Greetings during this great season of change!

We are excited that this is the first LoveNote2 for year number two. We hope that we have said something or shared something that sparked change and improvement in your relationship this past year. We reviewed the newsletters from last year and see that we asked you to email us any prayer requests you may have regarding your marriage. Please continue to do so. We have a powerful group of marriage ministers whom we fellowship with weekly and we anonymously beseech them to pray with us for you. Please continue to share date ideas, marriage ministry activities, workshop information, etc. with us so that we may continue to bless others. We see that in September/October we are always focused on change. I am an October baby who is constantly examining myself for areas of needed change. In the September 2012 edition of this newsletter, we encouraged you to pray that you will change (even if it's your perspective) rather than focus on what your spouse needs to change. In December 2012 we talked about how the gift of Jesus did not meet people's expectations and that sometimes we will not meet each other's expectations but we need to have grace, mercy, compassion, and patience with one another. In March 2013 we reminded you that the resurrection means there is hope. Things or situations that are dead can be awakened. We reviewed Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages and encouraged you to learn your spouse's love language and focus on loving and valuing each other above your individual selves. And, finally in June 2013 we reviewed six purposes of marriage and encouraged you to see how our ability to bear all things, believe all things, and endure all things as we travel this journey "as one" is a mystery with the purpose of revealing God's majesty. We have heard from some of you that you still have not experienced the change in your relationship that you so desperately need. Again, we say, change begins with you. Make it what you want it to be. And, my best friend told me to tell you, "Abraham and Sarah waited 100 years for their blessing." I don't want to discourage you, but I do want to encourage you to be patient. Patience is one of the attributes that best defines what love is. The more we learn to love, the greater our capacity will be to demonstrate patience towards others. Like Abraham and Sarah, not only do we have to be patient with our spouse, we have to wait patiently on God and trust that he will bless us with the desires of our hearts.

Sometimes it takes granting and seeking forgiveness to facilitate the love and patience we need to have an enjoyable relationship. Ephesians 4:32 tells us, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." "I'm sorry" are hard words for me to say. But my husband has been teaching me and practicing with me for 14 years. We are still not there yet, but he is patient and kind. Sometimes we need to ask our spouse for forgiveness. We need to ask God to forgive us and pray that our spouse will forgive us; make time to communicate what we need forgiveness for- being specific; lay down our pride and become open and vulnerable; accept whatever the consequences are; and, then commit to changing whatever the attitude is that led us to do whatever we did wrong. On the other end, we need to be willing to grant forgiveness; remember the scripture above and forgive as an act of obedience to God; let go of any attitude of resentment and vengeance. Remember that it is not about winning or losing, it is about moving forward in our relationships to a place of peace, joy, and happiness. It's a choice. Let's always choose LOVE.

 

Continued Blessings,

 

 

Sherman and Paula Newman