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Kindness
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:33
Relationships can be tough! Let's go ahead and admit that and get it out of the way. Dealing with each other's shortcomings, quirks and idiosyncrasies can be challenging, frustrating and wearying. No doubt there are times in all of our lives where we have wanted to say forget it or more specifically "forget you" to the person who tries our patience the most. Yet for the believer that cannot be our first line of defense. There are times when God will specifically assign people to you because it is that very "rubbing/friction" that they generate that He uses to cause you to become who you could never be without it. They are the sandpaper that He uses to polish off our rough edges. I am not suggesting by any means that there are not times when God releases us from situations and from people, because I believe that there are. But this scripture instructs us to be kind. We hear a lot today about "random acts of kindness." I would like you to consider that this is more than that. This text's meaning goes deeper than performing nice deeds that make people feel good. Even though those are important. This refers to not just simply an external change of manners but much more so an internal change of heart! It calls us to a tenderness of heart that manifests in how we treat other people, especially difficult people. I want to share 3 things with you that prove that difficult people are a gift from God.
#1 Dealing with difficult people gives us the opportunity to display humility. I Peter 5:6 says “Humble yourselves under the mighty Hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you.” Could it be that this is the way that Jesus shows up in us, more so than many other more obvious ways?
#2 Difficult people force us to our knees in prayer – When we know that we must engage with difficult people, and we know our tendency is to blow it, we recognize that we need more than what we have on our own. We know that the situation has the potential to become explosive and unpleasant and displeasing to God. We know that we need the power and presence of God in order to be able to exercise self-control and to behave in a way that glorifies Him. We have to ask Him for help.
#3 difficult people can help us to walk in greater obedience to God. Between Judas' exit and Jesus' arrest, Jesus explained it. "The ruler of this world is coming. He has no hold over Me. But I do as the Father has commanded Me so that the world may know that I love the Father" (John 14:30-31b).
When you have a displeasing and difficult person in your life, this is the attitude: "I love the Father; and therefore this person and what they represent have no power over me." It is more important to me that God be pleased than for me to set this person straight.
So my friend if you have struggled with being kind to unkind people, let today be the beginning of a whole new way of looking at those relationships that have troubled you the most. When I think about difficult people and difficult relationships, I can’t help but think about my ex-husband who died a few years ago. I don't bring this up to disparage him in any way, but the truth of the matter is that he disrespected me, our vows, and our home for years before we were divorced. He became a sullen and secretive man who was dishonest and cruel. Needless to say I was wounded beyond what I could ever explain. The depth of the betrayal was devastating to me. Yet it was God's amazing grace that allowed me to truly forgive him and to move forward without dragging that heavy load with me. When I got the call that he was dead, there was nothing that I wished that I had said, nothing that would have done differently, there was nothing between us any longer that caused me pain or resentment. He was a complex and difficult man, who added much sorrow and struggle to my life. But the Lord helped me to see that He would use my suffering to glorify Himself and that there was nothing that my ex-husband could do that would change His love for me, nor could he change God's plan and purpose for my life. As a matter of fact, God allowed him to be the catalyst to propel me to another level of faith and courage. Let God do in you what glorifies Himself, trusting Him to use whomever and whatever He chooses.
Reflect – Who is that one person that pushes your buttons and brings out of you a level of frustration that no one else can? You have identified your starting point. Now let the Holy Spirit take over.
Response- “So then, while we [as individual believers] have the opportunity, let us do good to all people [not only being helpful, but also doing that which promotes their spiritual well-being], and especially [be a blessing] to those of the household of faith (born-again believers).” Galatians 6:10
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