 Being a caregiver for somebody with Alzheimer's is difficult enough...but having to do it together with siblings can complicate matters. There will be different views on where mom or dad should live, how much money to spend on their care, who should provide the care, and the list goes on. Its natural for "old battles" and grudges to sneak into these difficult discussions as everybody is already emotional about facing the realities of aging parents. With all difficult matters in life, the sooner you face them and develop a plan the better. Third Party Help A neutral, professional third party can help resolve matters or simply make the conversation easier by offering a care plan based on the needs of the parent, while balancing the various siblings' opinions. Geriatric care managers act as guides and advocates for families caring for elders. You can find one using this resource: http://memberfinder.caremanager.org/ Care Team Calendar If various siblings/family/friends are hands-on helping the elderly person, this online calendar system can help people sign up for various tasks. It can be useful to engage others who would like to help, but don't know how to and can also be used to keep track of each person's contribution. Now, when someone asks "what can I do to help?" the answer is "give me your name and email address" - the system takes over and allows people to sign up and start helping. http://alzheimers.lotsahelpinghands.com/caregiving/home/ Money Matters - When One Sibling Provides the Care Life has worked out that one sibling moved in with mom or dad and become the primary caregiver. Or maybe one sibling happens to be the only one still living in town and it falls on them to become the caregiver or care coordinator. They are doing it out of love and it is a difficult topic to bring up, but should they get paid for their services? This article offers a realistic solution in the form of a personal care agreement. It's a written agreement between the family member providing caregiving services and the relative receiving care (or other family members in cases where the recipient is not competent to enter into legal contracts). Such an arrangement can prevent conflicts about who will provide care and how much money will change hands.It can also prevent inheritance disputes down the road. Other Resources The Family Caregiver Alliance has a few helpful resources to help you think about your family caregiving dynamics and what steps you may want to consider: Introduction to Caregiving with your Siblings The Family Meeting Home Away from Home: Relocating Your Parents | 
