Mediation Musings: Othering, Us, Belonging

Sara Barnes 

The idea of othering as a verb has been advanced by Professor john a. powell, founder of the Othering and Belonging Institute at University of California, Berkeley. According to powell, “Othering is not about liking or disliking someone. It is based on the conscious or unconscious assumption that a certain identified group poses a threat…. Overwhelmingly, people don’t 'know’ those that they are Othering.”

Today, within the Vineyard’s year-round population is a large percentage, possibly up to 30 percent, of residents with Brazilian heritage. These individuals and families contribute significantly to the local economy, fill essential service roles, and add richness to the island’s cultural landscape. In our role as a conflict resolution community-centric organization, we have worked hard to invite Brazilian islanders to make use of our services. With Portuguese speakers on our staff and a dedication to diversity, equity, and inclusion at the core of our mission, we are proud that our organization has enacted the opposite of othering for those with Brazilian roots. 

We have handled cases, though, where the attitude from non-Brazilians has been less than welcoming. In our yearly needs assessment process, where we review unresolved conflict resolution needs, we have uncovered racism and marginalization of the Brazilians who live here, by those who may consider members of the group as “others.”

In October, when staff member Paula Reidbord and Pricila Vilaca came up with the idea of Brazil Fest, building on an idea that originated with the MV Mediation Community Advisory Board, it was a dream that seemed unlikely, though exciting. Nine months later, our newly formed Building Bridges Coalition is birthing a festival that we hope will help to create a placemark in the calendar to celebrate the Martha’s Vineyard Brazilian residents’ culture and contributions.

On June 16, when hundreds of Brazilians and non-Brazilians celebrate Brazil Fest together at the Ag Hall, it is our sincere hope that divisions between groups can be bridged, and we can do away with the other and replace it with belonging that endures. I’d like to learn a bit of Portuguese––would you, too? Here are two Portuguese phrases that seem appropriate:

Todos pertencemos. Unidos somos mais fortes!

We all belong. Together we are stronger!

Read a longer version of this Mediator Musings essay here.

LEARN ABOUT ALL THE SERVICES WE PROVIDE

• Youth Mediation
• Family and Divorce Mediation Program––PMP
• Housing Mediation
• Civil Court / Small Claims
• Re-Entry Program
• Workplace Conflict Mediation and Management
• Facilitation Services
• Local Consumer Advocacy
• Agricultural Mediation
• Conflict Coaching
• Financial Conflict Coaching
• Elderly and Aging Mediation
• Classes, Workshops, Seminars, and Training Programs

Check out our WEBSITE for details.

Community Programs info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

Housing Program admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

Take a look at the profile of our organization in this Community Mediation Moment by National Association for Community Mediation. Executive Director Sara Barnes tells about our work. Mediation Moment

FEATURED SERVICE:

Local Consumer Program - Andrea Wong Monteiro

MV Mediation is part of the Massachusetts Attorney General’s Office statewide network of Local Consumer Program (LCP) agencies. We are committed to protecting consumers from unfair or deceptive business practices. As advocates, we provide consumer education and advocacy between consumers and businesses and/or service providers, to reach a resolution agreeable to both parties.

Consumer complaints include auto repair, auto sales, credit reports, debt collection, home improvement contracts, home warranties, housing, retail, telecom, travel (airlines, cruises, timeshares), and utilities concerns. Although not every consumer complaint concludes with a resolution, there are many consumers that MV LCP has successfully advocated for, resulting in direct payment back to the consumer.

One satisfied consumer commented:

“I am happy you were able to help me recover the bulk of the loss for these kids! They are the ones who are thrilled! I cannot thank you enough for your OUTSTANDING customer service! If there is a survey or anything I can complete to commend you, PLEASE send it to me!!! You set the bar high and I truly appreciate all you did. You deserve to be recognized.”

Building Bridges Coalition--BRAZIL FEST/FESTA DO BRASIL

THANK YOU TO

BRAZIL FEST/FESTA DO BRASIL

BUSINESS SPONSORS

AND

COMMUNITY IN-KIND DONORS

UPCOMING COURSES

*New Course*

Elder & Intergenerational Family Conflict––on Zoom

16 hours, 8 sessions

Wednesdays & Thursdays July 10, 11, 17, 18––10am–12pm

Mondays September 9, 16, 23, 30––4–6pm

For mediators, lawyers, elders, multigenerational family members, Council on Aging employees, and interested community members. Learn conflict analysis, reflect on family history and messages about conflict resolution, and gain conflict-resolution planning tools. Experienced mediators receive an Advanced Mediation Certification.

