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Family Picnic Time!
Join us for an unforgettable evening at the FFF Family Summer Picnic just for foster, adoptive and kinship families!
Mark your calendars for Friday, August 2, from 5:30 to 7:30 PM, and head over to beautiful Nottoway Park in Vienna. Note, this is a new location from the past several years.
Bring your family and friends to enjoy:
- A family service project
- Community partners
- Delicious BBQ dinner and drinks
- Live entertainment and activities
- Relaxation and connection with other formed families.
The event is free but registration is required! REGISTER HERE.
Don't miss out on this fantastic opportunity to create fun summer memories.
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Fall Youth Peer Support Groups Registration Open
Our Stronger Together skills and peer support group is designed for teens and young adults age 14-22 who have lived experiences in one or more service systems such as:
- Social services
- Special education
- Mental health services
- Substance use treatment/recovery
Facilitated by a professional clinician, Stronger Together will meet weekly, Tuesday evenings, October 1 through November 19 in Fairfax city.
The group introduces tools that can be used to navigate everyday challenges, and emphasizes positive peer supports as a context for strengths-based growth. A light dinner will be served each evening. Regular weekly attendance is expected.
The group is offered free of charge but registration is required.
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FREE Summer Children's Theater
In partnership with the Wolf Trap Children's Theatre-in-the-Woods, FFF is pleased to offer a limited number of FREE tickets to upcoming performances. Wolf Trap national performing arts park is in Vienna, near the Tyson's Corner area.
Request up to 4 tickets for:
Learn more about the specific shows HERE.
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Kinship Services Webinar - August 13
On August 13 at 7 PM, join FFF for an imporant webinar Addressing Common Concerns for Kinship Caregivers webinar. We are pleased to host attorney Valerie L’Herrou, Deputy Director of the Center for Family Advocacy at the Virginia Poverty Law Center, to discuss navigating the system of financial supports, health care, legal issues, education concerns, barriers to finding help, and maintaining family relationships.
REGISTER for the webinar HERE.
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Back to School Prep
Back by popular demand, this FFF webinar addresses the unique challenges faced by formed families as they navigate new academic, social, and behavioral expectations and establish new relationships with educators and peers.
Join us on August 20 at 7 PM and gain strategies for creating effective routines, managing anxiety, helping children regulate, and building effective working relationships with school staff.
Certificates of attendance are available to those who attend live on 8/20.
REGISTER HERE.
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Family Celebrations Made Extra Delicious
FFF partners with Cake4Kids to deliver customized cakes and baked goods to children, youth and young adults in foster, adoptive and kinship families. The treats help families celebrate birthdays, adoption days, religious ceremonies, and other special events. The cupcakes on right helped a family celebrate a new graduate!
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Families complete a brief form to apply for treats at least two weeks in advance of the special event. Volunteer bakers prepare the treats and FFF coordinates pick-up by families at our office in Fairfax City. Learn more and request treats for July & August HERE. | |
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Peer Support Group
Peer support has been shown to be effective in boosting outcomes for kids and families.
We offer 2 formats of our Formed Families Together peer-led support group. Meetings are peer-led and just for foster, adoptive and kinship parents and caregivers. The group gathers twice a month:
- VIRTUAL peer support group, first Sunday evenings, 7:30 - 9 PM
- IN PERSON peer support group in Fairfax, third Wednesday evenings, 7 - 8:30 PM
Note that FFT groups will NOT meet in July.
Learn more and register for both groups HERE.
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Kinship Support Group
Formed Families Forward hosts meetings of the Fairfax Kinship Support Group. The Group breaks for July; both virtual and in-person meetings resume in August.
Made possible with the support of Fairfax County Department of Family Services and Department of Neighborhood and Community Services, the group offers kinship caregivers (extended family members or close family friends raising others' children) an opportunity for support and connection. Group meetings are facilitated by clinicians. The in-person group meetings include child care and family dinner. FREE but advanced registration is required.
Learn more HERE.
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Reframing Tough Behaviors
Q: I heard at one of your workshops that we need to reframe our thinking from “my child is not giving me a hard time” to “my child is having a hard time.” It’s hard for me to believe that when my child is not listening, lying, hitting, melting down or acting completely disrespectful that he is not purposefully giving me a hard time. Can you please explain this to me?
