November 2023

Everyday Connections

Make Us Stronger

Hello Friends!

One of the things I love about civity work is being in relationship with people who are doing wonderful things. It’s an honor to be in conversation with them, and an even greater honor to be working with them. And by them I mean you!

In September, at the American Democracy Summit in Los Angeles, I was immersed in an amazing three days of energizing discussions about what we can do to strengthen and protect our democracy. My personal highlight was Danielle Allen's speech challenging everyone to get off our duffs and do something. It was a stem-winder!

And then two weeks later, at the Building Connected Communities conference at Harvard, tears came to my eyes hearing Surgeon General Vivek Murthy urge us to greater connectedness to combat loneliness and social isolation.

Though I think I was the only person at both of those conferences, I felt at home in each. Democracy = Connection = Civity. For more, read Palma’s article about how these threads weave together.

While I was on the East Coast, I had the opportunity to stop in Providence, RI, to visit with the National Leadership Network (NLN), one of our largest partners. Spearheaded by Leadership Rhode Island, NLN is a collaboration that brings together the 700,000+ alumni of the more than 800 leadership programs grounded in communities across the U.S. Earlier this year, Lucy facilitated a Civity workshop at the Association of Leadership Programs (ALP) annual conference, and I am thrilled to announce that we will be partnering with NLN and ALP to offer a Civity track at next year’s conference!

Our continuing work with people in communities grappling with tough issues keeps us aware of why and how civity makes a difference. Check out:

Humphrey’s article, which highlights our Meta-supported work to build a more connected community around housing in California.

And Lucy’s introduction of Faces of Civity – a new feature on our website – which highlights leaders in the climate change and environmental field, sharing their stories about using civity in their work.

We always welcome getting to know fellow travelers! Lend an ear to our latest podcast – where Riaz Patel talks about how he builds civity via his awesome ConnectEffect experience.

Finally, we want to introduce our newest partner, the Civic Health Project (CHP). We are honored to have received a keystone grant enabling us to extend our reach to “strengthen America’s fabric, stitch by stitch.” Thank you, CHP, for both your financial and moral support!

At Civity, we take a systems view. We access and transform “the system” by bringing relationships into existing networks, initiatives, and movements. In this work, we are mindful of the fact that “the system” isn’t something separate. The system is us – all of us. And every one of us can be a part of changing it.

Warmly,

Malka

A Quilt Meditation on Democracy, Social Connection, and Civity

By Palma Joy Strand

Fall has arrived here in Milwaukee, and the quilts have come out of the closet.

Regardless of fabric and pattern, quilts all have a similar essence: Different pieces of fabric are pieced and sewn together for the quilt top, and that top is then attached – hand-quilted, machine-quilted, or simply tacked – to a backing with some sort of layer in between to give the quilt its body and warmth. The finished quilt brings new life to often old pieces. A different whole emerges.

Democracy is like quilting. We are all different pieces of different fabrics of different shapes and sizes – and we piece ourselves together to make something different and bigger. We each make a contribution.

Creating the Space for a Different Kind of Conversation

By Humphrey Obuobi

The housing crisis in California is characterized by skyrocketing prices, a severe shortage of housing affordable for many households, and many people finding themselves homeless. Yet despite widespread recognition of the need for more housing, projects and policies that would facilitate building additional housing are often opposed by residents who are already comfortably housed.

Meta, parent company of Facebook and Instagram, is based on the San Francisco Peninsula, the epicenter of housing scarcity. As part of a larger housing initiative, Meta reached out to Civity to work with communities to build greater empathy among people of all housing backgrounds.

Check Out Faces of Civity

Local Leaders Share Their Stories in Faces of Civity

By Lucy Hancock

Over the past year, Civity has had the opportunity to work with organizations dedicated to addressing climate change and its effects on communities. At two conferences – the Midwest Climate Collaborative Annual Conference in St. Louis, MO, and the Bluegrass Greensource Annual Conference in Lexington, KY – I facilitated Civity workshops that led to continued relationships with some of the participants. These local leaders have powerful stories of infusing civity into their work, day in and day out.

We reached out to four of these attendees and invited them to reflect on their workshop experience – what civity means to them, and how they have incorporated civity into their work. We recorded interviews with these participants and were amazed by the beautiful and thoughtful sentiments they shared.

Thank you to these beacons of light, change, and hope, for sharing their stories with us. Faces of Civity shows how civity ripples spread!

Civity Podcast with Riaz Patel:

Connecting Across Difference by Recognizing Our Shared Humanity

Riaz Patel, executive producer and director, focuses on reality shows that depict people connecting and having positive transformations. Riaz created what he calls the EPIC system – with EPIC standing for Equalization, Personalization, Information Gathering, and Collaboration – which is very in line with Civity’s approach to helping people connect across differences.

Riaz has used the EPIC System to create a show called ConnectEffect, in which he has people learn about and connect with each other face-to-face – breaking through labels and getting to each other’s humanity.

Listen!

Civity in the News:

Why a Stranger's Hello Can Do More Than Just Brighten Your Day

A recent study – highlighted by NPR – on the benefits of even brief social connections, grew out of the experience of a new student in a new town and how a hot dog vendor made her feel as if she belonged.

From the article:

Gillian Sandstrom (decided to) pursue a degree in psychology at Toronto Metropolitan University. And she felt like she didn't fit in.

"I was 10 years older than my fellow students," Sandstrom recalls. "I wasn't sure I was meant to be there. I didn't instantly feel like a part of that community."

Enter the hot dog lady.

On her daily walk from one university building to another, Sandstrom would pass a hot dog stand.

"I never bought a hot dog, but every time I walked past, I would smile and wave at her and she'd smile and wave at me," she says.

Sandstrom remembers looking forward to this daily interaction. This brief exchange with a stranger made her feel less isolated.

How You Can Support Civity's Work

Thank you for supporting and practicing civity! To support Civity’s work with a tax-exempt donation, CLICK HERE to donate online or get instructions for sending a check.

Your donation helps fund our communications and enables us to give free workshops to small nonprofits.

Our work is more important than ever, and we can’t do it without you. Help us reach more people and provide more support to leaders across the country seeking to build civity.

Let’s grow our civity community by reaching out to “others” and bridging across divides. Together, we can create a culture where we ALL belong.

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Civity In the News photo by: Laura Gao for NPR