Most of us go through our day without pondering “why” we do things in our unique way, much less why others do things certain ways. However, we are usually quick to get our feathers ruffled when something goes wrong in our interactions with others. You see, at times, we all suffer from one or both syndromes: BLM and BLT.
BLM stands for Be Like Me. It’s when we expect other people to be like us and when they aren’t, we often label them as crazy, lazy, wrong, bad, weird, etc. When we are caught up in BLM, we are playing the blame game, where others who do not function like us are to blame when things go south. How does this affect our colleagues, team dynamics, and other important relationships? How does it affect our stress level and that of others?
BLT stands for Be Like Them. This is when we feel as though we aren’t good enough the way we are, thinking we must be more like someone else. BLT is about the self-blame game. We may find ourselves
often
adopting other cognitive processes, interaction styles, or needs that aren’t natural to our core self. How does this affect our ability to thrive and use our natural “flow state” in our work if we don’t value who we are?
So how do we become more aware of being in the grips of BLM or BLT? The answer is:
A better understanding of ourselves and others
. In what ways do we process information differently than others? What ways are those processes the same? What are the core motivators that drive us? Is the way in which we interact with others effective? What are the gifts that each of us brings to the table? How can we value those gifts in one another? Learning the answers to these questions is how effective teamwork and relationships can be a catalyst for improvement.
Over the years, SRCAC’s most requested trainings have centered around working with “teams.” Whether they be multi-disciplinary teams, CAC teams, or teams of board members. As we all know, teams are made up of unique personalities who, despite our best efforts, at times can get sideways in the sandbox, so to speak. When this happens, it can affect our productivity in this all-important work of helping children, whether that be directly or indirectly.
Learning about the three lenses through which we see ourselves and others can create more self-awareness, agility, increased use of strengths, self-leadership, decreased stress, and a new appreciation for the personality patterns of ourselves and others. Each of these lenses—Essential Motivators, Interaction Styles, and Cognitive Dynamics—reveals important information that we have most likely not had a language to express.
When we interpret situations through these three lenses, we are employing the InterStrength Approach (see graphic below). Developed by Dr. Linda Berens, the InterStrength Approach integrates an understanding of our
Essential Motivators
with how we are inclined to express those needs through our
Interaction Style
to arrive at 16 personality type patterns. Each pattern can then be understood in terms of our habitual
Cognitive Dynamics
, so we can get a more complete picture of how we have always been, who we are now, and where we can develop further. For questions about individual or team development training using these lenses, contact me at
mbrunner@nationalcac.org
. For further research on these integrated models:
Click here
.
