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Last month I wrote about
7 STEPS to Unconditional Self-Love for a Better
and Healthier Quality of Life
.
I received a lot of positive feedback on the topic of self-love and felt it merited additional discussion. My journey into healing, introspection and self-love started when I was in my early twenties, at a time when the whole concept of how our mind and body are connected started to fascinate me, and became my whole new paradigm of thinking, feeling and being.
In trying to relate more personally to the topic of se
lf-love, one of the loves of my life came to mind . . . dance. I continue to dance as an expression of my joy of life, as something enjoyable that I do, without a lot of reflection, but realize, in this moment, that dance has become part of my being. When dancing, it consumes my awareness, as it takes discipline and concentration to perfect moves on the dance floor, and it comes with unavoidable pain, mostly associated with a leg pull, an
kle turn or overstretched muscle.
Like dance, self- love takes discipline and concentration, and if you love yourself enough, you learn to perform through pain by letting it go. While the 7 Steps to Self-Love, as outlined in October's BLOG, are important, the transition to practicing self-love as a way of life also requires Acceptance, Awareness and Inner Strength.
So how do we maintain the practice of loving ourselves?
Acceptance
- Be kind to yourself. Never speak a bad word about yourself or look down on yourself for any reason. You are a human being like everyone else, and you learn at your own pace and you always do the best that you can with the information that is available to you at any given moment. If you make mistake, acknowledge it, own it and learn from it so next time you will know better.
- Accept yourself 100% where you are right now. One of the biggest issues that disturbs our body and mind inner peace, is the inner struggle. It is OK to be who you are and where you are in life exactly at every given moment. Measuring up to someone else's standards or trying to please others, can deplete your energy in a huge way which affects your well- being, self- esteem and the level of your happiness.
- Self- Forgiveness. This can be one of the most difficult lessons to learn in life. Always be kind to yourself and accept your humanness, which comes with making wrong choices and mistakes at times. We can only do what we know based on our level of consciousness at times. We would not be upset if a child in grammar school could not solve a math exercises that was thought in high school. Yes, many times we do it to ourselves. If we look at life as a school that helps us to grow and learn, we take the unnecessary pressure from ourselves.
- Appreciate yourself. Appreciate your path, your life, your effort and your progress in life. Frequently we wait for others to give us a compliment or say something nice about us, but why wait? And why give others so much power, our sense of self-value is only dependent on what we think of ourselves and not what other think of us.
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Awareness
- Be in the present moment. Mind-full awareness is to be focused on what is right here and now. It is a very powerful tool to achieve and cultivate inner peace. Oftentimes our minds live with regrets of the past and anxiousness about the future. Training yourself, training the mind to stay present and focus on a NOW, can be challenging, but hugely rewording process. When you think about it, life is only NOW. Now is all that there is, so don't miss it. Tomorrow or yesterday are only projections of our mind.
- Be gentle with yourself. Slow down. Cultivate some ME time. Spend time with you on a regular basis. It will give you a chance to observe yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings and simply be with your own soul. There is such a focus on business in our culture, which only drives us away from ourselves and from one another.
- Laughter. Joy. Happiness. Honestly, this is one of the best medicines you can give your body. When we are laughing with lightheartedness and enjoy ourselves, our brain releases happy hormones which are good for your health. Plan and schedule those moments on a regular basis, not when you feel like doing them. Worry is going to accomplish nothing, so go ahead and watch that comedy show and simply tell your mind to be quiet. Yes, you have that much power to do that. You are not your mind.
- Train your mind. Our mind is not good or bad, it is a tool to be used for our benefit, not an uncontrollable force that runs your life. Have you noticed that there is like a constant back and forth conversation that goes on in your head, yes, we all do it. Most of our unhappiness comes from our thoughts. Our mind is beautiful, when we train it, so it serves us and not runs us. There is so much peace and joy inside of each one of us, especially when we tap deeper into ourselves and quiet the mind.
- All that you look for is already inside of you. Isn't it an inspiring and freeing statement. Oftentimes we wait for or look for things of which we deprive ourselves. If you want love, love yourself. If you want appreciation, being valued, cherished, you must give it all to yourself first. The outside world, can only give us back what we are willing to give ourselves.
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Inner Strength
- Stand up for yourself. I know that could be a hard one. There are so many cultural and society rules that go against it. Frequently we feel that because I am humble and polite person, I must take people's criticism. You can be humble and polite, but if someone is too hard you, you can ask them kindly to stop. You would do it for your kid, right? So why not do it for yourself. Each time when you pass the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say something nice and kind to yourself.
- Embrace pain as a transitory component of self-love Whatever pain life brings you, it only lasts a moment in time. Don't hold on to it, rather watch it pass through your heart and let go. Pain creates a higher sense of awareness. Accept it as an opportunity to love yourself even more.
- Lighten up! Yes, many times, we really take this life and ourselves way too seriously. Shake it all off and let go of the burden that you carry. So, go on a new adventure, even if it is it just to find a new way to commute to work. Change your routines. You soul really wants to live and have fun!!
Look at Acceptance, Awareness and the development of Inner Strength as actions towards happiness and a healthier you. It is so easy to be preoccupied with the roles we play in our lives, but imagine how different we show up in our lives if we consistently come from the place of Self-Love and Self-Acceptance? This is how we can change our own lives and those around us. It is your choice and it is your life, what do you chose today? Are you going to sit this one out or swing in the dance of joy, love and compassion?
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