You are receiving Ellie Krug's Monthly Newsletter, The Ripple
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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
Vol 7 No.11 December 2022
Inspired by the words and deeds of Robert F. Kennedy
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2022: It's a Wrap!
Dear Friends:
It has been quite a year!
With regard to my remaining life’s mission, this year had me again traveling across North America to present on diversity, equity and inclusion. (In fact, I started this month’s issue while sitting at the airport in Victoria, BC.) Although I’ve never been a fan of flying, it’s quite wonderful to again be going places where I can visit art museums and see new sights in my downtime!
And too, when 2022 started, I had no idea that I would run for my local school board, let alone be elected. Talk about “Oh the Places You’ll Go,” by Dr. Seuss (one of my very favorite books of all time—I know that I just made one regular reader smile…).
Then there’s my personal life. I’ve made so many friends this year, and it’s been quite wonderful to learn about their lived experiences. I’m more than ever convinced that human familiarity—taking risks and spending the time to sit with those who are “Other” compared to “us”—is the only pathway to healing the divisions between us.
I’m sure that 2023 will bring its share of rewards and challenges. I’m just so very honored that so many continue to believe in my work and me. I’m living with enormous gratitude for how everything has unfolded!
Finally, as you will see below in this month’s Inclusivity Tip, I have a special year-end/holidays video for you. (I’m grateful for my friend Kelsey Waits sending it my way!) I am sure that the video will help to spark your holiday spirit!
I wish you all the very best for the holidays and for the start of a brand-new year. Take care, be well and remember: I care about you!
ellie
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The Movie Devotion: Platinum
Level Compassion
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My human inclusivity training Gray Area Thinking© includes a role play where I demonstrate what the “platinum” level of GAT compassion looks like. Recently, I came across a movie, Devotion, which may be the most-platinum example of compassion that I’ve ever heard of.
Devotion documents the story of Jesse Brown, who in 1948 became the first Black pilot to pass U.S. Navy flight training. He was then assigned to the aircraft carrier, Leyte, where he met a white pilot, Tom Hudner. Jesse and Tom, as the movie details, became friends. This included Tom coming to understand the degree of discrimination that Jesse faced, even after he became a pilot.
In the fall of 1950, the Leyte was dispatched to Korea when war broke out. Jesse, who flew the propeller-driven F4U Corsair, participated in twenty combat missions before encountering engine trouble near the Chosin Reservoir in North Korea on December 4, 1950. He successfully crash landed in a snow-covered field, but was unable to exit the plane because of damage that pinned him in the cockpit.
Tom was Jesse’s wingman on that mission. He witnessed Jesse’s plane go down and saw that Jesse was still alive with the plane on fire. Tom then made the decision to crash land his plane near Jesse’s. After putting out the fire on Jesse’s plane, Tom tried to free Jessie from his cockpit. He was unsuccessful, and because it was getting dark (which would make it impossible for a rescue helicopter to fly), Tom made the difficult decision to helicopter out. Jesse, who had been going in and out of consciousness, died shortly thereafter. His body was never recovered.
For his heroism—and unbelievable compassion—Tom was awarded the Medal of Honor by President Truman in April 1951. Jesse’s wife Daisey and their daughter were present for the ceremony. Afterward, Tom and Daisey became friends, and the families remain close to this day.
In 2013, Tom traveled to North Korea to find the site where Jesse’s plane crashed, hoping to finally recover his body. Bad weather prevented that search from happening and Tom died in 2017 without ever returning to Korea. (Click here for Tom’s personal account of trying to rescue Jesse.)
See this Wikipedia page to learn more about Jesse Brown. See also this link for the background of the movie (which is now playing in theaters) along with a trailer for the movie.
I can’t imagine the degree of courage and compassion it took for Tom to risk his life for his friend Jesse. This story reminds us that even at a time when laws in much of the U.S. separated people by skin color, the power of human familiarity (and friendship) still overcame those separations.
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month
Modeling Love: Grandparents Who Accept Their LGBTQ+ Grandchildren
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Earlier this year, I gave a “Transgender 101” talk at a community college in Norfolk, NE, population 25K. The public was invited to the talk, and among the 120 or so audience members was a 70-something grandmother who raised her hand and asked about how to be welcoming to her transgender teenage grandchild. In asking, she repeatedly stumbled over pronouns, but it was clear that she very much wanted to do the right thing for the teen that she so loved. Everyone in the audience, including me, was touched.
