Mediation Musings: Generations

Sara Barnes 

The generation-spanning conundrum is familiar throughout history. In families and communities, the older generations often take the role of preservationists, the younger become the innovators, and the middle attempt to bring things into balance. For many, this generational conflict plays out within the family and workplace, with each person charting their own path.

Today, we find a unique phenomenon, with five generations who are fully participatory in modern adult life. This is the first time in history such a grand span of ages and birth years are co-existing in society in significant numbers. I’m a baby boomer and my son is a millennial, and I work with traditional, Gen X, and Gen Z folks. Since we have all grown up in different times with divergent core experiences, it requires commitment and flexibility to function productively and negotiate roles and expectations.

As Samantha Hardy of the Conflict Management Academy comments, “Everybody will have individual responses to those sociocultural influences, we don’t want to stereotype people based on their generation . . . There are usually some commonalities just from similar life experiences through things like technology and big events that happen during your lifetime.” Hardy’s comments are based in part on the work of Jean Twenge in her recently published book Generations: The Real Differences Between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers and Silents—and What They Mean for America’s Future.

As we help families, communities, and workplaces to sort our their differences we can apply the intergenerational lens to these processes. Hardy suggests we look out for core-values clashes, and offers some tips for inter-generational conflict resolution approaches:

• Understand where people from different generations are likely to be coming from, avoid stereotyping;
• Try to unpack values and needs;
• Negotiate process expectations and choices:

o  Communication options

o  Timing

o  Confidentiality

o  Safety;

• Leverage age different as complementary and not in opposition;
• Act as a translator across different generations.

As I tell students in the various courses I teach, we are the small group of people who go looking for conflict. When we find conflict, we have some skills and talents to apply in order to provide support and to help to resolve these disputes.

Here is a longer version with mention of my grandmother’s household appliance.

LEARN ABOUT ALL THE SERVICES WE PROVIDE

• Youth Mediation
• Family and Divorce Mediation Program––PMP
• Housing Mediation
• Civil Court / Small Claims
• Re-Entry Program
• Workplace Conflict Mediation and Management
• Facilitation Services
• Local Consumer Advocacy
• Agricultural Mediation
• Conflict Coaching
• Financial Conflict Coaching
• Elderly and Aging Mediation
• Classes, Workshops, Seminars, and Training Programs

Check out our WEBSITE for details.

Community Programs info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

Housing Program admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

Local Consumer Program consumer@mvmediation.org or call 508-338-2099

FEATURED SERVICE:

AGRICULTURAL & FARMING MEDIATION

Did you know that MV Mediation is one of a small number of MA mediations centers that are a part of a national network of USDA-supported farm, agriculture, and aquaculture mediation programs?

If you know of any farms, farm stands, CSAs, or agricultural businesses who have conflicts with debt, neighbors, succession planning, workplace conflict, management, or other matters, MV Mediation can help. Most services are free or low cost. Visit the USDA site for more information. Here is a brochure; please pass it on to those who may need these services. As a farm-supportive community, we want to be a help to farms and farming families on the Island and beyond.

Building Bridges Coalition--BRAZIL FEST/FESTA DO BRASIL

*New Course*

Elder & Intergenerational Family Conflict––on Zoom

Part 2 begins September 9th; Participation in Part 1 not required

8 hours, 4 sessions

Mondays September 9, 16, 23, 30 4–6pm

For mediators, lawyers, elders, multigenerational family members, Council on Aging employees, and interested community members. Learn conflict analysis, reflect on family history and messages about conflict resolution, and gain conflict-resolution planning tools. Experienced mediators receive an Advanced Mediation Certification. For more information, click here.

Introduction to Conflict Coaching

20 hours, 8 sessions

September through October, Tuesdays and Fridays 10am–12pm

Learn coaching techniques to guide individuals toward new approaches to managing conflict in everyday life. This course is a useful prep for Intro to Mediation. For more information, click here.

