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Dealing With the Doubt
by The Honorable Thomas A. McKean
As we approach our annual Independence Day, we come to understand we live in interesting times. We also live in times of doubt. We see horrific things happening out there and it is enough to make one feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed just to be human. I thought I would take a moment to share with you how one Unitarian Universalist deals with this. Finding my way through the doubt and the rage was a difficult journey, but I don't regret taking it. I learned some things from it that will make me a better person going forward.
One thing I did was I started being more thankful. All my life I have been taught thankfulness, yet I never really understood it until recently. When I moved back home to Ohio after living in Virginia for several years, I realized I had things to be thankful for. I have a safe and rent free home in a wonderful neighborhood, and I have people who care about me. I have the things to be thankful for that most people who have them take for granted - food, clothing, transportation, cookies, friends. And, if the beliefs of North UU are any indication, it would appear that I also have some semblance of common sense - something that seems to be more rare by the day. Oh boy, am I thankful I have that.
I am also thankful I can walk because there were years even recently when I couldn't. Chronic illness still affects the music, but my mind and my thoughts are currently a lot less cloudy than they were back when I first wheeled through your door. As bad as things are, I know they could be a lot worse. Being thankful helps me in dealing with the doubt.
Another thing I do is make a difference where I can. Back in the 90's when I was a different person (and we won't mention too young to know better), I held two terms in an elected national office. I had some clout and I did the best I could with it. One of the more important things I learned during that time is you don't need clout to make a difference. That's what we're taught, but it's wrong. We're taught we need to be a governor or a senator or whatever to really make a difference, like those people are somehow more important than the rest of us. This is not true. All you need to make a difference is to genuinely care about someone other than yourself. Those of you at North UU do, and some of you have made a real difference for me even if you aren't aware of it. (Thank you for that, by the way.)
Okay, so maybe you do need to be a Senator or Congressman to fix the many problems currently facing us as a nation. But our problems as a nation aren't the only problems we have. What we *can* do is work to change things for the people around us. For everything I accomplished during those years, the work I am most proud of is when I was occasionally wise enough to set the politics and conference speaking aside to consult with and change things for one person or one family at a time. That kind of work (even if it is volunteering) absolutely does mean everything to the lives you touch along the way. The people around you here in Central Ohio are no less important than people in other parts of the country or the world. It's like those people who somehow believe they need to adopt a child from a foreign country to make a difference when there are so many children here who are waiting for a home.
My sister is part of a group in Columbus that provides free food and clothing to the local homeless while helping them to find a place to live and get back on their feet. They are a beacon of hope in the heart of the city. She even has our neighborhood in on it. She has rallied several of the neighbors make meals and leave them in a cooler on our porch, which they do on a regular basis. They also continue to donate clothing. It is a good thing they are doing.
To look at her, she seems like your average girl on the street, and she certainly does not get the recognition she deserves. But she doesn't do this for recognition, she does it because she has a heart. Mary and I have both saved lives. But unlike me, she did it without clout and without being well known. You can't get any better than that. I am so, so proud of her. She understands the heart of advocacy beats in the grassroots, and grassroots advocacy is the best kind of advocacy there is.
What I am saying here is one way I have found to deal with the doubt, a way that works for me, is to do what I can and let the rest of it work itself out. Maybe I can't be the solution, but I can also not be part of the problem. I am just one person. Sure I can vote, and I do and I will, but there isn't much else I can do to fix these bigger problems. And beyond the voting, it also isn't my responsibility - or yours. If our legislators choose to continue ignoring them, we are not accountable. We vote for them in good faith that they will keep their word to keep our country strong.
What I *am* responsible for is respecting the inherent dignity and worth of every person I come across, and respecting the interdependent web of all existence of which we are all a part. Doing even just those two things may not solve all our problems, but it really will make more of a difference than you'd think.
Be thankful for the good things you have. Help a friend, or even a stranger. Volunteer. Use whatever skills and talents you have to ease the pain and burdens of others around you. Though it would appear counter intuitive, I have seen it is by helping others that we help ourselves deal with the doubt and sleep easier at night.
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