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BUILDING RESILIENCE IN CHILDREN THROUGH CONNECTION
My family of four has gotten hooked on the game Code Names, and we try to get in a few sessions of play each week. Our daughters are 8 and 11, so I recognize that the days of them piling onto our bed to play a game may be short-lived; I am not taking this ritual for granted. The game itself is a fun mental challenge, but I also believe that the time together, away from work, homework, sports and, of course, screens, provides all of us with a sense of connection that forms the foundation of our family. And, importantly, this connection is a tool for building resilience in our children as they grow.
Connection is one the seven “C”s of resilience, as developed by pediatrician Kenneth Ginsburg, M.D., MS Ed, FAAP:
Connection
Developing close ties to family and community creates a solid sense of security that helps lead to strong values and prevents alternative destructive paths to love and attention. You can help your child connect with others by:
- Building a sense of physical safety and emotional security within your home
- Allowing the expression of all emotions, so that kids will feel comfortable reaching out during difficult times
- Addressing conflict openly in the family to resolve problems
- Creating a common area where the family can share time (not necessarily TV time)
- Fostering healthy relationships that will reinforce positive messages
Last night as we played, there was a disagreement about the rules that created some feelings of tension and frustration. Given the low stakes of the outcome, it was a good opportunity to practice allowing our daughter to express her emotions while working to calmly resolve the conflict. The space of connection allowed for a healthy response to the minor disagreement, and hopefully helped build skills for emotional expression and conflict resolution in the future.
Learn more about the 7Cs of resilience here:
https://www.fosteringresilience.com/7cs_parents.php
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