We are determined to touch base with you on this our 2nd year anniversary of the LoveNote2...and our 15th wedding anniversary. But, we've been celebrating:)

This anniversary, I've thought a lot about my wedding vows. I think couples say the vows with no real understanding of how easy or how hard it will be to live the vows. "Wilt thou love, comfort, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?" "I, ___, take thee, ____, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and, thereto I plight thee my faith". "With this ring, I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost". I "bolded" the parts that may be hard to live through: 1) In sickness: cancer (mastectomy), diabetes (insulin; impotence), car accident (paralysis), ALS, depression (can't get off the couch to go to work); 2) Forsaking all others: I've put on my Armani suit and I'm wearing my Salvatore Ferragamo Italia shoes. My bowtie and handkerchief are on point. I'm looking good. I'm on my way to my car...a 2015 Range Rover Sport. I'm leaving my 6000 square foot home with my beautiful wife and two beautiful, kids still in bed, and I am headed to work. Once at work, I am approached by fine, intelligent women in the office all day long; when I check my Facebook page, old college girlfriends are 'friend requesting' me. There are eight women to every one man...forsake all others?!  3) From this day forward: Are you saying that divorce is not an option? What if I'm not happy? What if we grow apart? 4) For worse: not enough money and all the bills are due; she keeps going out to parties with her girlfriends and I'm left at home every weekend to take care of the kids; I can't find a decent job, but she's moving and shaking...starting her own business, writing books, chairing committees, and sitting on boards; you haven't been physically intimate in three months and you don't know what's wrong; 5) For poorer: the car has been repossessed; the house is in foreclosure; the unemployment check will stop in 4 weeks; you don't know where you are going to get the money to send lunch money with the kids to school this week; 6) And, with all my worldly goods I thee endow: everything I have is yours...really?! I had this before I met you. If all I have is $10, I'm supposed to give you $5? Really?!

 

I've underlined the parts that may be easier to live with in your marriage. Sherman and I propose that the key to getting through the difficult times is focusing on the good times and the vows that are easy to live, such as 1) Love: kisses, hugs, "I love you's", words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time; 2) Comfort: doing whatever it takes to ease each other's pain/worry/fear; giving words of encouragement; 3) Honor: respecting each other; holding each other in high esteem; putting each other first; 4) Keep: holding on and refusing to let go; 5) For better: all the bills are paid; you're going on regular date nights; your sex life is great; 6) In health: you both are feeling mentally well, physically well, spiritually well, whole, and prosperous; 7) Cherish: you hold each other dear to your hearts; you don't say unkind words to or about one another; 8) According to God's holy ordinance: how we live together is based on how God leads us and directs us to live and love together; 9) I plight thee my faith: we pledge to believe in each other, believe in us.

We pray that you always remember that marriage is a commitment, that you've taken a vow (made a serious promise to God and to your spouse). We pray that God keeps us all reminded of our sacred vows, especially during this season of Thanksgiving. We pray that you remain grateful when it's easy and when it's hard.

 

 

With Love, Peace, and Gratitude,

 

 

 

Sherman and Paula Newman