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"Ok, great, I'll see you at 3:00!"
This 7 word sentence is a power phrase for me these days. I accidentally crafted this statement a few years ago, when I found myself highly frustrated with my husband and his incessant complaining.
Believe it or not, I am married to a "glass half empty" man. Actually he's more like the "glass has a hole in the bottom and there is not a chance that anything will ever stay in the cup!" I love his sweet little soul...but we couldn't be any different.
Most people know that I am "the glass is so full, that I have tons to share with others." kind of gal. He and I just see the world differently.
For years, I tried to convince him that the world is just fine and all will be well - "no reason to worry so much, take action, etc." - to no avail. Actually, the sad thing is that if you added up all the time we spent trying to get the other to think the way the other thought - it would add up to several years worth of time. What a waste!
Then one day, in the middle of another time wasting "discussion" it hit me...it's ok that he feels the way he feels. I don't have any control over it - nor, is it my responsibility to get him to change the way he thinks. I decided right then, that I'm not happy wasting our precious time together on something I have no control over. Instead, I just need to find a way to let him be him - without question.
So, I stopped the conversation and simply said "Honey, that sounds good - I'll see you at 3:00" (the 3:00 time made sense during this conversation) Eureka! By me stopping the conversation with my silly one-liner it released us both from feeling like we had to convince the other of our perspectives.
Now, whenever I feel myself beginning to try to "convince" him to view the world differently, I quietly say to myself "It's ok, I'll see you at 3:00" and that reminds me that our time together is more important than our differences.
Try it out with the one you love...you will be amazed how quickly you realize, in the long run...it's ok that you see things differently! You'll just see them at 3:00...
Coach Jenn jenn@coachjennlee.com 321-689-0521 |
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