March/April MV Mediation Newsletter Friend

Please accept our apologies if this reaches you in error––we may have included emails that did not sign up for the newsletter. If you do not want to be on the newsletter mailing list send us an email or use the unsubscribe feature. Thanks.

March/April 2024

Martha’s Vineyard

Mediation Program

Mediation Musings: Time

Sara Barnes

There are all kinds of time and we’ve each developed a diverse menu of time types. How each individual handles time and how time decisions affect others are often a source of conflict. Time causes conflicts. Time can resolve conflicts too.

Consider the variety of what the word late means. In one culture showing up an hour past the time is not late, especially for a social occasion. In another culture folks line up at the door to ring the bell at the exact invited moment. These time norms creep into interpersonal interactions with misunderstandings arising.

Conflict resolvers are well advised to think about time as a conflict factor, and to also consider time as a conflict resolution tool. New mediators are often astonished that when mediation session number two happens and disputants have entirely transformed. The likely factor was the time allowed for the disputants to sleep on the issues, become relaxed with the situation and adjust to the possibilities. All of this takes time.

Most people talk about time using the same words but intend them differently. Mediators who identify these differences can note them and invite parties to discuss how these differences affect their relationship. “Jay you said you would get to fixing the leak ‘soon.’ I’m wondering if you could explain to Paul what the word 'soon' means to you when you say it….Paul when you hear the word ‘soon’ I’m wondering what you assumed that this word meant in terms of fixing the leak.”

I know we have superheroes among us, however if you have a very intensely scheduled day leading into a mediation session, consider giving yourself a refreshing break before you put other’s conflicts in your hands. Your own personal time management, including getting enough sleep the night before and planning for your bodily needs for food, rest and de-stressing are all part of what you sign up for when you become a mediator. Create the time you need to be the best mediator you can be.

We all can think of an experience where five minutes went by in flash and other times when those were the five longest minutes of your life. Time is relative in so many ways. If a conflict seems intractable, consider where time is a factor and how it is affecting the conflict’s structure. As mediators, coaches, conflict resolvers and in our everyday lives it may be helpful to regularly view our world through a time lens to see our way forward toward the future, armed with time on our side. Read more here including tips for mediators.

LEARN ABOUT ALL THE SERVICES WE PROVIDE

Youth Mediation
Family and Divorce Mediation Program––PMP
Housing Mediation
Civil Court / Small Claims
Re-Entry Program
Workplace Conflict Mediation and Management
Facilitation Services
Local Consumer Advocacy
Agricultural Mediation
Conflict Coaching
Financial Conflict Coaching
Elderly and Aging Mediation
Classes, Workshops, Seminars, and Training Programs

Check out our WEBSITE for details.

Community Programs info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

Housing Program admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

Bowling for Peace! Come out and have fun while you help the Mediation Center. See flyer here and register here.

FEATURED SERVICE:

Conflict Resolution School

Sara Barnes & Kiki Homer

Did you know that along with providing direct dispute

resolution services, we have grown into a

fully realized conflict resolution school?

Looking back at the first homegrown Intro to Mediation course in 2017, it is astounding to discover that in 2023 we provided over 320 hours of teaching and learning experiences.

Today in the third month of 2024 we run a one-hour weekly drop in Mediator Check-In Wednesdays at 4 p.m. for mediators, coaches, facilitators, and anyone else who can benefit. On Thursdays, Conflict Management Essentials takes place from 4 to 5:30; participants dig into conflict resolution concepts and research to use in their personal or professional lives. On Wednesdays from 9 to 10:30 a.m., sixteen supervisors and managers meet in our Workplace Conflict Cohort, presenting case studies and following a text about conflict management in the workplace. Monday evenings from 4 to 6, eighteen experienced mediators work together in Advanced Family Mediation to learn the intricate skills and tools for these cases. Beginning on April 3, and going forward through to June for 12 weeks, the Introduction to Mediation Basics and Qualification courses begin for any and all who would like to learn the skills, art, process, and theory of facilitative mediation. Link here.

How did we manage, after only a few years, to create a conflict resolution school here on an island seven miles off the coast? Three ways: 1) We love to teach––that is a crucial component; 2) Zoom is our friend for sure––we have had students from as far away as the Philippines, France, and Nigeria in our classes; 3) We are holding ourselves accountable to make real our organization’s vision, "An Island of Competent, Capable, and Effective Conflict Resolvers."

In a world with media and information leading toward war, polarization, and dehumanization, we are trying to do our part to spread the word of peace and resolution. Take a course if you are able; you would be welcomed to our learning community.

