You are receiving Ellie Krug's Monthly Newsletter, The Ripple
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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
Vol 8 No. 8 September 2023
Inspired by the words and deeds of Robert F. Kennedy
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Carver County Turns Purple
Dear Friends:
The summer season has started to fade here in MN, and now when I walk Jack in the morning, instead of shorts and a tee, I’m wearing a light coat and jeans. Soon, that will give way to a heavier coat and gloves, and once snow falls, boots. I’m not at all looking forward to that!
Okay, that’s enough for a weather report from Ms. Doom and Gloom who lives at the edge of the prairie.
On a way better note, several things have pointed to how my mostly rural county of residence, Carver County (population approximately 110,000), has turned purple.
First, let’s note the fact that I was elected to the school board last November. More recently (as in three weeks ago), in response to pressure by students and parents, and because we were at risk of legal action for failing to adhere to the principle of church/state separation (e.g., that a public school can’t promote a particular religion or religious view), my school district decided to end its practice of holding high school graduations in an evangelical church. This came about because earlier this year, a brave sophomore in one of our high schools presented the school board with a petition to change the graduation location to a secular venue. I publicly supported that effort.
Another sign of how Carver County has become more welcoming to all happened with the Little Roos drag story time event in July (see the May Ripple where I wrote about the then upcoming event). Yes, the Proud Boys came to protest, but so did 400 other humans who showed up to voice their support for LGBTQ+ people. It was quite a heartwarming event and a morning that I will never forget!
Finally, last week the Carver County library board unanimously voted to keep on its shelves Gender Queer, a graphic memoir about a nonbinary queer person coming to understand and live as their true self. The book (which is the most banned book in America—see here) was challenged by several people affiliated with Moms for Liberty, although none of the challengers had actually read the book.
Before the library board voted, they heard from more than twenty people, who were all in favor of keeping the book. I was one of those folks, and if you have an interest, here’s a MN Public Radio story with a short clip of yours truly doing what’s she’s good at. It was standing room only (probably 100 people were in attendance), with almost everyone in favor of keeping the book. I was truly impressed!
All these things demonstrate that where I live is far more accepting than anyone would have guessed. That, in my book, is quite wonderful, and frankly, a reason to hope!
Enjoy this month’s Ripple. Remember, I care about you.
ellie
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Good Empathetic Hearts Help a
Burger King Worker
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Those who’ve attended my human inclusivity training Gray Area Thinking© will recall that I talk about “our good empathetic hearts” as a saving grace that can overcome how we “other” humans. As proof, I ask for a show of hands from those who’ve ever helped out another human via GoFundMe or some other online giving tool. Often, 100 percent of attendees raise their hands.
Thus, it was of great interest to read this NPR story about Kevin Ford, who works at the Burger King at Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas. Last year, to recognize that Kevin had not taken a single sick day in the 20 years that he worked at the fast-food restaurant, Kevin’s employer gave him a goody bag that consisted of a coffee cup, a movie ticket, some candy and a few other items.
Because Kevin is the kind of person who appreciates the small things in life, he showed off the goody bag on TikTok (see photo). In response, many people were outraged that someone so dedicated received so little in return from their employer.
That’s when Kevin’s daughter decided to create a GoFundMe campaign to raise $200 so that Kevin could afford to visit his grandchildren in Texas. Astoundingly, the response wasn’t just $200, but instead, $400,000. Many of those who contributed praised Kevin’s work ethic and said that he reminded them of their hard-working fathers.
Kevin replied to this outpouring of generosity with humility: “I think they (those who contributed) just wanted to show my employer and other CEOs that people deserve to be congratulated, rewarded, even just acknowledged for their hard work and dedication.”
Apart from demonstrating how humans have compassion for strangers, this story also demonstrates a reality—that more than half of restaurant workers lack paid sick leave. In 20 years of service, Kevin came to work sick or in pain (due to an ongoing back problem) because he needed to pay bills. On only two occasions did he take time off from work for medical needs, and both times he was forced to use accrued vacation time.
There is one last wrinkle to this story. Kevin, the father of four daughters, regrets that he worked so much because it kept him from his children and wife. However, now flush with cash, Kevin intends to provide for his grandchildren’s college educations and to spend more time visiting them. And oh yeah, Kevin still works at Burger King!
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month Understanding What it Means to "Come Out"
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Friday, October 11 will be National Coming Out Day—a day to celebrate and support humans who come out as LGBTQ+ (click here to read more). In many locales, including Minneapolis, the day is marked by a luncheon or dinner where speakers share how they first revealed to someone else that they were lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, something known as a “coming out (as in coming out of the clostet) story.”
While there is no one way to “come out,” often someone first shares the secret about their sexuality or true gender identity with a close friend or family member. Assuming the recipient of that information is supportive, the LGBTQ+-identifying person may then have the confidence to share with others, and often, eventually to the world at large.
