EricsHouse Newsletter and Event Listing

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FEBRUARY 2020

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Greetings!

We chose this image for our February 2020 newsletter because some of our days are beginning to heat up and our desert is stunning. Here is one of my favorite weather quotes. . . “Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather , only different kinds of good weather.”

- John Ruskin

A Message From Our Founder: Marianne Gouveia

Dear EricsHouse Community:

February is filled with a mix of emotions that are hard for me to express. My youngest son, Eric, died in February four years ago. Every year, it’s a new experience to face the month. Let me share some of our story.

Eric was an athlete and a daredevil. He injured his wrist badly as a high school wrestler. After multiple surgeries on his wrist, he had chronic pain and was given access to opioid painkillers. By the time he died, Eric had prescriptions for 500 oxycontin pills per month, from multiple doctors including a pill mill. He then transitioned from painkillers to heroin.

Eric hated being an addict. He fought valiantly to overcome his addiction. He achieved his goal of sobriety for a long time before he relapsed on New Year’s Eve of 2015. He was born on 8/8/88 and he died by suicide on February 27, 2016, at the age of 27.

I spoke with Eric the night before he left us. We made plans to have breakfast the next morning. He didn’t answer his phone that morning, so I went to him. I found him in his apartment. It was a devastating experience, but one that leaves me immensely grateful and has changed me forever.

Eric’s addiction and death do not define him. He was so much more – the youngest of 3 boys, smart, witty, and charming. He was a passionate defender of the underdog. Eric loved the outdoors, sitting around a campfire on family camping trips, hiking, and exploring. He was full of adventure. His greatest joy was spending time with his family, especially his brothers, Joey and Robby. He idolized his older brother Robby. He had a profound and abiding love and respect for people with special needs, like his brother Joey. He spoke out against stereotypes, prejudice, and negative attitudes towards people with special needs.

I often ask myself, “how is it that my son who was so gifted, relevant and smart, sensitive, and tender-hearted, had to leave us at such a young age?"

I finally accepted that the answers I sought are ultimately known only by Eric and by my Higher Power and that he lives on. For me, this is God and Heaven. I believe Eric is safe in God’s hands, and I am thankful for the wonderful and precious gift of Eric.

My initial healing journey was dark. I had walked every inch of every mile with my addicted child. I felt that I needed to find him, to be with him, to be sure he was ok. As I began to develop my understanding and my relationship with God, I recognized that I was powerless without my faith. Faith led me to hope – hope for Eric, hope that life in a new normal is possible for me. Hope that there is a greater purpose to my life and Eric’s. Hope that we will all be OK no matter how rocky the path becomes. I believe that our family was called to help others in dark places.

I believe that finding good support is essential. You ultimately need to share your grief in whatever ways work best for you. It may be counseling, it can also be companioning, peer support, or support groups with others with similar losses, and groups that are free of judgment. I encourage you to lean into your grief and be present with it as painful as it may be. We must process our grief. It is the hardest work we will ever do, but we must integrate our loss into a new normal.

Finding your spiritual footing, learning our purpose, embarking on the adventure of learning who we are now, embracing the loss and understanding our relationship with the Divine . . . that’s our journey. Look inside and discover your inner self, make a connection with your inner source. Meditate, pray, and connect with your inner ability, to let go of the all-consuming thoughts that hijack your mind. Allow healing into your heart and soul so that you can find forgiveness for yourself, your loved one, and for those around you. By going inside, you can let go of the anger, the shame, the guilt, and the stigma that comes with this journey.

Find your way for self-care. Caring for your physical body is as important as emotional and spiritual care. First, be careful not to isolate yourself. Surround yourself with people who can nurture you, while leaving time to yourself so that your body can rest. Eat regularly, especially fresh fruits and vegetables which are easy to prepare and keep handy. These will help you feel healthy, especially when eating is the last thing on your mind. Avoid numbing your pain with alcohol or drugs. Tears are part of healing, but they can dehydrate you -- drink plenty of water. Get out in nature, let the healing power of the sun on your face dry your tears.

It is ok to cry, let the grief burst out. Your tears are sacred -- they are a measure of the love you have for your precious loved one. It is OK to have shrines and monuments -- don’t care what anyone else thinks. This is your grief; you should honor it and respect it. Your loss is like a journey with no timetable or destination, be open to where it leads.

What has given me the most hope and has transformed my life, is learning how to be in a relationship with Eric with him in heaven and me here. I know he is with me and that I will be with him in Heaven. I know that our love is eternal.

I hope sharing parts of my journey can give you some hope that there is light at the end of this tunnel. I had to surrender Eric’s care to God, and once I did that, I found the path toward healing. I understand part of the purpose of Eric’s death. It led to the founding of EricsHouse, a community of healers that support the emotional, physical, and spiritual healing for those living in the aftermath of a suicide or substance loss. It is an amazing project that has helped and continues to help so many. I am grateful to you all for joining me on this journey.

With much love and great gratitude,

Marianne

Meet a new Team Member -- MEL

Mel Hanks

Reiki Master

Mel started her personal journey to becoming a Reiki Master after researching meditation to enhance her ability to stay balanced after surgery. She discovered that the power of meditation, Reiki relaxation techniques, and being in positive mental state help to facilitate and support the body and mind for healing.

Mel is currently studying Reflexology and other tools in her efforts to help facilitate balance and healing with her clients. She is available on weekends and evenings for clients of EricsHouse.

Visit our website for more information.

Learn More About Reiki

Reiki (ray-key) is an ancient form of Japanese energy healing. It is used for stress reduction and relaxation, and when the body is fully relaxed physical, emotional and spiritual healing occurs.

