You are receiving Ellie Krug's Monthly Newsletter, The Ripple
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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
Vol 8 No.7 August 2023
Inspired by the words and deeds of Robert F. Kennedy
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Taking Risks at Perkins
Dear Friends:
Well, that was a much needed respite! Thank you for letting me take a vacation from the Ripple in July! However, I did miss you all.
Since you last heard from me two months ago, I’ve gotten on my bike and ridden on the blacktops that traverse corn and bean fields just two miles from my house (which so remind me of my beloved Iowa!). I also traveled to wonderful Duluth to ride my bike along the edge of Lake Superior and then, the next day, train an incredible child advocacy organization. I’ve also been able to restart the second installment of my memoir, but I’ve learned my lesson about creating expectations around when that might be done.
I’ve also worked to break down barriers. You may recall that along with two incumbents, last November’s school board election had me and someone from the “conservative block,” Joe Scott, elected. As it turns out, Joe and I have become friends—we’ve worked to reinvigorate the old notion that you can disagree on issues but don’t have to dislike the person you’re disagreeing with. How old fashioned!
Joe and his wife have had me to their house for dinner—it was delightful! He and I have also collaborated on working toward ending educatonal achievement disparties in our school district based on skin color, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status. Joe's also made it clear that even though he's an older white, straight, religious, cisgender dude, he's quite alright with befriending an older white Buddhist transgender woman.
And, three weeks ago, Joe arranged for me to meet his evangelical pastor, Kevin, at a local Perkins. Despite the risk that the meeting might have gone sideways for both of us (I was the first transgender person he had ever met), sitting with Pastor Kevin was enjoyable. We had a great discussion about how Jesus hung out with those who were “Other” in his society. Pastor Kevin was respectfully curious about my lived experience, and seemed to accept the idea that it wasn’t a “choice” for me to be me. In the end, I hoped he walked away understanding that transgender people want the same things in life as everyone else. He also gave me a hug when we said goodbye!
All of this reinforces my belief that with respectful curiosity, risktaking, and bravery, we truly can get past what divides us. I think that’s a great start to resetting America, and don’t you agree?
On a related note, I just finished CNN correspondent John Blake's memoir, More Than I Imagined, where he writes about his journey to face and get beyond personal stereotypes around skin color and mental illness. I highly recommend picking up this delightful, eye-opening book!
Also, as you’ll see from what follows, there’s much that’s captured my attention since the June Ripple. I hope you find it of value.
Remember, I care about you. I mean that with all my heart!
ellie
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The Two Most Important Days:
Father Charles Strobel
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Earlier this month, this New York Times guest editorial titled, “Proof That One Life Can Change the World,” by Margaret Renkl caught my eye. As Renkl writes, “You’ve probably never heard of Charles Strobel, but by the time he died on August 6 at the age of 80, he was a hero here in Nashville.…Even before Nashville’s swift and stunning growth began to gentrify working class and impoverished neighborhoods, Father Strobel had become our civic conscience.”
According to Renkle, Father Strobel once told the writer Ann Patchett, “All you have to do is give a little bit of understanding to the possibility that life might not have been fair” to someone else.
With cold weather setting in in the fall of 1985, it was this understanding that propelled Father Strobel to open his East Nashville church to people experiencing homelessness. Soon thereafter, he penned a letter to all the houses of worship in Nashville: let’s collectively open our doors to those who lack safe places to sleep at night, he said. In short order, four other congregations followed suit, and in the process, an initiative named “Room in the Inn” was created.
Less than two years later, 31 Nashville churches, synagogues, and mosques were regularly opening their doors to people experiencing homelessness. Eventually, Father Strobel left his parish to tend full-time to Room in the Inn. By 2010, the program had grown to the point of building/opening a five-story, 64,000 square foot campus with 38 permanent supportive housing units (see the picture above). Another 10 units are presently under construction and will be ready this fall. The campus provides job assistance, education, and emergency and transitional services to those in need.
In the U.S. there are Room in the Inn programs in 35 cities. Why not check to see if there’s such a program where you live; if so, please support it!
The compassion extended by Father Strobel didn’t just lie with those who lacked the basic necessities of life. In a horrible twist of fate, just as Room in the Inn was being born, Father Strobel’s mother was kidnapped and murdered in Nashville. Rather than seek vengeance or retribution from the killer, Father Strobel forgave him. As reported in the Jackson Sun in 2016, Father Strobel believed in the miracle of forgiveness. He said, “Forgiveness means peace. The person who killed my mother has forced evil on my heart, but stamping out the killer doesn’t stamp out the evil. It’s done. I understand how painful it can be, and I understand the pain of others that this person deserves to die for killing someone I love so much, and to even the score. But you can never even the score by killing one, or killing a thousand.”
As related on the Room in the Inn website, the prologue to Father Strobel’s book begins with a quote from Mark Twain: “The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.”
As he rippled to so many others, we all have a good idea of the “why” in Father Strobel’s incredibly compassionate life!
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month: Talking to Humans Using Plain Lanauage
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Bearing in mind that the Ripple tries to stay away from politics as much as possible (although, given how things are, that’s a bit daunting at times), this Washington Post piece by E.J. Dionne Jr. about Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro resonated with me for one big reason: Shapiro understands the need to go to places where, on paper, he is unwelcome and where he’s willing to talk human to human. In doing so, he’s changed attitudes.
As Dionne recounts, Shapiro described his strategy as this: “You’ve got to show up everywhere, and you’ve got to speak to everyone, and you’ve got to speak in plain language and in practical terms.” This has included Shapiro traveling to traditionally red PA counties that Democrats wrote off long ago.
