the highest is if we would be so close to the Torah that we can laugh with the Torah and that we can cry with the Torah.

Yom Kippur and Simchas Torah are the two highest. I heard from an old Breslover Chassid in Eretz Yisrael that Reb Nachman Tulchiner blessed somebody and said 'you should always have two things with you, Yom Kippur and Simchas Torah, because that's all there is to it. Crying and laughing, that's it.' That's all of life there is, crying and dancing. Isn't it strange how happy we are on Rosh Hashonna with all the crying? You know what the greatest joy is? When you find somebody who is so close to you that you could mamesh cry before them.

Imagine Chas Veshalom that my baby'le falls off a chair and the first thing is that she is crying. You know what it is? She doesn't talk yet about fixing the hurt, she doesn't want us to fix her hurting yet, maybe later she will. First she needs somebody to cry with, later on is the fixing. On Rosh Hashonna the first thing is Teki'as Shofar. I'm not fixing what I did wrong, I mamesh just want to cry my heart out. Then comes Aseres Yemei Tshuva and I'm really starting to fix, but only the one who is close enough to me that I can cry before them, that is the one who will fix me. 'Dirshu Hashem Behimatz'o Kra'uhu Bihiyoso Karov', mamesh G-d is so close.

And I want you to know something else. Do you know why people don't cry? Not only do they not cry before other people, they don't cry period. They are not even close enough to their own souls. They are strangers to their own body and their own soul, afraid to cry. What do I talk to myself about? 'Lecha Amar Libi', I'm talking to my own heart and to my own soul. So the new beginning on Rosh Hashonna is that I'm close to G-d and I'm close to myself. I am mamesh utmost joy, utmost dancing and utmost crying, everything together.

But you know, the most important thing is that on Rosh Hashonna we mamesh have to take with us how holy the world is. This is mamesh so special, so special. If you walk away from Rosh Hashonna and Yom Kippur and you only realize how holy the Torah is which is the highest, you will miss out again next year because you are not living in a book, you are living in the world. You have got to connect yourself to G-d's Torah Sheb'al Peh, you have to connect yourself to G-d's word.

If I love somebody very much and I want to give them a gift. I can ask them 'would you like to have the gift', and I also can give it to them in public. When I love someone very much I don't ask them and I also don't give it to them in public. The Luchos Rishonos Shevuros was in public and G-d asked us Luchos Shniyos on Yom Kippur, G-d didn't ask us and nobody knew about it.

I want to say one more way out thing, if you permit me. Remember I told you the whole thing that world is G-d's Torah Sheb'al Peh, now listen to this. When G-d gave us the first tablets, even the stones were from heaven. Everything was Torah Shebiksav, everything was from G-d. The stones of the second tablets were from this world. You see what it is? Torah Shebiksav was written on Torah Sheb'al Peh because this world is Torah Sheb'al Peh. What we have to do is to connect G-d to the world.