Introduction to Conflict Coaching

20 hours, 8 sessions

September through October, Tuesdays and Fridays 10am–12pm

Learn coaching techniques to guide individuals toward new approaches to managing conflict in everyday life. This course is a useful prep for Intro to Mediation. For more information, click here.

Conflict Resolution Essentials

15 hours, 10 sessions

October through December, Thursdays 4–5:30pm

Learn conflict analysis, review cultural messages about conflict, and gain strategies for use in daily life. Learn to be a conflict resolver in your workplace, home, or community. For more information, click here.

Introduction to Mediation--Basics and Advanced MA Qualification

40 hours, 12 sessions (total for both segments)

October through December, Tuesdays 10am–12:30pm

The first segment is a six-session interactive course where participants learn the principles, process, and theory of facilitative mediation in a hands-on process. In the second segment, participants who wish to continue toward MA qualification will review mediation complexity and dilemmas, diversity, impasse, and ethical topics. For more information, click here.

Workplace Cohort Conflict Management

15 hours, 10 sessions

October through December, Wednesdays 9–10:30am

Improve approaches to workplace conflict with a confidential cohort of managers and supervisors. Using text, discussion, and case studies, this course is interactive. For more information, click here.

Upcoming Events

• June 12th––Implicit Bias: Awareness & Tools for Change presented by Community Boards of San Francisco
• June 13th–14th–– The Vanguard Voices Speak Up Summit 2024
• June 26th––David Hoffman discusses Managing the Negotiation Within
• July 3rd––Mediators Beyond Borders International webinar: WordsView––Aligning Words, Aligning Relationships
• July 15th–19th––Introduction to Restorative Justice presented by Pathways to Restorative Communities
• July 25th––The Science of Connection: Polyvagal Tools for Conflict Resolution with Pauline Romas

This month’s links for your reading, listening, and viewing pleasure:

• Understand some of the basic cognitive biases that affect us daily
• Learn how the way we frame a conflict has a powerful impact on the solutions we see
• Unveiling the Cost of Miscommunication in the Workplace
• Handling Seasonal and Non-Seasonal Workers Who Don't Get Along
• College Students: Tips for Navigating Your Summer Return to Home
• Tips for Parents of Returning College Students
• Interested in Having a Conversation for the Summer before Your Child Goes Off to College?

MEDIATORS’ CHECK-IN

Wednesdays at 4pm––all are welcome to join. Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86378014243

• 6/5/24 Family mediator check-in
• 6/12/24 Tips: Keeping track of details in mediation
• 6/19/24 Role-play Wednesday––dealing with lurkers, drop-ins
• 6/26/24 Meet our amazing mediators––apprentice meeting--come join if you are in your apprenticeship and talk about how it's going.

Why I Mediate

We love to hear from clients!

Because of mediation, the conflict that existed for over 8 years was finally resolved. We didn't reach agreement during the mediation, but we used some of the skills we saw demonstrated in mediation afterwards. It took time, but we finally gained momentum to resolve the conflict. This experience resulted in not only a resolution of a long-standing conflict but also a true friendship.

––Mediation client, reporting back a year after mediation

DEIJ+B: DIVERSITY, EQUITY, INCLUSION,

JUSTICE + BELONGING

Here are a few articles to expand your DEI knowledge:

Pride Month:

• How to Be an Ally
• Reflections on Being a Gay Mediator
• Toolbox for Mediating with LGBTQIA Litigants
• Lavender Graduations

Juneteenth:

• NYT Article: What Is Juneteenth?
• Henry Louis Gates Video
• Activities on MV
• Juneteenth Celebrations over Time in Pictures

Other:

• Gender and Privilege in Negotiation, a video by Harvard's Program on Negotiation
• Follow the Science: Proven Strategies for Reducing Unconscious Bias
• Talking about Race with Mediators

Take a look at the work two members of MV Mediation are doing in the local jails. Congratulations, Kim and Bob, for your great work.

CONFLICT COACHING SERVICES

It can help you. Not therapy. Not advice. 

So, what is Conflict Coaching?

Ready to conquer your personal challenges and emerge stronger in 2024? Our one-on-one Conflict Coaching is for you. Our experienced coaches will empower you with the skills to navigate conflicts, find resolution, and pave the way for personal growth. Why choose our Individual Conflict Coaching?