Conflict Resolution Essentials

15 hours, 10 sessions

October through December, Tuesdays 4–5:30pm

Learn conflict analysis, review cultural messages about conflict, and gain strategies for use in daily life. Learn to be a conflict resolver in your workplace, home, or community. For more information, click here.

Introduction to Mediation--Basics and Advanced MA Qualification

40 hours, 12 sessions (total for both segments)

October through December, Tuesdays 10am–12:30pm

The first segment is a six-session interactive course where participants learn the principles, process, and theory of facilitative mediation in a hands-on process. In the second segment, participants who wish to continue toward MA qualification will review mediation complexity and dilemmas, diversity, impasse, and ethical topics. For more information, click here.

Workplace Cohort Conflict Management

15 hours, 10 sessions

October through December, Wednesdays 9–10:30am

Improve approaches to workplace conflict with a confidential cohort of managers and supervisors. Using text, discussion, and case studies, this course is interactive. For more information, click here.

Upcoming Events

• September 5th––ACR-GNY Roundtable on Technology & Dispute Resolution: Ethics & Practicalities for Reducing Risks and Harnessing Opportunities
• September 9th––MV Mediation: Conflict Coaching Training begins
• September 10–12th––Alliance for Peacebuilding hosts PeaceCon2024
• September 24th––Elder Decision's training Elder/Adult Family Mediation training begins if you want to become fully qualified to work with elder and elder families register
• September 26th––CommunityBoards presents "What is Workplace Harassment?" with Caitlin Meredith, MPH, MA, & Cabral Bonner.

This month’s links for your reading, listening, and viewing pleasure:

• Cheaper than Couple’s Counseling: Take a 5 Second Break
• Teaching Kids How to Deal with Conflict
• Back to School Tips to reduce conflict betwen Co-Parents
• Getting Started with Managing Classroom Conflict

MEDIATORS’ CHECK-IN

resumes September 4th

Wednesdays at 4pm––all are welcome to join. Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86378014243

• 9/4/24 Family mediator check-in
• 9/11/24 Tips––narrating the process and sharing the "flight plan."
• 9/18/24 Role-play Wednesday––initial individual meeting
• 9/25/24 Meet our amazing mediators––apprentice meeting––come join if you are in your apprenticeship and talk about how it’s going

Why I Mediate

"Mediating is one of the most fulfilling activities I am part of on the island. It is a very different program than it was when I first joined, all for the better. We offer so much more . . . Thanks to all who make it as great a program as it is."

––Louis Pashman, Board member and mediator

DEIJ+B: DIVERSITY, EQUITY, INCLUSION,

JUSTICE + BELONGING

Here are a few articles to expand your DEI knowledge in celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month:

• Workplace tips and programming for Hispanic Heritage Month
• Learn about history and culture
• Pioneers of Change: Shaping the Future Together
• Children’s Toolkits (English and Spanish)

Vineyard Community Members––Help for Your Financial Well-Being

Interested in saving energy and money this heating season? Vineyard Power can help!

Vineyard Power is a nonprofit organization helping Martha’s Vineyard residents transition away from fossil fuels. From supporting you through Mass Save energy-efficiency programs to offering No-Cost Energy Coaching sessions on solar, building electrification, electric vehicles (EVs), and income eligible ratepayer assistance programs that can reduce electricity costs, Vineyard Power is your local resource for all things energy-related. By offering personalized advice and support, Vineyard Power ensures that residents are well informed and prepared to embrace a renewable energy future that is inclusive for the whole island. To get connected with Vineyard Power, visit linktr.ee/vineyardpower.

CONFLICT COACHING SERVICES

It can help you. Not therapy. Not advice. 

So, what is Conflict Coaching?

Ready to conquer your personal challenges and emerge stronger in 2024? Our one-on-one Conflict Coaching is for you. Our experienced coaches will empower you with the skills to navigate conflicts, find resolution, and pave the way for personal growth. Why choose our Individual Conflict Coaching?

