Monica and her siblings were hit hard a little over a year ago when they lost both their brother and their mother within three weeks of each other.
“My mom and Mario were two of the kindest souls I ever knew.”
Monica recalls that her brother was peaceful, loving and non-confrontational.
The oldest of seven, Mario found focus and calm by spending time in nature.
“My brother would say, ‘I’ve got to get some time in with God.’ To Mario, that meant that he needed to unwind by getting into the Great Outdoors. When he knew I was stressed, he’d encourage me to get some GOD-time.”
Service and community involvement were a way of life for Mario.
“He always wanted to help…he knew how to access and share resources for people who were in need,” Monica says.
Mario taught high school science for 36 years. His great love for students and marine biology motivated him to create an after-school ocean academy. The four year program, funded by grants, provided instruction and travel to students who may have otherwise lost interest in school.
Mario also coached high school wrestling. He took his love of coaching into a neighborhood of at-risk kids where he started a community wrestling program.
Monica and her siblings recognize that their mom and Mario were the ‘glue’ of the family.
“Mario’s legacy is that he created and maintained a bond with each of us…he knew the value of keeping relationships with each of his siblings. He knew how to make every person feel special.”
Now that Mario is gone, his brothers and sisters have come to realize that their relationship with him was sacred. In order to maintain what he so intentionally cultivated, the family knows that they must continue to feed, water and nourish their relationships with each other.
“Immediately after our losses, I made sure that we gathered for the holidays,” says Monica.
Even though they were all experiencing the upheaval of early grief, the family gathered for Thanksgiving and soon after, Christmas.
“We need consistency to keep the family together.”
This has not been a journey free of tension and frustration. Like all families, the dynamics of Monica’s are loving yet sometimes stressful.
But their perseverance and commitment to building a new foundation continues to guide the siblings forward.
In addition to meeting up in person, the family communicates via a group text. They have a ‘grief share’ when they remember Mario and the lives he touched. They talk about their thoughts, memories and dreams of him.
Monica realizes that consistent communication and attention are essential for fostering family unity. For instance, she’s put a priority on talking with her younger brother for 15 minutes each day before work. It has been rewarding for her to see improvements in both his mental and physical health. She also says that one of her sisters who was slow to communicate with the group has recently started participating.
It’s been a slow process and new situations are always occurring, but Monica feels the family’s cohesiveness growing as they move forward together.
