Why we must forgive ourselves

The sad fact is people do disappoint, let you down, break promises, lie, play fast and loose with your love and that enlightened apology you are waiting for may never come. In order to heal properly we have to take responsibility for who we were in the relationship or situation. It’s about no longer living with guilt, self-disgust and low self-esteem but taking responsibility of our vulnerability.

Sometimes during difficult times we abandon ourselves by leaving behind who we really are to make things right, tolerable or to get through a life trauma.

Signs of Self-Abandonment:

• Not having healthy boundaries
• Not defending ourselves, our needs and wants
• Tolerating the unacceptable hoping things will change
• Losing your moral compass
• Feeling co-erced into behaviour or actions you now regret
• Venting and feeling out of control
• Confused and paranoid
• Living on nerves
• Aiming to please to the point of self-annihilation
• Feeling lost but unable to move
• Ignoring reality and favoring wishful thinking
• Forgiving or ignoring abuse
• Feeling numb
• Utter helplessness
• Stuck in “fright” mode
• Despair

Shake hands with you - embrace your humanity.

That doom list above is what happens when we abandon ourselves. Maybe it harks back to a childhood where you tolerated abuse or neglect to survive or fit in.  Wherever it came from It’s time to heal. This is where a deep compassion for self is needed. Give yourself a cashmere hug and forgive yourself your frailties and faults, the moments you weren’t strong enough or didn’t feel you were good enough. Give love to that wounded person who was not their best self and who did their best despite the circumstances. They still need support and your kindness. 

Know that wisdom that comes from it is the golden nugget of healed pain.

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