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Like many holidays throughout the year, Father’s Day can spark a multitude of emotions, especially when you’re grieving. A simple trip to the store, along with well-meaning questions from friends and family about your plans, can be challenging during the lead up to Father's Day. Then there is the day itself, which might be overwhelming to consider. For some, navigating this time of year prompts new and creative ways to acknowledge the day, which includes doing nothing at all!
If you’re concerned about the approach of Father’s Day, or want to support someone who is grieving, here are some suggestions to consider:
Remember the lead up can often be the hardest part. Be sure to build in time and activities that are comforting and supportive for at least a week before the holiday.
Come up with a plan, even if that plan is to do nothing. If you choose to acknowledge the day, consider doing something that connects you with the person and what they meant to you.
With children, it’s helpful to talk with them ahead of time about what they would like to do or not do. If one child wants to do something and another doesn’t, ask friends or family to help with the “being in two places at once” dilemma.
Let children know that it’s okay to want to celebrate and equally okay to not want to. Don’t force a child to pick another adult to honor, unless it’s something they want to do.
Be prepared for other people. There will be friends and family who reach out and those who don’t. Consider letting people know ahead of time what kinds of messages and texts feel supportive (and which ones don’t).
Social media will likely be a flurry of posts all about the day, including memories of past years. Consider taking a social media break or choose ahead of time what you want to post.
Plan something for yourself. It can be a hike, brunch with friends, a trip out of town, or anything that feels right to you. Think through what environment you want to be in, knowing that you are likely to run into families celebrating the day.
Focus on a category (food, movies, activities, color, music, etc.) and choose a few from one or all the categories that your person loved. If you don’t know, go with your best guess or pick the ones you love.
Volunteer. Doing something for others can often take us out of our own experience and create a sense of contribution, belonging, and connection. You might pick an organization or cause that was important to your person.
In the end, how you approach Father’s Day is as unique as grief and your relationship with the person who died. Let yourself be creative in figuring out what works and allow yourself to change your mind at the last minute. Download the Tip Sheet here.
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