The word “reiki” translates into Universal Life Force Energy. Rei = Universal Life Force and Ki = Energy. A Reiki healer is tapping into this life force that creates and sustains us all and channeling it into the energy of the client. Reiki energy clears blockages and restores balance to the client’s personal energy field. This raises the vibrational level of the energy that runs through and around the client promoting a sense of peace and calm.

To read the full article, click HERE.

We receive many questions from people in our community about healthy relationships with their partner or spouse after a loss from suicide or substance. "Do men and women grieve the same way?"

"Why doesn't he grieve as I do? "I want my wife to return to normal." Here are some thoughts from Greg Eckerman (Eric's stepdad) on how men and women grieve differently.

Greg facilitates our very successful men's grief group at EricsHouse. He wasn't sure how it would go at first because our culture does not support men grieving - they are often the overlooked griever. Our culture supports us rushing through the process and we feel like we need to "get over it" as quickly as we can. However, those of us on this journey know better. After the shock wears off we are left with the task of rebuilding our lives. Often times, men and women are not on the same schedule for grieving. They grieve very differently causing issues in their relationship and added chaos to the already confusing set of emotions. Here are a few thoughts:

Not all men grieve differently than women, in fact, some men grieve like women, and some men grieve like men, so it is important not to place expectations on each other; respecting each individual grief journey. Here are some things we hear from our clients.

Women feel that men want to fix their grief because they want their 'old" wife back. After losing a child, women know they will never go back to normal, so both must focus on what a new beginning looks like for them together. This is because women tend to stay heart-center and in their grief while men tend to think more intellectually about their loss.

Men tend to be very action-oriented in addressing their grief, but often do not like to give up their privacy. Often you can see little things that men do to help the situation or move along the path toward healing. Women have a greater tendency to emote their grief and share it with others who know their pain.

Men often grieve in private, not wanting to show vulnerability in front of others. But they also face emotions of regret, intense sadness, guilt, shame, stigma, and anger. Once they find a safe place to emote their feelings, they often feel a sense of renewal and peace.

Look for a full article in our March Newsletter

February Inspiration

Letters from Home

Monday February 17, 5:00-8:00 pm

Phoenix, AZ

What if you can learn a technique to communicate with your loved ones across the veil?

EricsHouse will be hosting the Letters from Home Workshop, on Monday, February 17, 2020 starting with an optional dinner at 5:00pm, and actual workshop from 6:00pm-8:00pm.

In this workshop, you will learn techniques to write with your loved ones across the thin veil that seems to separate you from them. You will be in a safe and nurturing environment at EricsHouse, in which you will be with other survivors of traumatic loss while exploring this type of communication.

Join us for our "Letters From Home" with Claudia

Click HERE to register

Claudia has been writing with her spiritual guides and angels for over 20 years when David, her only child, died by suicide. After the initial shock wore off, Claudia realized that she could communicate with David, and their relationship would go on in a new different way.

The Labyrinth at EricsHouse is now UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

Join Karen Janusz on February 29th

for Aromatherapy for Grief

Labyrinth Meditation

from 10:00 am - 12:00 pm at EricsHouse

In this workshop we will be combining Aromatherapy for grief support and a Labyrinth walking meditation. During the presentation on Aromatherapy we will be discussing specific essential oils for grief support that may help with the different stages of the grieving process. You will have an opportunity to choose a specific scent to use during your Labyrinth walking meditation.

The Labyrinth is a walking meditation and a Sacred Path for healing and restoration . It allows one to ask questions, receive insight and solace for one’s soul. There will be a short presentation on the Labyrinth, time for you to reflect on your intention as you walk the Labyrinth, and the opportunity to choose a special rock to place on the Labyrinth in honor of your loved one(s) who has passed.

For more information on this event, please click HERE .

Event Lineup

Women's Support Group

Our women's group meets every other Thursday from 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm. Please click HERE to see more details. Contact marianne@ericshouse.org to see if this is the right group for you.

Men's Grief Support Group

Meets every other Thursday from 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm. Click HERE to view details.

Please contact Greg at greg@ericshouse.org to see if this is the right group for you.

MELINDA VAIL

Saturday, February 15, 2019

Individual Readings with Melinda Vail

In these individual sessions, Melinda will share messages from your loved ones so that you have the opportunity to know and understand that he or she is alive and well on the other side of the veil. Melinda is an “evidential” medium, meaning that she will provide information about your loved one that she could not possibly have known.

We believe that working with a medium does not replace grieving and mourning your loss. Please realize that a reading does not take the place of the grieving process, however, at EricsHouse, we believe that working with a good medium can be helpful to your healing.

These are 1-hour sessions and space is limited. To schedule your reading, please contact Melinda’s assistant Izzy at (480) 755-0222 first to secure your time.After you have confirmed your time with Izzy, please purchase your ticket HERE . The first session will start at 9:00 am, and appointments will be scheduled consecutively. Please call today to schedule your appointment. The cost for an individual reading is $250.00.

Retreat for Grieving Parents

If you are interested in a 3-day retreat in Phoenix Arizona for grieving parents, please contact Marianne at marianne@ericshouse.org. This retreat is based in Catholic tradition but is open to all denominations and belief structures. It is for all parents who have lost a child, by any cause, at any age, no matter how long ago. It is an amazingly healing and transformative experience. March 27 - March 29, 2020 . Costs include all meals and materials -- $135.00 Commuter, $225.00 Private Room w/ Bath, or $135.00 Shared Room w/ Bath. Retreat is being held at the Franciscan Renewal Center at 5801 E. Lincoln Drive in Scottsdale, AZ.

In addition to providing companionship after a loss and holistic support as part of our Integrative Grief Care model, we offer several alternative therapies to support emotional, physical, and spiritual healing.

Visit our website