Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Life is ironic in a way, that my whole world completely stopped 6 years ago today, when she left us forever. The world kept moving so quickly for everyone else around me. 

Kristen was much more than a big sister to me, she was my closest friend, a soulmate of some sort. When she laughed, I laughed with her. I admired her beautiful smile and how her face lit up her bright blue eyes. 

On the unfortunate days when she cried, my soul wept with hers, wishing I could take her heartache away. I believe that even if I would have been blessed enough to have her for 80 more years on Earth with me, to grow into funny old women together, it still wouldn't have been long enough. 

She was literally my "other half" in life. Whoever quoted, "Time heals all wounds" was wrong- dead wrong! Time doesn't heal, it only shows you the length of time of how long you've gotten through something. Some days are ok and some days are barely making it to understand, "Why? Why her?" 

I still wake up thinking of her unforgettable life, and I go to sleep praying that I will see her in my dreams. 

Time gives me the opportunity to remember the amazing memories that we shared. It's given me the chance to reflect on how great Gods love really is! His love for her and for me. 

At her sickest point, I begged God to heal her broken body, and now I understand that He did just that. 

On April 30, 2008, God wrapped her up in His arms, called her home, and she was finally free of cancer- completely healed! God has begun healing my heart from the deep sadness and anger it once knew. I've learned that time doesn't heal, God does! He has shown me that she had a bigger purpose in her life, one that I couldn't comprehend. Kristen would be here for only a brief time, yet leave a permanent mark on so many! 

Over the last 6 years of missing her, I've learned that on that day, when I once believed my world ended, that instead it turned out to be the day that my life was actually just beginning. 

I didn't understand it then, but I would never see life the same way again. I would never look at others the same. Today I see strangers and give a smile thinking to myself, "What if they are going through a similar struggle as I once did?" 

After that day on April 30, 2008, I finally saw and appreciated how everyday was a true gift. Through Kristen's life, she taught me how to live.  I love you forever, Kristen. We may be parted on Earth, but you have never left my heart... Kisses to heaven.

 This Sunday, May 4, 2014 in honor of my sister Kristen, the Kristen Renee Foundation will 

join thousands of runners and walkers supporting the brain tumor community to participate in the 17th Annual Race for Hope - DC at Freedom Plaza in Washington, DC. If you would like more information about the race, please email me at admin@kristenreneefoundation.org .

If you would like to make a donation of any amount to the Kristen Renee Foundation please visit www.kristenrenee.org  or CLICK HERE TO DONATE .

Thank you for allowing me to share what is on my heart today, as my family and I remember the beautiful life of Kristen.