Massachusetts Trial Court and Massachusetts Bar Association

Bring State Mediators Together

On February 29, the Mass Bar Association’s Dispute Resolution Section Council with the Diversity Equity and Inclusion Committee held a very successful World Care meeting titled "Taking Steps to Address Barriers to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in Dispute Resolution." Mediators and Bar Association members attended via Zoom from every corner of the Commonwealth. This great effort and the cross collaboration was very productive.

On March 6, all programs providing court-connected mediation services in Massachusetts met with the Honorable Julie Bernard, Chair of the District Court ADR Committee, and Beth P. Cook Esq., District Court ADR Coordinator. Lots of helpful information was exchanged, and the next steps to advance mediation in the state were discussed.

Building Bridges Coalition--FESTA JUNINA

O Programa de Mediação de Martha's Vineyard é um dos fundadores e patrocinadores da "Aliança Construindo Pontes". Atuando em parceria com a Câmara do Comércio, a Sociedade dos Agricultores de Martha's Vineyard, CAP- Communication Ambassadors Partnership, a Islandwide Youth Collaborative, e várias outras organizações e indivíduos, a Festa Junina é a primeiro evento dessa colaboração. Você gostaria de participar?

Envolver-se

MV Mediation is a founding sponsor of the Building Bridges Coalition. In partnership with the Chamber of Commerce, the Martha’s Vineyard Agriculture Society, Communication Ambassadors Partnership, Islandwide Youth Collaborative, and numerous individuals and organizations, the Festa Junina event is the first initiative for the Building Bridges Coalition. Would you like to get involved?

Here is the link.

MV MEDIATION BOARD CORNER

The February Board meeting focused on our financial situation and included many ideas for next steps. Although we are in a strong place financially, the Board is interested in continuing to develop additional capacity so that we are not so dependent on one core annual grant.

The March meeting focused on three of our programs: Outreach & Publicity, the Youth & Peace Curriculum, and the Attorney General’s Local Consumer Program. Directors and attendees enjoyed a draft video created by middle school students at the local charter school. An update on our 2023 winter donor campaign shared that although we did not reach our financial goal, we added new contributors to our stalwart donor list.

MAKE A DONATION TODAY

Upcoming Events

March 26th, 7pm––NAFCM Big Tuesday––How To Navigate the Virtual Library
April 4th, 8:30–10:00am––ACR-GNY & CUNY Dispute Resolution Center at John Jay College present "Rising Above Conflict––The Neuroplasticity Effect of Discussing Conflict"
April 4th, 12:00–1:00pm––Community Dispute Resolution Center Roundtable: "Planning for an Accessible Mediation Process." To register, email cdscinfo@communitydispute.org
April 6th, 11:00–3:00pm––Oak Bluffs Public Library and MV Mediation host an MV & Nantucket Local Consumer Program Presentation. 56R School Street, Oak Bluffs, MA. For information, email consumer@mvmediation.org
April 11th, 12:00–1:30pm–– APFM Webinar: "Family Mediation and Autism Spectrum Disorder"
April 11th, 2pm––NAFCM––"The Intersection of Mental Health and Mediation" with Dan Bernstein
April 17th, 5:30–7:30pm–– PDT––Community Boards of San Fransisco: Deepening Connection Through Self-Reflection with Hansa R. Patel
April 18th, 1:00–2:00pm––Institute for Nonprofit Practice presents Caste: "Exposing America's Invisible Scaffolding" with Isabel Wilkerson

This month’s links for your reading, listening, and viewing pleasure:

Tempted to tell someone what to do? Try some of these tips.
Get inspired to disagree better.
What would you do if someone made an offensive or hurtful comment?
What’s the best mode to handle a conflict situation? It all depends. Learn why.

MEDIATORS’ CHECK-IN

Wednesdays at 4pm––all are welcome to join.

Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86378014243

3.27.24 Tips: Narrating the process
4.3.24 Report from the Youth Program Video
4.10.24 Role play: Summarizing participants' conflict story
4.17.24 DEI: Elder stereotypes and bias
4.24.24 Meet this amazing mediator –– TBD
5.1.24 Facilitators Check-in

Intro to Mediation begins on April 3rd. Previous participants are welcome and their attendance is appreciated. We meet Wednesdays 5:30-8pm April 3–June 28. We always need role players.

Why I Mediate

We love hearing from our community!

"Sara Barnes and the folks at MVMP are experienced professionals who bring wisdom and compassion to their work. Their trainings are excellent. Highly recommended!"