• Personalized Guidance: Tailored strategies to address your unique challenges.
• Self-Discovery: Explore your strengths and areas for development in a supportive environment.
• Transformative Solutions: Overcome obstacles and build resilience for a brighter future.
• Confidence Boosting: Gain the tools to face conflicts head-on and develop potential options for resolution. Make your appointment today!

FAMILY MEDIATION PROGRAM

Divorce, Family & Conflict Resolution

We offer help talking with your spouse or partner about divorce, parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions, and communication itself, and can help you to renegotiate existing plans. We also work with reconciling couples and those who have conflicts they need help to resolve.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE FAMÍLIA E DIVÓRCIO

Divórcio, Disputas em Familia e Resolução de Conflitos

Conflitos entre marido e mulher, pais e filhos, problemas conjugais, com parceiros ou entre familiares, divórcio, custódia física e legal, planejamento para os cuidados do menor, visitação de menores, revisão do suporte financeiro e plano de visitação, divisão de bens e possível reconciliação.

info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

HOUSING MEDIATION PROGRAM

Conflict with a Tenant or Landlord?

We offer FREE MEDIATION for housing cases in Dukes and Bristol Counties and information about RAFT––rental financial assistance for back rent or moving out. Take a look at this article from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reporting about erroneous information about tenants being used and affecting homelessness and evictions.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE MORADIA

Conflitos entre o proprietário e inquilinos?

Mediação GRÁTIS para qualquer tipo de conflito relativo a sua moradia nos Condados de Dukes e Bristol, e informações sobre o RAFT- programa de assistência financeira.

admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

RE-ENTRY PROGRAM

Easier Transition from Incarceration to Community

Re-entry Mediation is FREE to incarcerated individuals (pre-release) and recently released individuals (post-release). For more information, check out our flyers for pre-released and post-released individuals.

IN-COURT AND COURT-REFERRED MEDIATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides free mediation services for eviction cases in Bristol and Dukes Counties. We are present at District Courts in Attleboro, Fall River, Taunton, and Edgartown for summary process cases. MVMP offers free services for civil cases and small claims in advance of the court date. We are also qualified to provide in-court and court-referred services for Dukes County District, Superior, Probate, and Family Courts. We provide mediation for pre-criminal and 286 E harassment cases. Our Juvenile court mediators help with cases referred from the Juvenile Court. MV Mediation waives fees for cases referred by court or with an active docket number. 

WORKPLACE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

MV Mediation provides support to resolve conflicts in the workplace. We provide workshops and develop conflict resolution projects with workplaces, nonprofit organizations, and municipal and trades workplaces. Our confidential Workplace Management Cohort for supervisors and managers is a popular offering.

FACILITATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides facilitation services for groups, boards of directors, organizations, companies, and families. Neutral and confidential facilitation allows those who are attending the meeting to fully participate. If you need facilitation services, please reach out to discuss your needs. Read this article that describes how a facilitator can help you or your organization.

“We are in a much better place since we had a facilitator help us to pull things together. Thanks to the mediation program for all your help.”

––A recent facilitation client

SOCIAL MEDIA

Following us on social media is a great way to support MV Mediation! Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. This month we focus on stress awareness and its connection to unresolved conflicts. As always, don’t miss out on helpful tips about managing conflicts in your daily life. You will also get the latest information about community events, workshops, and courses.

Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

THANK YOU, DONORS!

Thanks to all our donors who participated in MV Mediation’s Annual Appeal. We will make use of your contributions wisely. We really appreciate your generosity.



It’s never too late to donate!

DONATE HERE

Our Mission

To serve our community by providing education, outreach,

mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation,

and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.

Our Vision

To create an island of competent, capable, and

effective conflict resolvers.

Thank you for our donors and sponsors for your continued support!

At MVMP our slogan is We Can Work It Out. Would you like to borrow this slogan?

Feel free. You Can Work It Out! We are here if you need our help.

MV Mediation Program mvmediation.org

508 693-2999 Community & Court

508 693-2199 Housing