By the time we reach middle age, much less old age, nearly all of us look back over our lives and wonder, “What if …?”
· What if I had gone to a different college or pursued a different major?
· What if I hadn’t gone to that party where I met my spouse?
· What if I had stayed at that first job, rather than quitting to try other things?
As I hear Dan Fogelberg’s lines, “It's the chance of a lifetime / In a lifetime of chance,” I think of one of the big “What if” questions of my life.
I was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest but went to college and seminary in the eastern United States. As I completed seminary and sought my first call as a pastor, there were two congregations that emerged as serious possibilities. One was in Indianapolis. The other was in Seattle.
Seattle, of course, would have brought me back to the Pacific Northwest, closer to family and friends. As things worked out, however, I accepted the call to Indianapolis and withdrew my name from consideration at the congregation in Seattle.
“There will always be other opportunities to go back home,” I told myself. It hasn’t happened. As Robert Frost wisely observed about
roads not taken, “way leads on to way,” and I have always lived at least 1,500 miles from where I grew up.
Don’t get me wrong. That early choice, and other choices, led me to many rich and wonderful experiences. I’ve had a good life. I have a good life. But still, I sometimes wonder, “What if …?"
“It's the chance of a lifetime / In a lifetime of chance.” We never fully know where our choices may lead us. But we can be confident that God goes with us, and does not forsake us, whatever choice we make. And maybe, just maybe, it is not simply a lifetime of chance, but a guiding hand that mysteriously leads us on our way.
-by Bill