So here are a few coaching tips for modern lovers – the red flags and love hearts to look out for when making one of the riskiest investments of your life.

1. Love is not the same thing as compatibility. You can love someone but not be suited to each other.
2. Control freaks come with trust issues and trust issues come with control and pain.
3. If you talk about how you are feeling and it ends up in a row this is a red flag.
4. Keep catching rotten fish? Then change the bait. It could be your BS instinct barometer needs re calibrating.
5. You can compromise (in fact it’s essential) but what you choose to tolerate can be the deal breakers. 
6. Happy people are attractive. We want to be around them. Needy people make you want to break out in either a sweat or a run.
7. If you hear your partner say you are “nagging again” or you are always having to repeat things they won’t or can’t hear it could be you are being “ghosted” in plain sight.
8. Our happiness is 100% our own responsibility. It doesn't start when you expect to meet Mr X or Ms Y.
9. People pleasers with poor boundaries can attract narcissists. Be sure your self-worth is mint to upgrade your partner options.
10. Remember you are not waiting to be picked. You get to choose this time.
11. Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential but what is.
12. If something doesn’t feel right in the relationship, then it probably isn’t.
13. Actions speak louder than romantic dreams, promises and pledges – which are glorious hot air until made real. There are a lot of beautiful dreamers out there.
14. You will never be enough for the wrong person. If they make you feel “less” move on.
15. Mixed messages from a partner can make you doubt yourself. It’s not you it’s them not taking responsibility for their flakiness.
16. Withholders - beware anyone who holds the medieval belief that bigging up or praising others will somehow create some uber braggard too big for their boots. It is mean, reductive and all about their fear. Being lavished with love and appreciation is a great motivator and a generous act of true love.
17. Be with someone who wants to resolve things with you and desires to be on the same page.
18. Don’t wait to be rescued. You are not Rapunzel. Have a life you don’t need a parachute for.
19. Guys – here’s a simple tip. Stop talking about yourself and learn to listen and appreciate. The human race is starved of being truly heard and “got”. It’s a great aphrodisiac and more effective than Lynx,
20. Hook up with someone with trust issues and you will find you are proving, defending and placating to calm their fears. They will always need convincing when they need to trust themselves first. (see point 2 – trust issues and control come as a bundle)
21. When criticism becomes personal attacks it’s time to reassess.
22. Know your worth.  Then you will attract those who will too.
23. It’s a sad fact soul mates come - and they also go.
24. Don’t accept crumbs in a relationship. Some people will make you beg for something they are not prepared to give.

Want to change your bait? Book a free 30-minute discovery call to release your potential and power.

We are a couple of weeks away from the start of Spring term of Pure Coaching Academy.

If you have been searching for your passion and purpose and feel deep down that you have more to give, then training to become a life coach could be for you.

Naturally, you will have lots of questions and fears around such a big life and career change which is why I recently presented a webinar answering all queries and explaining what the course covers.



You can watch it here: