So in obedience to God, Jacob extricates himself after 20 years with Laban to return and face brother Esau. Remember that the reason Jacob fled to Laban in the first place was to escape Esau who had determined to kill him for stealing his birthright. It was Rebekah who told him to go “for a few days” until Esau cooled off, but of course Jacob’s desire for Rachel turned into circumstances that kept him away much longer. Obviously, Jacob is not looking forward to meeting Esau. He hopes to assuage Esau with a bribe of gifts. He even sends others first to find out if Esau is still harboring a murderous anger or if the passing of two decades has caused Esau to forgive and forget. I’ve known many individuals with similar conflict resolution hesitancies, fearful of facing someone with whom they’ve had a long-standing issue. When asked, my advice is always to go and talk it out, face the music and settle their differences. But I admit that’s easier said than done. Few of us, myself notwithstanding, like conflict. Actually, the tentativeness we feel is really due to the unknown. We don’t know what the other person is feeling or thinking. That was Jacob’s dilemma, and knowing that Esau is coming with an entourage of some 400 men doesn’t help. What to do? Pray! Now, we know about Jacob’s all night wrestling match and subsequent crippling of his thigh, but the meeting with Esau turns out to be a happy reunion of two brothers and all is well. We probably won’t have to wrestle with angels, more likely we’ll wrestle with ourselves, but through prayer and candid conversation we can resolve our conflicts.
A wise man once said that we must listen to others before we can expect them to listen to us.
Rev. Harold Hazen
