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But what about horses? You can't just take them on an aircraft with you--even if they are emotional support animals. Getting them through security might be a bit of a problem. And if they have to go to the bathroom while they're on the plane...
So how do they get those horses to and from the Olympics? Do they fly on Air Horse One?
Well, turns out, they have special horse planes. Seriously!
And on these planes, they feed the horses whatever they want. They have hay. And apples. And lots of water. They even have horse masseuses to rub their necks!
Which is a lot more than I get when I travel on a plane!
So, there are dozens of horses flying to France. And there are a lot of equestrian events. How can we combine them with other Olympic events to cut down on viewing time?
Well, why not combine, for instance, dressage with another sport?
Like archery!
Have the riders carry a bow and arrow. And every couple minutes have them pull out an arrow and let 'er fly! Not at each other. Maybe have targets. Do a couple horse dances, and then pull out your bow and take aim.
Not only would it cut down the number of events, but it would also make both dressage and archery more compelling.
For the first time in history, breakdancing is now an Olympic sport. Breakdancing. I'm not gonna belittle someone who trains for four years by spinning on their cranium for hours a day to try and win the gold.
But I do think it would be best to possibly combine breakdancing with another sport...
Like high diving!
Have the breakdancer up on the high dive. Have him gyrate and bust a move on the diving board and then take a flying leap into the water.
Bang! Two sports combined that would make both more interesting. And watchable.
What else could we combine to cut down on the number of events?
Well...How about combining the fencing and the trampoline events? On their own, they're just not that fascinating. But combined...
Have two fencers on one trampoline. Shoot the starting gun and have them jump up in the air and try to stab each other! Now that would be must-see TV!
There are 48 "Athletics" events. Everything from running to jumping to shotput. Why not combine one of those events with another sport?
For the first time ever, surfing is an Olympic event. Surfing is a tough sport. But why not combine it with one of the athletic events? Like the javelin toss!
Can you imagine, a surfer catches a wave, hoists a javelin, and tosses it towards the beach as he hangs ten? The surfer who throws a javelin the farthest wins the gold.
Sure, you might have to make sure there aren't any kids making sandcastles on the shoreline. You'd have to evacuate the Frisbee throwers.
And you'd have to warn the sunbathers as well. Speaking of sunbathing, isn't that an Olympic event this year? If it ain't, it should be. Everything else is!
If sunbathing is an Olympic event, I could definitely win...the bronze.
Keep smiling, Slim People. And keep in touch.
It's all about love.
Who loves ya?
Uncle Slimmy
PS: What do you do with all those beautiful end-of-summer tomatoes from your garden? Make Slim's Baked Tomatoes with Panko and Parmigiano. Here's the recipe from the Slim Man Cooks website. She's a-so nice!
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE FULL RECIPE!
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