A: When our children are having a tough time, they usually show it in the most obnoxious ways! In those moments when they are screaming and calling you names, it is really hard to remember they are not being belligerent but instead is feeling bad and is acting out in the only way they know how. When children become extremely overwhelmed, are having flashbacks of early trauma or they are experiencing sensory overload they may have a meltdown where they lose control over their behaviors. This is an automatic nervous system response and not something our kids can consciously control.
Before we begin with strategies to help with the behaviors, let’s focus a little on the brain. We need to realize that behavior is a brain thing. dysregulated. We need to get out of the habit of thinking that behavior is about character or not having a big enough consequence or punishment. Behavior is about what's happening in the brain and nervous system. Tough behaviors are not a reflection of who your child is, or who you are.
Some strategies to use before the behaviors begin include: increasing connection, felt safety, and coregulation in order to help your child gain skills to help their brain. To increase connection, find even brief one-on-one time with your child, take an interest in what they are passionate about or even find a hobby you could do together.
For ideas to increase felt safety, check out the Q&A in April’s enews. Regulation, as Dan Siegel explains in Parenting From The Inside Out, is keeping the accelerator and the brakes of energy and arousal in balance. Our children need us to co-regulate with them so they can learn regulation skills. Strengthening routines, identifying sensory outlets, restricting screen time and increasing exercise are all great co-regulation.
When a child has big, challenging behaviors, stay calm, and project calm. If we react and are dysregulated ourselves, we cannot support our child effectively. Practice taking deep breaths, counting backwards, or have a mantra to keep yourself regulated, “I can think calm and be calm” or back to your question, “He is not giving me a hard time, he is having a hard time.”
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After the behaviors and dysregulation is over and things are calmer, you can address the situation and work together to brainstorm some ideas on what to do next time this occurs. Instead of punishing your child for acting out, begin to teach them ways to cope with these big feelings.
If your child hurt someone, support them to make a repair with the impacted person. If your child made a mess or destroyed something, help them clean it up and work on a plan to replace the items. Being aware that behaviors are coming from the brain and nervous system is not excusing bad behavior and letting your child get away with acting up. Rather, we need to rethink the typical strategies and help them grow their brain to reduce the tough behaviors.
If you are interested in learning more about this topic, join us for FFF's Changing Tough Behavior: Focus on the Nervous System webinar on Tuesday, September 10 at 7 PM.
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EVENTS
Here we share our own FFF and others' trainings and events. Find more on our EVENTS calendar HERE.
August 1 - next VIRTUAL meeting of Fairfax Kinship Peer Support Group hosted by FFF.
August 4 - next VIRTUAL meeting of Formed Families Together parent and caregiver peer support group, hosted by FFF.
August 13 - Addressing Common Concerns of Kinship Caregivers webinar with Valerie L'Herrou, hosted by FFF.
August 15 - next IN-PERSON meeting of Fairfax Kinship Peer Support Group hosted by FFF, Fairfax.
August 20 - Starting the School Year Strong: Strategies for Foster, Adoptive and Kinship Families webinar, presented by FFF.
August 21 - next IN-PERSON meeting of Formed Families Together parent and caregiver peer support group, hosted by FFF, Fairfax.
September 10 - Changing Tough Behavior: A Focus on the Nervous System webinar, presented by FFF.
September 26 - Together is Better: Building Collaborative Relationships with School Staff webinar, presented by FFF.
October 1 - first session of Stronger Together Youth and Young Adult Peer Support group, hosted by FFF, Fairfax.
AVAILABLE NOW- New and recorded workshops from school division Parent & Family Resource Centers:
Alexandria City Public Schools HERE.
Arlington Public Schools HERE.
Fairfax Co. Public Schools HERE.
Falls Church City Public Schools Parent University HERE.
Loudoun Co. Public Schools HERE.
Prince William Co. Public Schools HERE.
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Have You Liked Us Lately?
Have you checked out our FFF Facebook and Instagram lately?
We work hard to post daily information and resources (and now some video Reels!) for families formed through foster care, adoption and kinship care. Let us know what information is most helpful and what else you would benefit from.
Please follow, Like and Share our FFF social media. Every day, we post information, events and programs on Facebook and Instagram.
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Moving Formed Families to Better Outcomes
Formed Families Forward provides training and support to northern Virginia families formed through adoption, foster care and kinship care who are raising children and youth with special needs. We also serve professionals who work with our families. Consultations, trainings and most events are free of charge to parents and caregivers raising children and youth with special needs.
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