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Tourette Syndrome is a neurological disorder that causes me to make uncontrollable noises and movements. Sometimes these noises and movements can affect my everyday life, including horseback riding.
I often will get confusing looks, smirks, or even laughs when I enter school. Every time I jerk my arms or make a weird sound I bring myself unwanted attention. It’s very stressful waiting for the next moment someone will hear you ‘tic’ and decide to retort back with loud snickers as they walk away.
Even then, that is not my everyday problem. Each day I face having to fight my tics to do simple tasks like type on the computer, write math problems, rest, and even horseback ride.
Thankfully I have learned to manage my tics so they are not as seen, but even if you don’t see them, that doesn’t mean I’m not still suppressing them. When I feel my anxiety bubble up or I am in a high pressure situation I work harder to suppress my tics. Because Tourette Syndrome either wanes or waxes as you age, with not a lot of knowledge of which one at which time, sometimes controlling the tics is easy, sometimes they are uncontrollable.
The problem is, tics feel like a jolting shock running through you, with the only way to stop it is to tic. If you suppress all those shocks long enough it gets too much to hold and you end up ticing more. Which is why IEA has been such a great tool for me in managing my tics. Having to focus on forming a quick and respectful bond with my draw on the spot allows for me to train myself to quiet my tics. I need to be focused and be as clear to the horse as possible. I can’t accidentally give the wrong cue or cluck at the wrong time or we both might get confused.
Beyond the arena, the IEA community itself has been wonderful, kind, and caring towards asking insightful questions and treating me equally. Whenever my tics are noticeable, whether it be a group lesson or at a show, riders always ask respectful questions and seem genuinely interested in how I combat Tourette Syndrome.
I want anyone facing difficulties beyond their control to know that there are people out there who care and will respect you. People will be there to stick up for you and learn in any way they can. Some days are harder than others but I have never doubted for a second that my coaches, team, and the IEA community have my back.
We can always learn more, including myself. That’s what is so great about diversity, it gives us an outlet to people’s lives we may not experience on our own. And in doing so we create a more understanding and accommodating community that is there for each and every person.
#MyIEA highlights member stories from across the nation on how IEA has impacted their lives. Want to submit a story or learn more? Email montana@rideiea.org.
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