Reset Your Perspective and Mindset

Negativity of any kind, undoubtedly, impacts the way you live your life and interact with those around you. Checking-in with yourself from time to time helps you reflect on and reset your perspective and mindset. Happiness is a choice, but you must be willing to put in the critical work to live happily and authentically.

Consider tackling these negative thoughts and actions to help you reset your happiness perspective:

1. Perfectionism – Your need to make things perfect is cause for tremendous stress and significant mental health consequences. Trying to achieve something that is literally highly unlikely will only result in feeling inferior or less than. Allow yourself to make mistakes and know that when you make mistakes you are given an opportunity to learn. Remember when you’ve done your best, good enough is good enough and focus on meaning over perfectionism.

2. Judgement – Whether you’re judging yourself or others, what you end up doing is focusing on the negative qualities of yourself and others. My mentor, Dr. Barbara Roe-Snow often reminded me that what you say about others reflects unresolved issue within yourself. If you listen to your judgements, you’ll find answers!

3. Self-Doubt – Self-doubt is a weed that will take over your garden of life if you don’t kill it at the root. When you catch yourself doubting your actions, choices, or past mistakes simply say to yourself, “cancel, cancel.” This will help you to acknowledge negative thoughts and “nip them in the bud.”

4. Worry – My grandma Hayes used to say, “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” It really does rob you of joy in the present moment and as we all know most of what we worry about doesn’t happen anyway! Instead of worrying about what might go wrong, focus on what is possible and what you can accomplish now.

5. Complaining – When I was a corporate manager, I’d tell my staff, “Don’t bring me your problems, bring me your solutions.” When you focus on negative things, you’re really setting yourself up for unhappiness. Instead, create a space and time to articulate your feelings in a healthy way; journal those thoughts and feelings or talk to a trust friend or colleague.

6. Control – When my husband, Jeff read this newsletter to proof it, he started laughing when he read this one, and said, “Really? You’re going to tell people to lose their need to control things? Are you going to practice what you preach?” I gave him the stink eye and replied, “I know I can’t control everything, but I can choose to control how I react, and I think I’m going to react badly to your comment.” Seriously, though you need to check-in on this one and remember not to beat yourself up when things don’t go your way and know that you are always in control of your actions…which of course speak louder than words!

7. Assuming – If you assume things will never get better then they won’t! According to brain scientist assuming saves brain energy. You draw on past experiences and find patterns on how the world works. When we encounter new situations, we apply these old patterns. The problem is that assuming can damage our capacity to relate to others authentically. Energy, like thoughts, follow intention. Take your assumptions and question their truth and legitimacy.

Living authentically, being true to yourself will always be your best defense in life. I hope you will step into your truth and own it. It’s a powerful thing to embrace who you really are!

In July we celebrate our country’s independence, may you and your family have reason to celebrate. Enjoy the fireworks, eat plenty of barbecue and don’t forget the juicy watermelon. Be safe