On the other hand, if the first person to whom someone comes out isn’t supportive or affirming, the LGBTQ+-identifying person may feel compelled to remain in the closet and continue hiding their true identity. This, of course, often results in great emotional suffering, since there is a distinct human need to live as a complete, whole person without hiding something so very important to one’s existence.
What should you do if someone “comes out” to you?
First, you should be honored that this person trusts you with such secret information. Moreover, you should understand that with that self-disclosure comes great responsibility, such as responding with support and affirmation. (A big hug wouldn’t hurt, either.) What you say or do can have a tremendous impact on the person who has shared their secret!
Additionally, unless the LGBTQ+-identifying person states otherwise, it’s critical that you keep secret what you’ve been told. No one has the right to “out” another person to someone else. Only the LGBTQ+-identifying person has that right.
What not to do: lecture the LGBTQ+-identifying person that they’re somehow confused about their identity or that they’ve disappointed you or will disappoint others. If you can’t accept this person as who they are, respectfully thank them for sharing their secret and simply say, “This is more than what I expected, but I wish you well on your journey.”
Finally, if you are reading this and wondering about coming out to someone but don’t know how to do it, feel free to email me (elliejkrug@gmail.com). I would be happy to talk and be a friend!
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This month’s Compassion has a theme—rescues from cars. See this video of a police officer pulling a driver from his burning truck. Then there’s this video of a woman pulling a man with paralysis from his burning car. Finally, watch how a two Atlanta police officers pull a man from his car as water swirls around them. On another note, here is a story about a stranger who volunteered to remove a woman’s full-face tattoo. And did you know that Scotland cares so much about its expectant mothers that it sends them each a “Baby Box”? What an incredible idea! Lastly, see here how Lego has now come out with braille Legos. | | |
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If you have an interest, here is my interview with Jerome Evans of the Bottomless Coffee podcast—I talk about my work as an idealist trying to spread compassion across the world. See this report from Vancouver re: how cash transfers of CAD $7500 to those experiencing housing insecurity reduced homelessness. (I continue to believe in the need for a guaranteed basic income for those on the lowest rungs of the economic ladder.) Another study—from Australia—shows that gender affirming care more than halves suicidality in gender variant humans. (I know that it sure saved me.) Here also is an essay by law professor Andrew Koppelman on the political evil related to “othering” of transgender humans. And last, but not least, if you have an interest in my work, I'll be doing Gray Area Thinking for the public in Waconia MN on October 7th and St. Francis MN on November 5th. Check out the events page on my website for more details. | | |
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 | Here’s some real pain—MN Vikings Alexander Mattison shares in this story how he was the subject of racist messaging after a game loss. Ugliness is never that far away, is it? See also this story about how expiration of the Child Tax Credit (a part of the American Rescue Plan of 2021) more than doubled child poverty in the United States (from 5.2% in ’21 to 12.4% in ’22). Additionally, the overall U.S. poverty rate increased as well—from 7.8% to 12.4%; more than 37 million Americans live in poverty. That is truly a crime! Other Pain includes this story about one of the few child cardiologists in Louisiana moving out of state due to that state’s newly enacted anti-LGBTQ+ laws. There’s also this story about a visiting author being told to leave because he said the word, “gay,” in front of elementary school children in Georgia. Finally, as I’ve previously related that many employers are now fearful of anything DEI, here is a story about how the Iowa Attorney General has joined other attorneys general in writing to the 100 biggest law firms in the country warning they will be sued if the firms affirmatively recruit attorneys of color. For a profession with a 200-year legacy of allowing only white, Christian men to practice law, this is a devastating development. I am frankly outraged! | | |
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The human spirit is often all that’s left to pull us through—for proof, see this video of a hurdler who wins despite falling. Wow! Here is also a story about saving the California mountain lion. Also check out this story about an Anchorage, AK bear family raiding a Crispy Crème truck filled with donuts—they ate dozens! Lastly, check out this video of guard dogs preventing a puma from attacking sheep; cool! | | |
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Ripple reader Ashley O’Brien forwarded a piece about a supportive colleague to a broadcast journalist who was groped while on the air. California will now recognize August as Transgender History Month. Nice! See too this story of how the NYCLU and other legal groups and pro bono attorneys helped a black transgender woman secure a $160K settlement from the Broome County (NY) jail where the woman was wrongly placed in the men’s section of the jail, forcing her to endure brutalization and forced detransitioning. Good job counsel!
Finally, I do many pro bono or low bono (greatly reduced fee) talks. A nonprofit, Human Ripple Works, Inc., exists for that purpose. If you would like to support this work, please click here on the HRW website. Thank you!
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Finally....
The Ripple is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Please consider reading my book, Getting to Ellen: A Memoir about Love, Honesty and Gender Change; if possible, order it through your local bookstore. And, if your book club reads my book, I'm happy to come for the discussion via Zoom!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
elliejkrug@gmail.com
www.elliekrug.com
www.humaninspirationworks.com
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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