From Srila Prabhupada:

Keeping the Peace - Gunagrahi das Goswami

Since the time I posted the last two entries in my blog, a lot of devotees have expressed a great deal of interest in the subjects presented. Therefore, below is an attempt to further delve into these subjects with the aim of enabling us to continue to deeply reflect upon them. I wrote the post after consulting with one of my godbrothers. From time to time my entries will not only reflect my research and understanding, but theirs as well.

Srila Prabhupada has many times explained the process of thinking, feeling, willing, and then action. When someone offends us, or does something bad to us, it may not be possible to immediately, or even after a short time, actually feel the proper emotions that were described in my previous two posts: no anger, resentment, frustration, but rather compassion and love. The key seems to be to strengthen the intelligence so that it can direct the mind's thinking on the issue and thus, gradually, after practice, one's feelings will come in line with the proper thinking. That is to say, if my intelligence is situated properly in the words of guru, sadhu, and sastra, then even if my emotions don't follow (I remember tat te nukampam but I still feel angry, resentful, etc.) I can at least control my actions while gradually, by practicing thinking and seeing things in the proper perspective, the proper emotions will evolve. We see that Srila Prabhupada is helping in this way because he so often makes the point of how a devotee sees reverses, difficulties, etc. Therefore a key would seem to be to regularly hear this essential point from many different angles of vision. Someone really interested in developing the proper vision, feelings, and appropriate actions in this matter, might make a point to note different incidents where this philosophical principle is illustrated and/or explained.

Along these lines here are two nice examples:
When Lord Krsna defeated and humiliated Rukmini�s brother, Rukmi, after kidnapping Rukmini, Lord Balarama, to pacify her, reminds her - and us - "Saintly lady, please do not be displeased with Us out of anxiety for your brother's disfigurement. No one but oneself is responsible for one's joy and grief, for a man experiences the result of his own deeds." (SB 10.54.38).