––Timothy Lydgate, Mediator

DEIJ+B: DIVERSITY, EQUITY, INCLUSION,

JUSTICE + BELONGING

To celebrate MV Mediation’s 40th Anniversary and Women’s History Month, we are shining a spotlight here on amazing women who have contributed to our history.
To celebrate Women’s History Month, learn about some phenomenal women in history here and here.
Also, enjoy this article about unleashing the power of female mediators.
Curious about where you stand? Take Harvard’s Implicit Bias test for gender career and/or gender leadership.
Want some strategies for reducing unconscious bias?
Learn about Celebrate Diversity Month here.

CONFLICT COACHING SERVICES

It can help you. Not therapy. Not advice.

So, what is Conflict Coaching

Ready to conquer your personal challenges and emerge stronger in 2024? Our one-on-one Conflict Coaching is for you. Our experienced coaches will empower you with the skills to navigate conflicts, find resolution, and pave the way for personal growth. Why choose our Individual Conflict Coaching?

Personalized Guidance: Tailored strategies to address your unique challenges.
Self-Discovery: Explore your strengths and areas for development in a supportive environment.
Transformative Solutions: Overcome obstacles and build resilience for a brighter future.
Confidence Boosting: Gain the tools to face conflicts head-on and develop potential options for resolution.

Make your appointment today!

AGRICULTURAL MEDIATION

Martha’s Vineyard Mediation is part of a national network of USDA-supported farm, agriculture, and aquaculture mediation programs. If you know of any farms, farm stands, CSAs, or agricultural/aquacultural businesses, MV Mediation can help. Most services are free or low cost through USDA funding. We work with farms in Dukes, Barnstable, Bristol, and Plymouth Counties. Our brochure is here; please pass it on to those who may need these services.

FAMILY MEDIATION PROGRAM

Divorce, Family & Conflict Resolution

We offer help talking with your spouse or partner about divorce, parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions, and communication itself, and can help you to renegotiate existing plans. We also work with reconciling couples and those who have conflicts they need help to resolve.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE FAMÍLIA E DIVÓRCIO

Divórcio, Disputas em Familia e Resolução de Conflitos

Conflitos entre marido e mulher, pais e filhos, problemas conjugais, com parceiros ou entre familiares, divórcio, custódia física e legal, planejamento para os cuidados do menor, visitação de menores, revisão do suporte financeiro e plano de visitação, divisão de bens e possível reconciliação.

info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

HOUSING MEDIATION PROGRAM

Conflict with a Tenant or Landlord?

We offer FREE MEDIATION for housing cases in Dukes and Bristol Counties and information about RAFT––rental financial assistance for back rent or moving out. Take a look at this article from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reporting about erroneous information about tenants being used and affecting homelessness and evictions.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE MORADIA

Conflitos entre o proprietário e inquilinos?

Mediação GRÁTIS para qualquer tipo de conflito relativo a sua moradia nos Condados de Dukes e Bristol, e informações sobre o RAFT- programa de assistência financeira.

admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

RE-ENTRY PROGRAM

Easier Transition from Incarceration to Community

Re-entry Mediation is FREE to incarcerated individuals (pre-release) and recently released individuals (post-release). For more information, check out our flyers for pre-released and post-released individuals.

IN-COURT AND COURT-REFERRED MEDIATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides free mediation services for eviction cases in Bristol and Dukes Counties. We are present at District Courts in Attleboro, Fall River, Taunton, and Edgartown for summary process cases. MVMP offers free services for civil cases and small claims in advance of the court date. We are also qualified to provide in-court and court-referred services for Dukes County District, Superior, Probate, and Family Courts. We provide mediation for pre-criminal and 286 E harassment cases. Our Juvenile court mediators help with cases referred from the Juvenile Court. MV Mediation waives fees for cases referred by court or with an active docket number.

WORKPLACE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

MV Mediation provides support to resolve conflicts in the workplace. We provide workshops and develop conflict resolution projects with workplaces, nonprofit organizations, and municipal and trades workplaces. Our confidential Workplace Management Cohort for supervisors and managers is a popular offering.

FACILITATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides facilitation services for groups, boards of directors, organizations, companies, and families. Neutral and confidential facilitation allows those who are attending the meeting to fully participate. If you need facilitation services, please reach out to discuss your needs. Read this article that describes how a facilitator can help you or your organization.

“We are in a much better place since we had a facilitator help us to pull things together. Thanks to the mediation program for all your help.”––A recent facilitation client

SOCIAL MEDIA

Following us on social media is a great way to support MV Mediation! Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. This month we focus on stress awareness and its connection to unresolved conflicts. As always, don’t miss out on helpful tips about managing conflicts in our daily lives. You will also get the latest information about community events, workshops, and courses.

Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

THANK YOU, DONORS!

Thanks to all our donors who participated in MV Mediation’s Annual Appeal. We will make use of your contributions wisely. We really appreciate your generosity.

It’s never too late to donate!

DONATE HERE