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BUILDING SOCIAL SKILLS
One of the most difficult challenges for kids with learning and thinking differences is related to their social skills. It can be hard to make and keep friends. Lots of kids with sensory issues get overwhelmed with smells, sounds and environments. They tend to "not have a filter," blurting out loudly and unexpectedly what's on their mind, like "EWW that smells." If the schedule changes, it can be really frustrating, and they might overreact by crying or showing anger, instead of being more flexible and using their words to express their feelings. All of these things can improve though, if they can find help to build their social skills.
Here's what you can do:
Ask for help at school. Some schools have the resources to offer "lunch bunch" skills' groups, or even one-on-one or small group counseling for children to learn how to use their words to engage and take turns with other kids at school. These services though are not always just offered, you may need to ask about it first. For kids with a 504 or IEP sometimes these services can be added into their plan. And if everyone on the team agrees it should be included, then the services must be provided.
Head to a local library and ask the librarian to help you find books on emotions, social skills and coping mechanisms. Kids need to learn all about emotions and feelings in general, before they can really understand what's happening in different situations that impact them individually. What's the difference between being mad, sad, angry, disappointed, scared, hungry or sleepy?
If you happen to be watching a movie or video together, and see a situation that's a teachable moment where the character was upset or happy, or just feeling any specific emotion, pause the video and ask what might happen next?
If you are at the playground and witness another child pushing another, or saying mean things, talk about it. Everyday situations kids can see unfold in front of them, that don't involve them at all, will help them to learn without their own specific emotions being attached to it.
Re-do situations. Kids will impulsively say and do things. A really powerful strategy to help them learn is to offer an opportunity to "re-do" or try it again. Let's say you see a child go to another and just take the toy out of their hand, and the other child is now upset. Get the toy, give it back to the other child and encourage the child who took it to try again. This time though they should use their words and say, "Can I have a turn?" Give them the words to say, a script to follow, and you can even show them what you expect by modeling it for them. Let them know, the other child might say yes, or they could also say no, and that's okay. If the child says no, you will set a timer for 5 minutes, they can pick something else to do, and when it goes off they can ask for a turn again if they would like.
Article by Keri Wilmot, Pediatric Occupational Therapist (OTR)
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