• Personalized Guidance: Tailored strategies to address your unique challenges.
• Self-Discovery: Explore your strengths and areas for development in a supportive environment.
• Transformative Solutions: Overcome obstacles and build resilience for a brighter future.
• Confidence Boosting: Gain the tools to face conflicts head-on and develop potential options for resolution. Make your appointment today!

AGRICULTURAL MEDIATION

Martha’s Vineyard Mediation is part of a national network of USDA-supported farm, agriculture, and aquaculture mediation programs. If you know of any farms, farm stands, CSAs, or agricultural/aquacultural businesses, MV Mediation can help. Most services are free or low cost through USDA funding. We work with farms in Dukes, Barnstable, Bristol, and Plymouth Counties. Our brochure is here; please pass it on to those who may need these services.

FAMILY MEDIATION PROGRAM

Divorce, Family & Conflict Resolution

We offer help talking with your spouse or partner about divorce, parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions, and communication itself, and can help you to renegotiate existing plans. We also work with reconciling couples and those who have conflicts they need help to resolve.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE FAMÍLIA E DIVÓRCIO

Divórcio, Disputas em Familia e Resolução de Conflitos

Conflitos entre marido e mulher, pais e filhos, problemas conjugais, com parceiros ou entre familiares, divórcio, custódia física e legal, planejamento para os cuidados do menor, visitação de menores, revisão do suporte financeiro e plano de visitação, divisão de bens e possível reconciliação.

info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

HOUSING MEDIATION PROGRAM

Conflict with a Tenant or Landlord?

We offer FREE MEDIATION for housing cases in Dukes and Bristol Counties and information about RAFT––rental financial assistance for back rent or moving out. Take a look at this article from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reporting about erroneous information about tenants being used and affecting homelessness and evictions.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE MORADIA

Conflitos entre o proprietário e inquilinos?

Mediação GRÁTIS para qualquer tipo de conflito relativo a sua moradia nos Condados de Dukes e Bristol, e informações sobre o RAFT- programa de assistência financeira.

admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

RE-ENTRY PROGRAM

Easier Transition from Incarceration to Community

Re-entry Mediation is FREE to incarcerated individuals (pre-release) and recently released individuals (post-release). For more information, check out our flyers for pre-released and post-released individuals.

IN-COURT AND COURT-REFERRED MEDIATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides free mediation services for eviction cases in Bristol and Dukes Counties. We are present at District Courts in Attleboro, Fall River, Taunton, and Edgartown for summary process cases. MVMP offers free services for civil cases and small claims in advance of the court date. We are also qualified to provide in-court and court-referred services for Dukes County District, Superior, Probate, and Family Courts. We provide mediation for pre-criminal and 286 E harassment cases. Our Juvenile court mediators help with cases referred from the Juvenile Court. MV Mediation waives fees for cases referred by court or with an active docket number. 

WORKPLACE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

MV Mediation provides support to resolve conflicts in the workplace. We provide workshops and develop conflict resolution projects with workplaces, nonprofit organizations, and municipal and trades workplaces. Our confidential Workplace Management Cohort for supervisors and managers is a popular offering.

FACILITATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides facilitation services for groups, boards of directors, organizations, companies, and families. Neutral and confidential facilitation allows those who are attending the meeting to fully participate. If you need facilitation services, please reach out to discuss your needs. Read this article that describes how a facilitator can help you or your organization.

“We are in a much better place since we had a facilitator help us to pull things together. Thanks to the mediation program for all your help.”

––A recent facilitation client

SOCIAL MEDIA

Following us on social media is a great way to support MV Mediation! Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. This month we focus on stress awareness and its connection to unresolved conflicts. As always, don’t miss out on helpful tips about managing conflicts in your daily life. You will also get the latest information about community events, workshops, and courses.

Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

THANK YOU, DONORS!

Thanks to all our donors who participated in MV Mediation’s Annual Appeal. We will make use of your contributions wisely. We really appreciate your generosity.



It’s never too late to donate!

DONATE HERE

Our Mission

To serve our community by providing education, outreach,

mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation,

and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.

Our Vision

To create an island of competent, capable, and

effective conflict resolvers.

Thank you for our donors and sponsors for your continued support!

At MVMP our slogan is We Can Work It Out. Would you like to borrow this slogan?

Feel free. You Can Work It Out! We are here if you need our help.

MV Mediation Program mvmediation.org

508 693-2999 Community & Court

508 693-2199 Housing