I believe God can do anything, and I believe that he has moved me to pray for certain people at certain times because he wanted to be glorified by the answers to my prayers. I am honored to have been part of that wonderful process.
Yet, I have to admit, many times I have prayed with just as much assurance and certainty that God had called me to pray, with just as much zeal, intensity of effort in my prayers, and … nothing happened. I am forced to the conclusion that in those times God said no.
One such time was when the Lord brought Penny and me to New Zealand in 2010. We came at the request of a friend, Pastor David Burge, who was fighting Leukemia. I prayed for God to heal him. To me, his survival had to be God’s will. Apparently I was wrong. God said no.
There are a few times that God has blessed me with a small glimpse into his divine purposes — sometimes years after the fact — so that I could understand why what I had asked for did not happen. But mostly I have just stared into the blank wall of God’s “no” and been forced to conclude that his no is enough. I am learning to accept his sovereignty.
I still don’t know why my friend had to die. I probably will not understand it until Jesus returns. But, like Moses in today’s text, I know enough to stop asking God “why?”
Lord, I did not get the answer I wanted. But I still trust you.
Jefferson Vann, Delco, N.C.
Extended Scripture: Deuteronomy 3-4