I think we often overlook the relationships between grandparents and their LGBTQ+ grandchildren. Certainly, generational differences or religious beliefs sometimes account for why grandparents aren’t accepting of grandchildren who come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender/nonbinary. But as I’ve done my work across the country speaking to tens of thousands of people, I’ve encountered many grandparents who haven’t hesitated to accept their queer grandchildren—generational or societal or religious faith differences didn’t matter. After all, love is love, right?
Moreover, grandparents can model love and acceptance for other adults who may be struggling with how to accept children who come out as LGBTQ+. In that regard, I’m thrilled to share this video out of Spain (sponsored by J&B Scotch). The video reinforces a wonderful message of love and allyship, and I’m sure that it will touch your heart! (Click here for the background on the video—but make sure you watch the video first!)
For those grandparents who may be struggling with acceptance of a grandchild who’s come out as LGBTQ+, I recommend that they or someone in their life reach out to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gays) for support; simply Google “PFLAG chapters” and you’ll find a chapter that’s nearby. Additionally, here’s the link to a PFLAG publication titled, “Supporting Your LGBTQ+ Grandchild.”
I was especially close to my grandparents and a great uncle. Although they had all passed by the time that I transitioned genders in 2009, it would have been devastating had they been unaccepting of the true, real me.
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From Minnesota, here’s this story of a liquor store worker who ran outside in mid-shift when she saw a person experiencing homelessness who was wearing boxes for shoes. She took off her favorite shoes—Retro Black and Purple Air Jordans—and gave them to the man. Also, here’s a story from my elementary school alma mater that celebrated a 5th-grade classmate’s last chemo treatment—see the cheering students line the hallways. Nice! | | |
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I wrapped up the year with a total of 113 talks and trainings—the last being to local high school students re: how the criminal justice system is rigged in favor of those with white skin and resources. Also, while the passage of the Respect for Marriage Act has some positives for LGBTQ+ married couples, as Jim Obergefell (whose 2015 case resulted in the Supreme Court declaring a right to marriage equality) relates, the RFMA also permits open religious discrimination against LGBTQ+ folks. (See here.) On another note, did you see this PEW Study which found that 5% of young adults identify as transgender or nonbinary (e.g., humans who identify as neither male or female)? Separately, if you have an interest, here’s Jennifer Thibodaux’s interview of me on a new podcast, The Hearing. Lastly, check out my upcoming events on my website—and if you’re part of a church or nonprofit, reach out; I’d love to present pro bono or low bono in January-March, my slow-time. | | |
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See this story from last week about how Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton recently sought driver’s license data to identify Texans who changed gender markers, apparently to create a database of transgender humans, who knows for what evil purpose. Unbelievable! Here’s also an NPR story about the number of recent legislative bills targeting transgender humans—300+ bills, with 86% targeting trans youth. There is also this story of Latino/Hispanic students being marginalized in a TN school district (but you’ll also see how the educators are fighting back with inclusive techniques). Finally, on a positive note, see this story of the first transgender NFL cheerleader—yes! | | |
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With the holidays in mind, see this wonderful video of the Kyiv Children’s Choir singing in NYC’s Grand Central Station (for a change, they were without war…). Also, watch this innovative pup get an innovative back rub. There’s also this puppy race (or not) at an Indiana Pacers game. Finally (and I may have included this before, but so what…), here’s a wolf pup howling in front of a trail camera. So very cute! | | |
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Good news for transgender youth athletes—on Friday, an appeals court threw out a CT case that had sought to bar them from participating in sports across that state. (Click here.) Additionally, bucking the national trend, Minneapolis has declared itself a safe haven for children and youth seeking gender affirming care (click here). Here is a Kickstarter re: my dear friend Elizabeth Brenner’s efforts to fund a documentary about the dangers of study abroad (a decade ago, Elizabeth’s son Thomas died while on a study abroad semester in India)—please consider donating! And too, here’s an opinion piece by Cedar Rapids Gazette columnist Todd Dorman decrying discrimination against transgender humans. (I also recently had Todd on my radio show, Ellie 2.0 Radio; click here for that interview.)
Lastly, several of you have recently donated to Human Ripple Works, Inc., the nonprofit which makes it possible for me to do more work for organizations that lack budgets for training (like talking to Gender and Sexuality Alliances at various schools across the country). Thank you for that!! If you’d like to support this work, please click here on the HRW website.
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Finally....
The Ripple is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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