Breaking News, Breaking News, Breaking News and Wind
In a $49 Gazillion mega-deal, reports say Lancaster PA based K&W Tire Company has entered into a series of agreements to purchase all assets of Michelin, Bridgestone, Goodyear, Toyo, Nokian, Pirelli, Hankook, Nexen, Kumho, Yokohama, Falken and Conti. If true, K&W will control the sale and manufacture of nearly all Tier 1,2, and 3 tires in the world. Thus clearing the way for complete (but benevolent) global domination.
Representatives of K&W are refusing comment, but Bob Unrich, former editor of Ancient Tire Dealer magazine has gleaned from his sources that the deal was made possible with financing from a strategic banking partnership with First National Bank of Salunga and Wankers Bank and Trust of Richfield PA. Tire Nunya Business editor Dan Before projects easy regulatory approval, lots of unpacking, and synergies based upon synergies from 30,000 feet drilldowns. Tire Preview’s reporter Michael P. Amsterpants suggests that this historic amalgamation will surely run into low hanging fruit, circling backs, deep diving leveraging, but when finally approved will be really groovy.