This philosophy has paid off, with a June poll showing that 57 percent of PA voters approved of Shapiro’s job performance, which included even 34 percent of Republicans believing that he was doing a good job. That was before Shapiro orchestrated fixing a collapsed portion of I-95 in Philadelphia in just 12 days.
From an inclusivity standpoint, here is the point: talking as a human, with words that everyone understands, reinforces connections and the power of authenticity. Not that it’s all about me, but this may be one reason why Gray Area Thinking© works—the talk employs phrases (such as “grouping and labelling” instead of “unconscious bias”) that are non-threatening and easy to grasp.
As you engage in work around making people feel as if they matter (that’s my basic definition of “inclusion”), please do it in a way that reflects humility and the understanding that everyone simply wants to be seen and heard. Titles and pedigrees often get in the way of accomplishing that. It may also be that your best, most down-to-earth communicator isn’t someone with their name at the top of the masthead. If so, recognize that person and learn from them.
For more on how to talk to strangers in general, see this Economist review of several books on the topic. (Note, you may need to open a free account to access the article.)
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 | In what probably could be a Ripple feature unto itself, see this story about the 1936 Berlin Olympics and the remarkable friendship and compassion between Olympic great Jesse Owens and his German competitor Karl “Luz” Long—reminding us that bravely breaking barriers can ripple across the world. And, speaking of WWII and barriers, here is a story about how the late singer extraordinaire Tony Bennett, as a U.S. Army corporal, was demoted for inviting a Black friend (and old high school classmate) to Thanksgiving dinner in occupied postwar Germany. That incident propelled Bennett to become a civil rights champion his entire life. On a different battle front, here’s a story about a Catholic-turned-Anglican priest’s conversion on LGBTQ+ rights. See also this wonderful piece about a 14-year-old paying off the lunch debt at his former elementary school. Finally, several weeks ago, I had writer James Finn on my radio show/podcast to talk about how a small Michigan town pressured its school board to reverse a decision to close a free medical clinic in a middle school because of a mural that had several LGBTQ+ icons. (Click here.) (You can also access my interview of James here.) James’ story offers us all hope… | | |
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| | In May, I highlighted blogger Erin Reed and her incredibly informative blog posts; here’s her take on a recent study about the extremely low rate of regret among trans people who have transitioned genders—debunking claims that most who’ve transitioned come to regret it (those claims are used to pass laws against gender affirming care for trans youth). Also, just the other day, a federal appeals court ruled that Idaho’s ban on trans youth participating in public school sports must stay on hold. See also this wonderful Daily Kos piece about Jesus being too liberal for many in mainstream religion. Lastly, I’ll be doing Gray Area Thinking trainings (free/open to anyone) in Chaska MN on Sept. 19 and Waconia MN on October 7. (Click here for the details about the Chaska event.) If you’re local (or if you like driving a bit) please come! Have others join you! Here also is a link to my upcoming events page, and while I'm at it, why not consider buying my book, Getting to Ellen? It continues to sell… | | |
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| | The attacks on educators across the country continue unabated—see this story about Idaho’s 2022 teacher of the year being harassed and feeling the need to flee the state because of her outside-the-classroom support of LGBTQ+ humans; then, there’s this piece about a Georgia school board’s decision to fire a 10-year 5th grade teacher because she had the audacity to read a book with a transgender/nonbinary character to her class. And in the “can you really believe this?” category, a chess federation has banned female transgender chess players from playing according to their gender identity (see here). Finally, as a harbinger of things to come, Stephen Miller (yes, the guy who came up with the idea of separating children from their parents at the border in the last presidential administration) has founded a legal nonprofit that has started suing corporations over their efforts to hire/promote team members from marginalized communities (Kellogg’s) and for selling/promoting Pride-related retail merchandise (Target Corp.). I predict this will get much, much worse, chilling more and more corporations/entities. | | |
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This month’s Relief has two themes—moving parts and pups. See this story about a lawn mower race in England (yes, that’s a thing) and this other story/video about a Florida sheriff’s deputy jumping onto a boat that’s out of control—wow! On the pup side, see this piece about what happened when you get 488 golden retrievers together, and for fun, see this “woo-mbulance” and a reminder of how smart dogs really are! Finally, I’m a sucker for female harmonies, including the duo, Lucius. Enjoy their magical song, “Dusty Trails” here. | | |
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I’ve always loved actor Annette Bening, and now I love her even more for her very vocal support of her transgender son (see here). There are also these LA Cinnabon workers who went on strike over the company’s anti-Pride policies (who knew that making 10,000 calorie buns could be so radical?). See also this Twitter/X clip of a blind paralympic runner and her guide—fantastic allyship to the Nth degree!
A LOST LIFE: Just as I was finalizing this issue, I heard of the horrible incident in Lake Arrowhead, CA where a female shopowner, Lauri Carleton, was shot and killed when she confronted a man who tore down a Pride flag that hung outside her store. (Click here for the story.) How senseless; how incredibly sad for Lauri and her family. Yes, sometimes allyship can be just that dangerous!
Given that story, this is the spot in the Ripple where I always make a pitch about donating to Human Ripple Works, Inc., the nonprofit which makes it possible for me to do more work for organizations that lack budgets for training, like Gray Area Thinking. Certainly I don't want to appear to be fundraising off of a tragedy. On the other hand, my work is directly aimed at helping all of us get along better. If you would like to support this work, please click here on the HRW website. Thank you!
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Finally....
The Ripple is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Please consider reading my book, Getting to Ellen: A Memoir about Love, Honesty and Gender Change; if possible, order it through your local bookstore. And, if your book club reads my book, I'm happy to come for the discussion via Zoom!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
elliejkrug@gmail.com
www.elliekrug.com
www.humaninspirationworks.com
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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